Archive for the ‘roommates’ Category

The Vine: January 27, 2010

Wednesday, January 27th, 2010

Dear Sars,

I have fruit trees in my yard. Most of them are in the back behind a tall locked gate, but I have a tangerine tree in my front yard behind an unlocked (but gated) 3-foot-tall picket fence. When the fruit is ripe I pick it 2-3 times a week, but I don't have time to pick fruit every day.

Fruit tends to disappear from this tree in between pickings, and when I see the neighborhood kids taking fruit (by either reaching over the fence, or opening the gate and coming uninvited into my yard), I try to stay casual and say things like "Hey, you can have what you already picked, but please stop taking my fruit in the future," and leave it at that.

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The Vine: December 30, 2009

Wednesday, December 30th, 2009

Dear Sars,

I've read The Vine for a while and I think this is a new one. The closest one I can think of is the guy who bought all the chain mail off of eBay, but he was significant other, not a stepchild. Also, usually by the time I get done writing, re-wording, deleting, and asking my mom where I should put the comma, I've answered my own question. Not this time.

And yes, I know the solution to my problem is for me to speak the hell up. The thing is, I'm not sure a) whether I have the right to and b) how to do it.

Here's the situation:

My stepson, Q, is 20 years old. He dropped out of high school (which is a whole other story) and does not have his GED yet. He is unemployed. As of right now, he's on a daytime schedule, but usually he sleeps all day, waking up around 9 or 10 PM and then goes to bed around 3 in the afternoon. He typically spends his waking hours, no matter when they occur, either playing video games (on Xbox or computer) or watching TV. He has a license but no car, which he uses as an excuse to do nothing.

(I can hear your blood pressure rising from here.)

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The Vine: November 18, 2009

Wednesday, November 18th, 2009

What's the proper construction for the possessive form of a noun phrase such as "commander-in-chief"? I know the plural is "commanders-in-chief," but is the plural possessive then "commanders'-in-chief"? "Or commanders-in-chief's"? That doesn't look right…

This question comes from a friend, and I've already recommended he just stay away from the apostrophe-S construction and go with a prepositional phrase instead ("belonging to the commanders-in-chief" or something to that effect). But now the plural possessive construction question is annoying me.

Thanks much!

LJB

Dear LJB,

"Commanders in chief's" looks wrong to me too, but the documentation I could find online says that's the correct construction.

It's less inelegant than the alternatives, I guess.

Sarah,

I have a roommate problem I'm hoping you can help me resolve. Two months ago, I moved into a house where a married couple and a young man were already living. We all get along really well; they give me space, we chat when we run into each other.

The problem: the man-half of the couple (let's call him P) doesn't seem to grasp the concept of lifting the seat. I share a bathroom with the couple, and the other guy (D) lives in the attic apartment and has his own bathroom. Soon after moving in, the wife of the couple warned me that D sometimes uses our bathroom, and "makes a mess," so if I see him coming out could I please remind him to use his own bathroom instead. As a result of this conversation, for weeks when I had to wipe the seat down before I used it I was mentally blaming D, though I only saw him come out of our bathroom once.

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The Vine: September 9, 2009

Wednesday, September 9th, 2009

Dear Sars,

Last year, I moved out of state to live with my boyfriend. The move was based on financial necessity; I was recovering from an operation and couldn't work. The boyfriend (let's call him Adam) had a fully-paid-for home in his family's hometown as well as work contacts to help us get back on our feet. The downside is that we share the house with his brother who is a horrendous slob.

The brother, Jake, turned the upstairs living area into his bedroom, which forces me and Adam to walk through there to reach the bathroom and our bedroom. The room is a pigsty; as I type this, there has been a trash bag full of garbage sitting by Jake's computer now for three months.

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The Vine: May 29, 2009

Friday, May 29th, 2009

Hi Sars,

My new downstairs neighbors smoke and I'm very sensitive to it. In addition, the building I live in is VERY dusty. Therefore, I'm interested in purchasing an air purifier of some kind — but I have NO idea what kind to get.

I know they can be both loud and expensive — I'd like to find something reasonably priced that's not too loud (if such a thing exists). Any ideas?

Also — if you have any suggestions about dealing with smokers in the building (especially when some of the smoke ends up in your apartment), that would be greatly appreciated as well.

Allison

Dear Allison,

I'll let the readers handle the air-purifier question, as my idea of an air purifier is the cheapest possible oscillating fan at the dollar store.

As far as dealing with smokers, if smoke is getting into your apartment, you should mention that to the neighbors and ask if they'd mind stepping outside with their cigarettes. Certainly if they use common areas in the building, that needs to stop, but if they're inside their own apartment, there may not be much you can do besides a polite request for them to go outdoors, coupled with mentioning it to the landlord or management company.

Not that they could necessarily do much about it either, but you could leverage the livability issue into getting them to pay for part or all of the air purifier.

Let's see what the readers think.

The Vine: January 21, 2009

Wednesday, January 21st, 2009

Dear Sars,

I am looking for tips on how to become tougher. I've always found it hard to reconcile myself with the idea that some people don't like me, or disapprove of some things I do, and it's all coming to a head now.

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The Vine: January 7, 2009

Wednesday, January 7th, 2009

Hello Sars,

I write about the lovely Robert, who is not actually our landlord, but the legal caretaker for our absentee landlord's buildings and tenants (absentee landlord lives in Europe). I lived with three wonderful roommates in a pretty nice flat in Boston for one year. Things started getting annoying as soon as we filled out the rental application, and have now reached their climax. I will elaborate as briefly as I can.

When we arrived at the place, we found it a mess. The previous tenants not only didn't patch up the holes in the walls, they left a bunch of heavy furniture there, as well. Also, the things we had requested be fixed (missing floor tiles, missing window screens, broken screen door, broken glass on our deck door, rotting windowsill in shower, broken power outlet, one roommate's bedroom door wouldn't shut, etc. ) hadn't even been touched.

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The Vine: December 17, 2008

Wednesday, December 17th, 2008

Dear Sars,

I don't ever seem to have great luck with my living situations. I had finally shaken off the curse of the terrible roommates by getting a one-bedroom (and a cat! yay!) and felt like things were looking up. Then I started dealing with some of the apartment's little…quirks. I think one in particular is getting to me, and I need you to tell me if I'm being crazy or not. You have experience with cats, and apartments, and this e-mail is about those two things more or less entirely.

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The Vine: October 8, 2008

Wednesday, October 8th, 2008

Dear Sars,

Four years ago, I moved into an apartment with my cousin, signing a month-to-month agreement. The rent was $1000, $500 each, plus utilities that we also split evenly.

In February 2007, my cousin started dating a guy who more or less moved into the apartment. He spent every single night at our place, even on nights when she wasn't here — she went away for a weekend to a bachelorette party and he still stayed at my apartment. He showered here, did his laundry here, cooked here, used the grill, etc. He was actually unemployed for most of the winter, and stayed in our apartment while my roommate and I were at work all day, running up our electricity bill and whatnot.

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The Vine: May 30, 2008

Friday, May 30th, 2008

Sars,

I just stepped out of the shower, and I'm at the end of my soap-on-a-rope. About the shower, that is.

See, my husband, dog, and I live in a beautiful apartment in an 1887 "castle" which boasts a 5-foot-long claw foot tub. It's simply scrumptious, and it's now becoming a requirement for when we buy a house. It also has a shower head. You know, for showers. Trouble is, the wonderous showering has produced a nasty sort of mildew film on all of the shower
curtains.

Yes, curtainS. By necessity, we shower surrounded by 5 (yes, five) shower curtains. Two on each long side, just due to its length, and one more to cover the leaky patch in the back where two curtains meet and water dribbles onto the carpet (yes, carpet in a bathroom — a questionable decision, but still). So, encased in vinyl as we are, it's super-nasty to see the film and growth of whatever that is on the curtains surround the shower-er.

Do you or your readers have creative solutions/products for us so we can circumvent this problem and stop feeling like we're bathing in squalor? Are there shower curtains that are truly mildew-proof? Are there products that won't leave me wheezing that I can use on the curtains? Does anyone else shower in such a set-up who would be able to offer advice?

Can't use the curtains from the wedding registry for fear of mildew reprisal!

Dear Doing The 'Dew,

I grew up in an old house and showered in just such a set-up for many years, and many's the time I shrank away from a shower-curtain panel drifting furrily towards me on a third-floor draft.

First, let's define some terms. Some people use the term "shower curtain" to cover any plastic or fabric with holes punched at the top which surrounds a showering area, but it's important to distinguish between actual shower curtains and shower-curtain liners. A curtain liner is usually much more obviously plastic or vinyl and not stereotypically living-room-drapes-y; it's the part you tuck into the bathtub, whereas a proper shower curtain, you can leave hanging outside so that everyone may get the full effect of the dolphins or posies or subway lines or whatever is printed on it.

You may already know this, in which case I apologize for talking to you like we're in first-semester Home Ec, but you would be surprised at how many people don't. Anyway: if you don't have liners, consider getting them — or using only liners instead. The vinyl fumes are kind of crazy for the first few days, but the liners are far easier to clean without staining or damaging them, because that's what they're made for.

You have several options as far as that goes. You can try that "spray the shower every day" cleaner, which I have had little luck with in a soft-water city. You can put on your calendar every 4-6 weeks that you have to take the liners down and clean them, and here's how you do that: run the tub full of warm water; add a cup of bleach (or your favorite environmentally correct cleanser); sponge the mildew off; rinse the liners and re-hang. It's a somewhat splattery gig, so I used to do it naked, hit the ceiling above the tub with the same bleach solution (if you're having mildew issues on the curtains, you should check the tub environs for it too), then shower afterwards.  It sounds like a huge pain but it really only takes ten minutes from start to finish.

And even though it's become kind of a shorthand for anal roommate behavior, it's worth noting: when you're done showering, close the curtains so they can dry better. If you have a window in the bathroom, leave it cracked in temperate weather; leave the door open other times, or get a tiny fan for when it's a humid spell.

The other solution is to find a place, like a flea market, that offers liners for like a buck each, and just slap down a hundy and stock up for the year. When one liner gets grody, chuck it and hang a new one. I suspect it takes shower-curtain liners about ten thousand years to biodegrade, so you may not consider that a viable solution, but it's an option.

To review: make sure you have liners up; make sure you're doing everything you can to keep them dry after you shower or bathe; get some bleach or Method green-grass cleaner and scrub them with a sponge or Brillo pad once a month or so; live a happy life.

Readers? Anything I've forgotten?