Fall contest ahoy!
The TN Fall Contest is set to launch on October 1 — once again, we’ll be raising money for Donors Choose as part of their Blogger Challenge. Stay tuned for goal updates.
Before we start, though, we’ve got a little business to take care of. First, prizing — if you’d like to donate a prize, please email me at sars at tomatonation dot com. I’ll offer the usual array of gift certificates and whatnot, but if you’d like to join the fun, drop me a line.
Second, I need ideas for an incentive for the bonus round. Things I will not do include: shaving my head again; shaving one of the cats; bungee-jumping; registering as a Republican in New York State; getting another tattoo.
Other suggestions I’ve received:
1. go to a Red Sox bar in full Yankee-fan regalia
2. live-blog the entire World Series
3. a culture cram — the top 5 donors pick a bunch of movies and I have to watch and review them in a single weekend
4. dress up in some outrageous clown costume and walking down Wall Street that way, singing “Damn, It Feels Good To Be A Gangster”
5. NOT shaving, providing regular photographic updates on my armpit hair (…I don’t make the news, folks, I just report it)
6. shoot a video of myself doing the post-kiss sidewalk dance from My So-Called Life
7. eat a hamburger
8. go a month without alcohol (or cheese, or saying anything mean)
9. stay awake for 72 hours
10. “Beard of bees!” (see: my comments on #5)
11. ride a mechanical bull
12. “celebri-date”/Sars Pub Night in the city that raises the most money
13. offer guest spots on The Vine
14. learn to juggle; film the pathetic attempt/results
Off the top of my head: #1 isn’t quite stunty enough (unless someone has a Bucky Dent uniform shirt I can borrow). #2 is doable and sounds fun to me, but not so great for the readers who don’t care about baseball. #s 3 and 4, both doable; #4 in particular, with a few location tweaks, could be hilarious if I a) go to work dressed like that and b) film my entire day, including meetings. #5, meh; it’s about to be long-sleeve weather. #6 is too easy. #7 is…well, predictable, and also gross, and, you know, you can always rent Jackass 2.
Now, #8…#8 has possibilities. It’ll be like Tomato Lent-tion. Or something.
#9 is not happening because I’m too old. #10 is not happening because I don’t want to die. #11, meh. #s 12-14, all doable, and #14 could get awesome very quickly (note: I will not juggle cats, or at least not my own…sleeping kittens, maybe).
Any other ideas? Care to make me pay for your generosity by forcing me to give up booze for a month? Let’s hear it in the comments.
Tags: contests
Uh…from the perspective of a Sox fan, I think #1 would be a lot more fun if you went to a Yankees bar dressed from head to toe in Sox regalia!
I’m not a particular sports fan (with one exception), but articles like this one on SI.com about a Texas Longhorns fan nearly being manually castrated by a rival Oklahoma fan at a bar makes me think twice about messing with sports rivalries: http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/2007/football/ncaa/09/11/oklahoma.texas.fight.ap/index.html?cnn=yes
Of course, where I live there is a mix of Red Sox/Yankees fans. CT sort of generally divides between East and West, but the nature of our location means they have learned to coexist relatively peacefully.
do you drink coffee/tea/ soda on a regular basis? Because I’m guessing that making you forgo caffeine would be more entertaining than giving up alcohol, although it is possible more cruel.
Would you be willing to dye your hair a strange color? Things involving hair amuse me the most.
Otherwise, I’d go for #1. Perhaps in a Babe Ruth jersey? I don’t know enough about that situation to know if that’s still a sore spot.
Those kittens wouldn’t stay sleeping for long.
Yes, I drink a boatload of caffeine. That would be kind of a horror show, at least for the first few days.
I would dye my hair just about any color (or more than one).
I say #3. Incentives all around, rewards all around. And just enough cruelty to make it worthwhile, especially if one of the movies is Dishdogz, starring Haylie Duff.
I agree with be right back and vote for #3. I think I’d get the most enjoyment out of that one. It would be interesting to see what the winners picked, and I always like reading your movie reviews.
(And dear me, a month without caffeine? The horror!)
I vote 3, with an extra plea for the entire Godfather trilogy.
I read #4, and then your suggestions about #4, and said, “I would pay good money to see that.” And then I thought, hey, and that’s the whole point! Rock!
So I vote Clown Costume.
I vote for doing something, as opposed to abstaining from something. It’s much more rewarding to watch. #2 and #4 are pretty good. I actually think #2 might get a lot of additional press, like the head-shaving did, which is good for the cause. For #4, maybe go to work dressed up, and be forced to reply to everyone who speaks to you “Damn it feels good to be a gangsta.” As well as doing to whole song on a subway car on the way to work? Yeah, endless possibilities there.
I’m voting for #5.. or #12, if you’re willing to come back to San Francisco (we won’t take the purse this time, promise).
If you’re gonna do a rival sports thing, I’d go for visiting a Sox bar in a Clemens Yankee jersey or something similar… pretty much the same vein as the Babe Ruth jersey but as it’s more current, it might sting more – especially with the postseason race going the way it is.
I vote for you having to react random scenes from movies chosen by the readers/donators. It has potential I think to be be both embarrassing and hilarious if the right movies are chosen.
How about requiring you to try out for a reality tv show (preferably one that TWOP recaps)? It would have to be one where you have a realistic shot at getting on. Sars on Big Brother. . . or, I know!, Sars and Wing Chun on Amazing Race – that’s it!
Hee hee, “beard of bees”… yeah, that could probably cause death, either from bees or terror. But before death, comedic gold!
I like the pub night idea, but I think New York readers have a plurality of not a majority, so that wouldn’t give the rest of us much of a chance. I bet the movie reviews from the culture cram would be fun to read.
Ooo, I like Julie’s idea a lot. Try out, and write about the experience, natch. I also like number 3. I don’t really like the “give up blank for a month” ones, because they could possibly make your writing suffer, which would punish all of us. As for 14, I know how to juggle, I’ve taught people how to juggle, and it’s not that funny to watch. People always mess up in the same ways, and they just drop stuff, until one day they don’t any more.
Recap the entire coming season of a show you completely hate, such as According to Jim.
That would be hilarious — and cathartic — but my contract precludes doing A2J recaps over here (and no reality show is going to take an NBC employee, unfortunately).
I vote for number 2. I know nothing about baseball, and have little to no interest in team sports, and yet I read your baseball articles with pleasure… seriously. Every now and then, one of your “beginning of the season” stories has infected me to the point that I’ve thought, “maybe I SHOULD just try watching a baseball game, see what it’s like.”
More writing is good. And by the end of it all, you’d likely be so punchy that the hilarity factor would be cubed at least.
I like the culture cram or the clown costume best. Though only because beard of bees is out.
I vote #3. Your movie reviews are great.
I feel that I need to comment on the story posted by Amie. I am an Okie afterall.
Anyway, just know that we’re not all like that. lol I’m not even a Sooners fan. It’s Oklahoma State all the way for me. And, believe me, it’s almost as bad to wear an OSU shirt in a crowd of OU fans as it is to wear a Longhorns shirt.
These people even purchase Longhorn stickers so that they can put them upside down on their car windows. How funny is that?
Anyway, on to the contest. #12 is my favorite idea. It would have to be videiotaped though.
Even if #2 isn’t generally-appealing enough to be the final choice, I hope you do it anyway! Or at least some of it, or Game 7 if there is one. (Which, I hope. When was the last time a WS went to 7 games? Seems like ages. I’m a Twins fan, so my preconception is that a WS should be as dramatic as possible: seven games, extra innings, walkoff homers, series-saving heroic defense, Black Jack Morris stomping out to the mound for ten scoreless….)
Anyway. If not #2, then I vote for either #3 or #4.
How about instead of recapping A2J, you just have to watch, say, a season and live-blog it?
Other than that, I’m for #3.
i vote dress as hip hop harry (not for halloween).
I also vote #3. The worse the movie, the better. It would be such a gift to us fans of your snark.
As someone who works in the financial district, I vote for number 4. Definitely 4.
You won’t shave your cats, but would you consider dyeing them?
Or possibly your own hair. SARS GOES GREEN!
Re: #3 – I totally forgot about this, but years ago you had an article about the worst movies ever (I remember “Here on Earth” was on the list, and I think you also did an entire article about why it sucked so much). Maybe you could live-blog those?
I vote for #3…I suggest that it be a B movie-athon though. Some could be classically funny schlock, of course, like “Amazon Women on the Moon”, so we could enjoy the usual snark. But some would also have to be truly BAD B movies. That way when you write about them, it could double as a cautionary tale. “Kids, this is what happens when your brain is exposed to truly excrutiating levels of suck.”
I’d love to see the gangsta outfit AND guest spots on TN.
I say #3 is my favorite too, the more horrible the movies the better.
I vote for #4. It’s the most zany.
Just a helpful hint: If you’re going to learn to juggle, use beanbags – you don’t have to chase a beanbag, it stays where it lands. Hey, maybe you could juggle EGGS for our amusement! That would me a total mess! Think of the slo-mo possibilities!
You are so cool to do these things for charity, Sars. Loveya!
I live in OKC — that news story horrified everyone with whom I spoke. Especially the boys…anyway.
I like #4 for entertainment value. I actually like #2, even though I don’t follow baseball — I also enjoy your writings on the subject.
I vote for #2 or #3. Number 2 if by some miracle the Cubs actually make the Series, and number 3 if not. I always enjoy your baseball pieces, and would love to read your take on the nail-biting, hair-pulling, eye-rolling madness that is Cubs baseball.
Hey Krissa! I’m in OKC too! Southside, baby! :-)
Ooops… I think I’ve veered off topic. Sorry Sars.
Of course, anything involving baseball is good with me; the idea of a Sars-blog of Tim McCarver’s October insanity sounds really, really excellent. And if you did #1, you’d have to show up in a Curt Schilling jersey or it ain’t worth the effort.
(‘Course, by which I meant the opposite suggestion of visiting a Yankees bar in Red Sox gear, which IMHO would be funnier. Music history ate my brain this morning.)
I vote #3, for sure. But maybe instead of the top five donors picking the movies, it could be a randomly selected five? I always love to donate during the Fall contest but I’m a little too poor be a top donor. Thanks!
…oh, and #6 is also a keeper. That one’s my sentimental favorite.
#8 is bullshit. I wouldn’t force it on my worst enemy. I like #3, but it’s a bit too obvious, so I’d go with #14.
I vote for the full-day clown costume idea, because of its potential for comedy. I’m a huge baseball fan and even I can’t imagine being interested in reading a live-blog of the World Series.
7:05 Play ball!
7:06 Batter is at the plate.
7:07 Strike one.
7:08 Pitcher scratches balls.
7:09 Ball one.
7:10 Ball two.
7:11 Catcher and pitcher have conversation on mound. Catcher spits.
7:12 Umpire starts to approach mound, looking bored and/or annoyed.
7:13 Catcher pats pitcher on ass with glove, returns to plate.
7:14 Lots of standing around not doing much. Right-fielder scratches balls, spits, and shifts his weight to his other leg.
7:15 Strike two
7:16 Catcher returns to mound to talk to pitcher. Again. Guy in bleachers behind me starts humming the theme song from Jeopardy.
7:17 Strike three
See what I mean?
You guys…don’t make her do the caffeine thing. Really. Please.
…Says one of the people who will have to shove my lifeless form out of the way to do my work for me. hee.
I’ve got a better one!!! Wear a temp tattoo on your face for a week. Forehead preferably. It would be even funnier if you had to add a new one every day.
I gotta vote for #3, with the aforementioned B-movie spin. Maybe some thematic unity in the titles, like “Vampires by the Numbers?”
I’d LOVE to see recaps of;
Dracula 2000 (even Gerard Butler can’t make up for it)
Dracula 3000 (Coolio? In space? With…what the hell?!)
Dracula AD1972
Dracula III (Rutger Hauer without Buffy? Jason Scott Lee as a…priest?)
Well, a girl’s gotta dream!
#4 sound like a winner to me. With it FILMED.
Although must the costume specifically be a clown one? I’m sure there are more outrageously bizarre outfits we can think of…
#4 has my vote. Really, though, I’ll donate what I can no matter what. DC = love.
Go a month without saying anything mean? That would just suck for all of us. (Especially since it would mean no possibility for a new GBC entry.)
It does not have to be a clown costume. I would not dress up as anything that implies a politically conservative agenda (i.e. no pro-Cheney t-shirts) but other than that, I’m open.