Archive for the ‘the fam’ Category

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The Vine: January 20, 2010

Wednesday, January 20th, 2010

I don't know if I'm writing this more as a question or for therapy. All I know is life does not seem right and I'm not sure what right is anymore.

I've had three cats — my oldest is 11 years old, I have a four-year-old, and just recently lost a five-year-old. For most of my time with them I lived in an apartment, so they were indoor cats because they had nowhere they could go outside. I did always dream, though, of someday owning a house with a yard for my older cat to go outside in. I love my pets, they are like my family, and have always fed and cared for them very well. And damn, life was good.

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Posted in Vine, cats, etiquette, the fam | 58 Comments »

The Vine: January 6, 2010

Wednesday, January 6th, 2010

Dear Sars,

I've been getting several conflicting opinions on this one. I usually do a really good job staying out of office politics, but now I am in a situation where a non-committal grunt isn't going to cut it.

There has been a long-standing power struggle between my boss (B) and another person (A) in the department. Lately, they have been using me as a point of contention. We do grant work, and recently A asked if I could work on a new grant for him and he even offered to pay half of my salary. B said no (well, really she said, "No, I found her, she's mine"). In response to that, A has decided to reorganize the office, which mainly includes moving me.

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Posted in Vine, etiquette, the fam, workplace | 94 Comments »

The Vine: December 30, 2009

Wednesday, December 30th, 2009

Dear Sars,

I've read The Vine for a while and I think this is a new one. The closest one I can think of is the guy who bought all the chain mail off of eBay, but he was significant other, not a stepchild. Also, usually by the time I get done writing, re-wording, deleting, and asking my mom where I should put the comma, I've answered my own question. Not this time.

And yes, I know the solution to my problem is for me to speak the hell up. The thing is, I'm not sure a) whether I have the right to and b) how to do it.

Here's the situation:

My stepson, Q, is 20 years old. He dropped out of high school (which is a whole other story) and does not have his GED yet. He is unemployed. As of right now, he's on a daytime schedule, but usually he sleeps all day, waking up around 9 or 10 PM and then goes to bed around 3 in the afternoon. He typically spends his waking hours, no matter when they occur, either playing video games (on Xbox or computer) or watching TV. He has a license but no car, which he uses as an excuse to do nothing.

(I can hear your blood pressure rising from here.)

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Posted in Vine, boys (and girls), etiquette, roommates, the fam | 55 Comments »

The Vine: December 16, 2009

Wednesday, December 16th, 2009

Hey Sars,

So, I'm not going to bore you with the same "my cat pees out of the litterbox" question. He had urinary stones, they've been dealt with, he still pees inappropriately. I deal with it. Here's my question for you: do you know of any way to "cleanse the palate" of your nose, to be able to smell what you're used to?

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Posted in Vine, boys (and girls), cats, the fam | 94 Comments »

The Vine: December 9, 2009

Wednesday, December 9th, 2009

The Ask The Readers Holiday Gift Jam continues! At a loss/not feeling it this year? Let the TN readers help!

*****

Hey Sars,

I need some help from the readership. I need some new nightgowns for Christmas and I'd like to point the hubby to the right spot. But I have a laundry list a mile deep on this one (no pun intended). They have to be nightgowns/sleepshirts, they have to be 100% cotton, they have to have short sleeves and a v-neckline….and cover my behind. I'm a curvy girl, which adds to the mix. They can't have buttons or go past my knees — the way I sleep (like a crazy person) means I get tangled up in something too long, and the buttons just bug.

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Posted in Ask The Readers, Vine, baseball, boys (and girls), retail, the fam | 59 Comments »

The Vine: December 2, 2009

Wednesday, December 2nd, 2009

Dear Sars,

I'm looking for a great self-help book that can teach me how to deal with difficult people. Specifically, my sister-in-law Carrie.

If I spend too much time trying to describe her, it will only make me upset. I'll write a short list of incidents to help you get a (sour, bitter, foul) taste, and perhaps you guys can identify her specific flavor of "difficult."

1. She once told my family that we were terrible people who obviously don't love her, because we never call her. I call her at least once a month. She has called me three times in 15 years.

2. She once screamed at me in the middle of Colonial Williamsburg that I was ruining her marriage, after I said, "Please be nice to my mom."

3. She told my mother that she was a cold, evil woman and that's why she has no friends. (My mother has been caring for my blind father for 20 years — it's a little hard to take him to parties, right?)

4. Groom at wedding: "I'm so glad you could make it!" Carrie: "Well, you're not making me FEEL very welcome."

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Posted in Vine, grammar, kids, the fam | 74 Comments »

The Vine: November 18, 2009

Wednesday, November 18th, 2009

What's the proper construction for the possessive form of a noun phrase such as "commander-in-chief"? I know the plural is "commanders-in-chief," but is the plural possessive then "commanders'-in-chief"? "Or commanders-in-chief's"? That doesn't look right…

This question comes from a friend, and I've already recommended he just stay away from the apostrophe-S construction and go with a prepositional phrase instead ("belonging to the commanders-in-chief" or something to that effect). But now the plural possessive construction question is annoying me.

Thanks much!

LJB

Dear LJB,

"Commanders in chief's" looks wrong to me too, but the documentation I could find online says that's the correct construction.

It's less inelegant than the alternatives, I guess.

Sarah,

I have a roommate problem I'm hoping you can help me resolve. Two months ago, I moved into a house where a married couple and a young man were already living. We all get along really well; they give me space, we chat when we run into each other.

The problem: the man-half of the couple (let's call him P) doesn't seem to grasp the concept of lifting the seat. I share a bathroom with the couple, and the other guy (D) lives in the attic apartment and has his own bathroom. Soon after moving in, the wife of the couple warned me that D sometimes uses our bathroom, and "makes a mess," so if I see him coming out could I please remind him to use his own bathroom instead. As a result of this conversation, for weeks when I had to wipe the seat down before I used it I was mentally blaming D, though I only saw him come out of our bathroom once.

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Posted in Vine, grammar, roommates, the fam | 67 Comments »

The Vine: September 16, 2009

Wednesday, September 16th, 2009

Dear Sars,

Here's one that you've never answered: what should I do with my journals?

I have a bunch that I've written in for the past decade and was storing them in the basement. I decided to go through them today to see if there's anything worth saving and then shred the rest (or, likely, all of it). But…I don't know, some of it was interesting to me and surprising so many years later. In the end, I really didn't want to shred them.

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Posted in Vine, etiquette, friendships, rando, the fam | 62 Comments »

The Vine: September 9, 2009

Wednesday, September 9th, 2009

Dear Sars,

Last year, I moved out of state to live with my boyfriend. The move was based on financial necessity; I was recovering from an operation and couldn't work. The boyfriend (let's call him Adam) had a fully-paid-for home in his family's hometown as well as work contacts to help us get back on our feet. The downside is that we share the house with his brother who is a horrendous slob.

The brother, Jake, turned the upstairs living area into his bedroom, which forces me and Adam to walk through there to reach the bathroom and our bedroom. The room is a pigsty; as I type this, there has been a trash bag full of garbage sitting by Jake's computer now for three months.

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Posted in Vine, friendships, roommates, the fam, workplace | 33 Comments »

The Vine: September 2, 2009

Wednesday, September 2nd, 2009

Dear Sars,

I have what I consider to be rather sticky situation. My policy up to this point has been to keep my big mouth shut, but I'm not sure that I shouldn't say something, so here goes.

I have a long-distance friend who, despite the distance, has been a good friend for several years. She's in her early twenties and is honestly usually quite lovely, but recently there have been some changes in her family and she is not handling them well.

I'm sympathetic to her situation, which is kind of sucky, but nothing that would make the local papers or anything. Her mother died many years ago, and her father has recently remarried. My friend, who we can call "O," has stubbornly refused to make a place for this woman in their family. She's done this to a really extreme degree, in various ways that make me physically cringe when she relates the stories. She refuses to even call the woman by her name, and instead refers to her as "the troll." She has assured me she does not do this to the woman's face, thank the Lord.

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Posted in Vine, etiquette, friendships, the fam, workplace | 70 Comments »

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