Baseball

“I wrote 63 songs this year. They’re all about Jeter.” Just kidding. The game we love, the players we hate, and more.

Culture and Criticism

From Norman Mailer to Wendy Pepper — everything on film, TV, books, music, and snacks (shut up, raisins), plus the Girls’ Bike Club.

Donors Choose and Contests

Helping public schools, winning prizes, sending a crazy lady in a tomato costume out in public.

Stories, True and Otherwise

Monologues, travelogues, fiction, and fart humor. And hens. Don’t forget the hens.

The Vine

The Tomato Nation advice column addresses your questions on etiquette, grammar, romance, and pet misbehavior. Ask The Readers about books or fashion today!

Home » Archive by Category

Articles in Culture and Criticism

Say Anything
February 20, 2001 – 12:08 PM | No Comment

How common is it to hear a person say, I myself do not object to this style of composition, or this or that expression, but, to such and such classes of people it will appear …

Be My Non-Valentine
February 19, 2001 – 3:08 PM | One Comment

February is a weird month. I like it because it’s short, but I like the shortness of it because I hate everything else about it. As a kid, I read somewhere that it’s the coldest …

Hip-ocracy
January 19, 2001 – 3:05 PM | No Comment

And now, a Tomato Nation first: the follow-up column. I have an unofficial policy regarding follow-up columns, namely that I never write them because, if I didn’t get the job done the first time around, …

War Is Not The Answer
January 19, 2001 – 2:52 PM | No Comment

It’s Martin Luther King Day today. I suspect that, when it rolls around each year, most of us don’t spend the day ruminating on Reverend King’s contributions to society or anything. We just look at …

Kulturreich
January 19, 2001 – 1:53 AM | One Comment

I made a couple of New Year’s resolutions this year. I don’t bother, ordinarily, since the average New Year’s resolution is pointless, unrealistic, and destined to go the way of the Edsel by Valentine’s Day, …

Death Is Not An Option
December 19, 2000 – 11:21 AM | No Comment

So the two of you get in the car at 8:47 in the morning for the ten-hour land-speed dash to Toronto. You’ve got coffee. You’ve got snacks. You’ve got maps. It’s snowing to beat the …

The Canon According To Tomato Nation, Part Four
November 19, 2000 – 11:43 AM | No Comment

It’s Monday again. I had a houseguest over the weekend, and while the houseguest rocked my world, the pile of work which I ignored in favor of houseguest fun times did not, and I have …

The Canon According To Tomato Nation, Part Three
November 19, 2000 – 1:41 AM | 2 Comments

It’s Monday. I slept poorly last night, partly because I ate a snack about an hour before going to bed and had utterly bizarre chocolate-fueled dreams involving Tom Skerritt and a merry-go-round as a result, …

4 Out Of 5 Doctors Agree
October 19, 2000 – 11:53 AM | One Comment

Nobody likes commercials. We might enjoy individual commercials, of course – the recent Volkswagen ad campaign, for example, or the “whaaaazzzaaaap” ads before the parodies got so played out – but on the whole, we …

In A Twist
August 19, 2000 – 12:50 PM | No Comment

I hired an intern recently – namely, my brother Mr. Stupidhead. It’s working out really well; not only can I send him out into the world to deal with obnoxious errands like going to (read: …