I am a junior in high school trying to decide what to major in in college and ultimately, what to do with my life. The problem is, the two halves of my brain are pulling …

Oh, hello, dear readers. Another Monday has arrived, and you have come once again to read an essay . . . or perhaps you’ve dropped by first thing on Tuesday morning, after you settled down …

I helped my best friend move last Friday. Ernie had to move a bunch of stuff from her old old apartment, which she’d sold, to her more recent old apartment, which she’d vacated after a …

I know, I know. It’s got you up nights. You lie in your bed, staring at the ceiling, the minutes stretching into hours, and you toss and turn and punch your pillow and say to …

A few years ago, Tim Burton came out with a book called The Melancholy Death Of Oyster Boy, a book of extremely depressing little poems about children with oyster shells for heads and fins instead …

I need a haircut again. As always, I’ve put off getting the haircut for several weeks longer than I should have, and my split ends have transformed my head into a fuzzy bell. The cycle …

Last Saturday, I returned home from a much-needed trip to Florida, staggered into my apartment, kicked my suitcase to one side, gave the cat a quick pat, and peeled off every stitch of clothing before …

The Academy Awards remind me of New Year’s Eve. For weeks, nobody can talk about anything else, and the hype keeps snowballing bigger and bigger until even non-entertainment-related publications like Scientific American and Car & …

Over the weekend, I stopped in at my parents’ house – I’d gone on a road trip, and I needed to return my trusty car Shadow to the carport where she lives most of the …

“Women in particular expressed their distaste [for Hillary Rodham Clinton] in strong but inchoate terms. . . . two prominent Democratic officials told me, independently, that they had noticed much the same pattern in talking …