Gall Of Fame: Baseball’s Most Loathed Players
Which baseball player do you despise above (or perhaps “below”) all others?Which name, upon its mention, sends your heart rate up into a hate gyre?
Do you hate the same players now that you did when you were a kid — or have other players replaced the Rich Gedmans and Von Hayeses in the blackest precincts of your heart?
Who wins a dickfest: Dick Allen, or Barry Bonds?What if it’s a douchefest?Who wins that?
Do you hate any players that you used to love because of comments they’ve made (or assy behavior they’ve engaged in) after their careers ended?
Have any of your hatreds mellowed into grudging respect?
Talk to me.Talk to me about baseball players you hate, baseball players your friends hate, baseball players your grandpa hated.Used to hate?Tell me.Want to hate, but can’t? Let it out.I want to hear about the cherished loathings of baseball fandom, even if it’s just you who hates the guy.
I also want to hear the ways, if any, in which the sharing of these abhorrences contributes to your experience of watching/consuming baseball.When you invite, say, Jonathan Papelbon to eat a handful of bees at the top of your lungs in the bleachers, does it make you feel a part of things?Does the ritual telling of Dave Kingman stories on the porch or at the bar contribute to your sense of being a baseball fan?
Or do you just want Dave Kingman to go very far away and take his iron glove with him?
No player too old or insignificant; no grievance too random or inconsequential.It’s over a month ’til pitchers and catchers report, I’ve got a discussion session to plan, and I HATE KEVIN BROWN.HATE HIM.STILL.PUNCH A BEE WITH YOUR NON-PITCHING HAND, BITCHFACE.Haaaaate!
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Tags: Barry Bonds bees curmudgeoning Dave Kingman Dick Allen Gregg Jefferies Jonathan Crapelbon Kevin Brown Rich Gedman Von Hayes
Hands down, Jose Canseco. And yes, I felt very involved and proud when I yelled that he was an a-hole at him during the NYY Championship parade and he heard me and waved. : ) (My Mom? Not so proud.)
Carl Everett, Barry Bonds, a handful of Red Sox and White Sox round out the list, too.
I’ll start. In addition to Kevin Brown and Gregg Jefferies, I hate or have hated Goose Gossage (full of himself post-career, always calling a press conference to lecture current pitchers); Rich Gedman (no reason, just didn’t like his face); Curt Schilling (downgraded to grudging respect, but: 1) Republican and 2) famewhore); Darryl Strawberry (bratty, jaked in the field); Carl Pavano (sucked; got hurt; sucked; got hurt; acted like he didn’t want to be there; got good after going to another team; has a threehead); Randy Johnson (fuckin’ baby); Vince Coleman (played for Cardinals; came to Mets, sucked); Whitey Herzog (managed Cardinals; folksy); Jose Reyes (overrated, immature head case); Mike Piazza (can’t put my finger on it, but: hate, glad Clemens threw at his head, I know that’s wrong but it’s how I feel); Mike Scott (cheaty bitch, looked like a phys ed teacher); Felix “The Run Fairy” Heredia (see: nickname); Chris Cannazzaro (sp?) (dick); Sid Bream (rodent face); Rico Brogna (no real reason); Wade Boggs (adulterous, chicken-obsessed weirdo with porn stache; rode a horsie around the field after the ’96 Series and generally comported himself like a tween); Kenesaw Mountain Landis, Dixie Walker, and Ty Cobb (racist fucks).
Oh, and Bud Selig, and whoever traded Ramiro Mendoza. OH, AND ROB GODDAMN DIBBLE.
Let’s see…you name your kid after OUR stadium because you’ve had so much success there? Go to hell, Larry.
As for how it makes me feel, I recognize that it’s juvenile, but it really is enjoyable to direct my anger at someone with no holds barred. Although I don’t actually wish him harm – just failure.
Side note: Cub fans are going to be mad Steve Garvey wasn’t in the original post. One that I know once changed his username at BBTF to “Garvey Delenda Est” – unfortunately for him, some unwitting newcomer started referring to him as Garvey, which led to an immediate horrified name change.
@lake: …EVERETT! Great one.
Gary Gaetti (never liked him after seeing “Thank you” and “Jesus” written on his gloves during the player introductions of either an all-star game or ALCS).
Pay-Rod
How could I forget John “Jerkier Than A Box Of” Rocker.
Roger Clemens is way too easy a target, but I’ll always want him to eat Icy-Hot until he is literally blue in the face. Sanctimonious pickleface Texan roid-robot. Ditto for Randy Johnson (who will be getting an annual Audobon subscription forever) and my current whiny-snotnose hate-on champion, Josh Beckett, who makes Pedro seem like Don Quixote by comparison.
Picking on the jerks (and sometimes even the good guys who are just pests to play against–Adam Kennedy) is definitely part of the whole thing, without a doubt. It’s a slow enough game that you need to pass the time during at-bats and waiting for the beer guy; but every part of the game allows enough time to pass that you can set up, build and expand your criticism of a guy until it blows up when he whiffs, or in your face when he strikes out the side. Drama right there, even if a homer isn’t slugged to the bleachers.
The older guys just seem kinda too sad now to hate on. Except Rickey Henderson. Jeesh, now there’s someone who will never go gently into that good night.
Dustin Pedroia. I hate the Red Sox with the fiery intensity of a thousand suns, and he’s the epitome of why. Has been arrogant since being called up. I can’t even think of him without getting pissed off, and man, I wish I had a concrete reason. I did love that Playstation commercial, though. (“How many MVPs do you know that can’t hit that pitch?” “Other than you?”)
What a great topic!
In addition to some already mentioned.
Mark McGwire..hated him on Oakland, hated him as a Cardinal, something about the goatee I think.
Edgar Martiniez…1995..game 5…I’m a Yankees fan. Enough said. Paplebon because he actually thinks he’s better than Mariano.
I used to hate Ken Griffey Jr because everyone else seemed to love him so much and I couldn’t figure out why. Now though I sort of wish he hadn’t been injured all those times and imagine what he could have been.
I don’t want to hate Ichiro, but the way he points his bat at the pitcher before every pitch drives me up the wall . I have to admire what an amazing hitter he his though.
And Chone Figgins, 1) because it’s Shawn!!!! or Sean!!! and 2) that guy is damn fast and annoying
…Garry Templeton! Something about the “Garry” spelling just bugs me (see also: Andruw Jones) (I know, I know, but I don’t care — hate!).
And this: http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/page2/story?page=keri/070917
I’ll get the Yankees out of the way first. Jorge Posada and his skinny head the same width as his long irritating neck and his ‘disbelief’ at the plate when he doesn’t agree with a call. Chuck Knoblach and his fellow crybaby Paul O’Neill, they were the Sean Penns of ’90s baseball; Alex “Slappy McBlueLips” Rodriguez; the Giambis and their red-faced roid rage. Carl Everett and his pompous assholery;pitchers Randy Johnson, John Rocker, Barry Bonds, and Roger Clemens (a recent addition) Schilling. All self-aggrandizing egomaniacs. I pretty much hate anyone who has a tantrum after being outmatched at the plate, esp. those who throw their bats (uh, all of em! I know…).
But topping my list of not necessarily justified ire is Robbie Effing Alomar. I can’t tell you when it started -it was before that spitting incident – but I have always DESPISED him. So much so that I am actually estranged from my college roomie, who married a Cleveland Indians fan and Alomar lover. It was him or me, but that’s just FINE. Let them live in shame for aligning themselves with that bastard.
Wow. Cathartic!
As a Red Sox fan, this year is very hard for me. Red Sox players who made the ultimate betrayl and signed with the Yankees (Johnny Damon, I’m still pissed) are players I hate. They could have signed with any other team and I would wish them well, but not if they sign with the Yankees. Then they are dead to me.
I love this! Scott Rolen and his 3rd grade haircut make me so mad I am actually seeing red. Milton Bradley sucks too but I can’t seem to get it up for someone who doesn’t care at all.
On the other hand, I used to loath Pedro Martinez and now I sort of love him, but he has been at least 3 people during his career so I think that is fair.
Finally, though this may be off topic I need to tell this story. When I was 8 or 9 I saw Curt Schilling at a restaurant and asked him to sign something. He signed my menu “Mitch Williams.” I thought he did it because I was a girl, now I realize it was because he was an asshole. I cried and cried. The best part though is that I saw Mitch Williams a couple of years later and told him he had always been my favorite and told him this story. He laughed and laughed and asked for my address and then sent me a huge box of stuff including a Schilling promotional picture that he drew devil horns etc on. I still have it, Curt Schilling is a dick
Casey F—— Blake. Oh, I know, no one else cares, but it seems like every time he played the Tigers back when he was an Indian, he’d become the world’s greatest hitter and snatch victory from my beloved Tigers’ paws. I think it was only one season but it was painful. And lasting scars! Also, it’s fun to say Casey F—— Blake, complete with swears when watching the games on TV or on updates on yahoo! as is frequently the case for this out of towner Tigers fan.
@BDanger: I have already been laughing out loud on my commute home, but your story takes the cake. That is awesome.
My special baseball hate is for Tom Glavine, who turned down an assload of money to stay with the Braves (who MADE HIS CAREER) to take a slightly larger assload from the Mets. His grandchildren will never have to have jobs. Fuck you, Tom. Also, for the way he behaved during the strike.
I LOVE that Curt Schilling story. He IS a dick.
Yes yes a thousand times yes on Chone Figgins and Andruw Jones. Perhaps more their moms than the men themselves, though. My fantasy team members are chosen solely on the weirdness of the spelling of their names.
As for the Mike Piazza hate – I didn’t understand it either, but I thought about it and… blond. Remember that? Yeah. That right there is enough to want to smack the Nice ‘n’ Easy right off his head.
And although he was a Met and seemed to be all right, I gotta hate on Pedro Martinez for that brawl when he took Don Zimmer by the head and bounced him off the infield. NOT NICE, PEDRO.
Wade Boggs was the first one I thought of. Just an all-around jerk. I once got into a mild argument with some guy sitting behind me at a Twins game for saying that out loud. The guy said, “How can you say that? He’s a good player?” I said, “I didn’t say he wasn’t a good player, I said he was a jerk.” He couldn’t argue with that.
Whitey Herzog and Mike Piazza are also on my list. Canseco is so ridiculous he’s hardly worth hating.
Tommy Herr, the sickest man on the active roster in 1988 (the year after the Twins beat the Cardinals in the World Series). He came to the Twins from the Cardinals and dogged it or called in sick all season long.
Today, most of all, I hate any baseball writer who didn’t vote for Bert Blyleven to be in the Hall of Fame. Weasels.
I’m going to need a while to gather my list, but John Rocker is the HEAD FUCKTARD IN THE KINGDOM OF DOUCHE. My vision is getting blurry just thinking about him. DIE!!!!!!!!!
David Cone and his stupid bleach-filled supersoaker; Jim Bunning (more as a senator than a pitcher); Sammy (I don’t understand you!) Sosa; Sidney Ponson, just for being a HUGE waste of space (and DUI); Albert “Joey” Belle for being dangerously insane and chasing kids with his car. And Steve Howe, for getting suspended for drugs about a dozen times and never managing to clean up his act. Ever.
This may sound like a way too obvious choice, but…Pete Rose. I loved him as a kid, and enjoyed informing people that he and my dad went to the same high school (Go, Western Hills Mustangs!). I even liked the terrible haircut, in a way. Then all the gambling stuff came out, and after that it was just…ugh, now you annoy me and make me sad.
@BDanger, I’m glad to hear Mitch Williams is a nice guy. After he threw that last pitch to Joe Carter in the 1993 World Series, I hated him SO. VERY. MUCH. Gaaaaaaah! I now like him again, since he was nice enough to send you a box of baseball goodies. Aw, Mitch.
Bucky F-ing Dent.
I’ve heard he’s a nice guy and I guess he had a decent career, but he crushed my father’s hopes and dreams in 1978 and I won’t forgive that.
@Devin. Word on the Larry hate. So word.
As an old school Met fan I have a weird hate of Tim Tuffel’s face and Ray Knight and his …everything I guess.
I can’t stand Bobby Bonilla and I will hate him till he dies.
Carl Everett, John Rocker, Jeff ‘hurt washing my car’ Kent can all eat killer bees.
That’s just a start.
I just realized all the players I really hate are (or once were) Red Sox. Manny Ramirez, Schilling, Clemens, Pedro Martinez. Hmm, that can’t be a coincidence. I have no love for Randy Johnson or Barry Bonds, either.
J.D. Drew. Still haven’t forgiven that schmuck.
@Rachel: I hate Pedro with the fire of a thousand nuns, but if The Gerbil had been charging at me full-steam, I’d likely have done the same. I was way less impressed with the way he was taunting Posada, but as far as Zimmer…yeah, the guy was old, and maybe try to grab another body part, but Zim could still have fucked him up (and had every intention thereof), so that, I can let go.
I hate him less now than I used to; most of my Ped-rage was to do with the fact that he was effing unhittable.
@Kris: Seriously. Andre Dawson? The one guy most sabermetricians are like, “Good player, but: no”? It’s like the traditional sporting press is taunting me.
@elizabeth: …Teufel! I didn’t mind him, but Ma loved pointing out that the name in German means “devil.” And also that his nostrils could block out the sun.
I have to say, I don’t know anything at all about baseball and the comments and hatefest actually makes me want to learn so that I can be a part of that community. All I know is that guy who bleached his skin is creepy as shit.
Chipper Jones. Whiny bastard. Stupid name for a grown man. A couple of years ago I was at a game with my sister and she was filling out an All-Star ballot. She selected Chipper because he was having a good year. I tore up her ballot.
Jeff Bagwell + Craig Biggio. Just kiss and get it over with, already. OH — and stick your heavily-padded elbow a little further over the plate, Jeffie. And shave the really nasty thing growing from your chin.
Jason Fucking Isringhausen. That’s his full name, bestowed upon him by me, used by every single member of my family. Even my parents. As much as we argue about sports, we all agreed on this one. How many saves does a closer have to blow before he’s not a closer anymore? Only LaRussa knows for sure. (Another one I hate, although not technically a player).
I also hate Tony “Dad Cap” LaRussa.
You know who I should totally hate, but don’t, is Gary Sheffield. That guy is AN ASS, and yet, I kind of love him.
A. J. Pierzynski! I HATE that guy! Cocky bastard. His own teammates hate him! I was so happy when Michael Barrett clocked him. The pictures of his stupid fat jowls flapping in the wind with Barrett mid-swing are priceless! That guy deserved to get punched about a thousand times by a number of different players. Whenever I see him or hear his name, I channel some little old lady shaking an angry fist in the air, cursing his name and spitting on the ground. Ptew! Ptew! Ptew!
@Vicky: Link, please? (I’m a bad person.)
Most Yankees, but especially I hate Jason effing Giambi and his nasty, greasy hair and general slimeball-yness. Also A-Rod. Manny Ramirez, of course – if I never see his lazy-fielding, selfish, quitter mug on my television again it will be too soon. Clemens, even before the HGH/steroid crap. He strikes me as an entitled, sociopathic prick. As a Braves fan, I harbor residual goodwill towards nearly all former Braves, but John Rocker can bite me.
hee — if we could only harness the RAGE and IRE of this column, we could power the entire Northeast!
excellent roundtable, Sars, I know little, if anything, about baseball but this is just hysterical to read!
Oh how could I forget LaRussa?! I don’t even have a good reason for it, just haaaaate!
Sars, I don’t know why anyone who isn’t a Cardinals fan doesn’t hate Tony LaRussa. I’m a diehard Cardinals fan and I only like him about 60% of the time.
I HATED Chipper Jones. Though mostly when he used to tear through Cardinals pitching every time we played the Braves in the playoffs. I detested pretty much all of those peak-era Braves, though. Especially Andruw, and ESPECIALLY the year certain baseball writers started floating Andruw as a dark horse candidate for the MVP the first year Bonds was out and Pujols finally had a chance to win. I get that he had a lot of (mostly unrealized) potential, but he seemed to get a pass on the basis of that potential for far longer than most guys.
I also hate Dusty Baker and his stupid toothpick.
Here’s one of the many awesome pics.
http://tiny.cc/EAPy3
Schilling -n- Johnson; nothing irked me more than the Big Unit becoming a Yankee. The Atlanta Jones’: Chipper -n- Andruw, HATE. Pedroia’s face, his FACE! I hate that shape of face, that cut of nose, everything about it. Freakin’ 12-year-old smugmug Ellsbury, Kevin Youkilis: HATE. I once realized I hate all BoSox players with three-syllable last names even more than I hate the rest of the Sox.
Barry Bonds for his souped-up section of the clubhouse and his lazy butt not running for fly balls in the outfield. Clemens for saying Pettitte is a liar. McGwire for cowardice.
Oh, who was that short little scrappy shortstop for St. Louis? ECKSTEIN. Ugh, HATE.
I hate Milton Bradley SO MUCH. I didn’t like him before he came to the Cubs (why the hell did they ever sign him??), and I can’t stand him now. Although I hate his whining and blaming everyone else, what I really can’t get over is him throwing the ball into the stands with only two outs. WHAT THE HELL, MILTON BRADLEY. You are paid way too much to zone out during the game and make dumb-ass moves like that.
I also hate: A-Rod, Chipper Jones, Randy Johnson, and Mike Piazza. And Barry Bonds for being a dick to my mom when she asked for an autograph 16 years ago (apparently Bonds was shamed into giving her one in the end by Andres Galarraga, who was very nice and introduced her to his whole family).
Here’s another so you can get the full effect of his rippling jowls. HATE HIM!!!
http://tiny.cc/WOZqG
Ooh, I love this discussion!
Most of the players I hate are Yankees. @(other)jen I am so with you, Paul O’Neill and Chuck Knoblauch were the whiniest whiners to ever whine. Slightly related: I always thought Chuck looked like Danny Devito as The Penguin when he wound himself into that hideous batting stance.
I hate A-Rod. I’m a Seattle Mariners fan, so there you go. I was lucky enough to go to the very first game when he returned to Safeco after signing with Texas, and oh my god – it was the loudest, most hate-filled booing I have ever heard. So much fun.
I used to hate Giambi when he was in Oakland, but now I just think he’s kind of sad.
Curt Schilling really is a dick. I also hate him because he’s a Republican douche.
Roger Clemens – Really. You threw your WIFE under the bus during that whole steroids thing? Grade A asshole.
Who I hate most of all: Barry Bonds. Not because of all the controversies but just because he’s a dick. My personal experience: when the All-Star game was in Seattle, we got tickets to some of the events and went early to a couple to try for autographs during batting practice. Some players signed, some didn’t – whatever. Bonds pretty much ignored the fans, which was fine, until one point when he decided to taunt them as he ran down the steps into the dugout. He made like he was going to toss his bat to someone in the stands, but pulled it back at the last second and laughed at the fans, then disappeared into the locker room. It was pretty ugly.
Derek F’in Jeter. I don’t even have a logical reason for my intense hatred of Jeter (well, other than being a life-long Red Sox fan) – I just hate him and want to punch him in the mouth. I can’t even watch Sox/Yankees games because I get too pissed off at Jeter.
Also Johnny Damon and A-Rod, though not quite as much as Jeter.
And, of course, there’s Roger Clemens, who I’m contractually obligated to hate as a Sox fan. Though that’s more of a low-level thing, kind of like the way non-crazy religious people hate the devil – yea, he’s the ultimate evil and all, but he’s not really affecting my daily life as such.
As a Red Sox fan, I am contractually obligated to hate Derek Jeter, and I DO. I hate him so much that I can’t even get angry when Yankees fans hate on Varitek, because they serve exactly the same role on their respective teams: home-grown face of the franchise gamer who gets an outsize measure of adulation by virtue of appearing less douchey than his abhorrent and greedy teammates at any given time (Schilling, Ramirez, A-Rod, Sheffield, etc). My hate for Jeter isn’t RATIONAL. It’s just a SCIENTIFIC FACT. Anytime I see his smug Jeter face (ESPN highlights, unfortunate incident in which he was on an Avon flyer), my blood pressure goes up like ten points.
Also, I am supposed to hate Mo, but I, uh…I would bang that like a screen door in a hurricane. Especially when they cut to him in the hooded sweatshirt looking like a Zen master.
Bucky Fucking Dent and Aaron Fucking Boone. That Boone’s career swiftly died after that home run is of some consolation though.
I know he’s an easy target, but A Rod. That oansy-ass attempt to avboid getting tagged by slapping the ball out of Mientkiewicz’s hand sickened me. And he thought he could just charge at Varitek and not get a mitt ijn the face? Moron. And announcing his free agency during the last game of the ’07 World Series. Fucker stole our moment. Although that’s more Boras’ fault. I hate him too.
Sars,
I don’t know a lick about baseball so I can’t really comment on his hate worthiness, but the only reason I can’t hate Tony LaRussa is because he founded/runs a no-kill animal shelter in the SF Bay Area called ARF (Animal Rescue Foundation). We need more places like that in the world so I can’t hate on a guy for that.
Heh. Here is a link to the picture: http://tiny.cc/LEvm0. When the Cubs play the Sox, you can usually find at least one vendor who still has t-shirts with that picture on them that say, “Who says the Cubs can’t hit?” Also, a hilarious re-enactment done with Legos: http://www.bat-girl.com/archives/001504.php
Who do I hate? Prince Fucking Fielder, because it seems like every GD time he’s up to bat against the Cubs, his fat ass sends one out of the park. I’d like to say Pujols for the same reason, but his name just makes me laugh too hard.
The players I truly hate tend to be those who have crossed a line and done or said terrible things — the subspecies that includes John Rocker and Carl Everett. In my time, I’ve never hated a player more than I hated Albert Belle in his brief heyday. It wasn’t just the things he did (bullying Hannah Storm, knocking down Fernando Vina, smashing his own teammates’ belongings), it was that so many fans rallied around him and made excuses for him. If they had just said, “Look, he’s obviously a detestable bully, and I wouldn’t want to be within 500 feet of him. But his OPS is bliss sprinkled on an ice-cream bar, so unless he actually kills somebody, I want him to keep helping us win games until his degenerative hip turns him into a has-been in a few years,” I would have respected that. But they had to go so much further with the excuse-making and justifying. It was all the media’s fault. The media was out to get poor Albert. What was that stupid bitch Hannah Storm doing there anyway? She must have been doing something to annoy Albert, but we didn’t *hear* about that. Albert taking down Vina with a forearm to the face was an example of “playing the game with passion and intensity, the way it was meant to be played.” Albert isn’t a surly asshole; he’s just “complex” and “misunderstood.” Etc. Baseball fans everywhere, when you start sounding like an abused wife in a TV-movie, it’s time to take a step back.
Occasionally I go through periods of lower-grade hate for someone who’s unbelievably good at something and doesn’t play for my favorite AL or NL team, and when I watch a game with that player I get sick of hearing the worshipful commentary. The comments usually are deserved, but the petty side of me still wants the player to give up 10 runs, strike out four times, make multiple errors, etc. This is where I put the likes of Maddux (in the 1990s), Jeter, Rivera, Pujols, and too many others to list. But there’s more respect there than hate.
A-Rod used to be in the second category, the “he’s so good, and I’m sick of hearing about it, but I wish he were on my team” hate. But I really have come to dislike him for so many reasons: the starfucking, the bad acting in press conferences, the neediness, the calculation, the obsequious aping of Jeter’s mannerisms. It’s not about him signing with the Yankees, either. In the abstract, I should think, “This is one of the great athletes of my time,” but I can’t look at him without thinking about what a phony he is.
Lenny Dykstra. One of the first players I suspected of steroids. Also, a financial crook after he retired – even accused of stealing money from his own mother.
@Vicky: That’s classic.
@Anna: “I can’t even get angry when Yankees fans hate on Varitek” — that’s fortunate, because: HAAAAAATE. Hate his flat-top, hate his Brazilian-wax goatee, hate the nickname “‘Tek” (HATE IT), hate that he won’t just retire now that he can’t hit anymore because The Kids Need Him or whatever bullshit. Have some dignity. Hang it up. I HATE YOU.
(I’ve never heard anything but nice things about Varitek, actually, and he’s far from my most hated Sock the last couple of years, PAPELDROIA, but still: hate. Hatey hatey hate hate hate.)
@kitty: Fair enough. He’s a vegetarian, too, so he walks the walk. But the dad cap! Hate.