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Stories, True and Otherwise

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The Tomato Nation advice column addresses your questions on etiquette, grammar, romance, and pet misbehavior. Ask The Readers about books or fashion today!

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Articles in Stories, True and Otherwise

Product Break-Up: MAC metallic nailpolish
April 3, 2012 – 2:25 PM | 41 Comments
Product Break-Up: MAC metallic nailpolish

Number of hours it took for the mani to chip: 10. (Number of those hours I had spent sleeping: 7.) And it isn't just a bitty "caught the corner of a Diet Coke can tab …

Word Of The Day: "hargh"
March 18, 2012 – 10:32 AM | 2 Comments
Word Of The Day: "hargh"

From some of the same people who brought you "hew," a handy portmanteau of "hee" and "ew," comes this new coinage, compliments of the Couch Baron.
hargh.¬†interj. Combination of "hee" and "argh," used to express amused …

From the Platonic cave of amazing thank-you notes
March 16, 2012 – 10:42 AM | 11 Comments
From the Platonic cave of amazing thank-you notes

Yesterday, I received a delightful thank-you note in the mail from the White Russian, her partner Drummer, and their toddler for the holiday gifts I got her and the fam. Yes, the winter holidays. Yes, …

Nailed It: Shoe Vs. Poo
January 23, 2012 – 12:07 PM | 25 Comments
Nailed It: Shoe Vs. Poo

Okay, friends: I need your help. I just stepped dead in a post-snow, melty pile of dog crap. Fortunately, for once, I had on shoes with smooth soles — but 1) I usually don't (see: …

Word Of The Day: "tweedious"
January 2, 2012 – 6:08 PM | 25 Comments
Word Of The Day: "tweedious"

tweedious. adj. 1. portmanteau of "twee" and "tedious." 2. portmanteau of "tweet" and "tedious."
I assumed the first definition is the obvious one, but when I said the word aloud with no context, Wing defined it …

Word Of The Day: "slam-drunk"
December 13, 2011 – 4:57 PM | 6 Comments
Word Of The Day: "slam-drunk"

My initial definition for "slam-drunk" was as follows:
slam-drunk. n. A beverage guaranteed to give you a working buzz-on in a single serving. ("The Gibsons at Oyster Bar are a slam-drunk, man.")
But now I feel as …

Are We Penn State
November 12, 2011 – 9:33 AM | 80 Comments
Are We Penn State

Then it took a week and a half before the graduate assistant was asked to tell his story to Curley and Gary Schultz, who oversaw the Penn State University police department. And then, the grand …

Phrase Of The Day: "potaper cut"
November 10, 2011 – 8:24 PM | 7 Comments
Phrase Of The Day: "potaper cut"

potaper cut: n. A paper-cut-esque incision of the finger or knuckle caused by a very crisp potato chip. See also: "tuber-cuticle-osis."

Who Here Gave Their Lives
September 11, 2011 – 6:08 PM | 69 Comments
Who Here Gave Their Lives

Abraham Lincoln passed his last hours in a cramped back bedroom in a boardinghouse across the street from Ford's Theater, mercifully unconscious, folded awkwardly onto a bed too short for him, laboring to breathe. A …

Irene-y Days And Sundays Always Etc.: Hurricane Open Thread
August 26, 2011 – 9:59 PM | 124 Comments
Irene-y Days And Sundays Always Etc.: Hurricane Open Thread

I just spent an hour playing cards on our new backyard deck with Mr. S and Gen. All quiet on the Brooklyn front, except for one romantically desperate cricket who didn't get the memo. "Um: …