Baseball

“I wrote 63 songs this year. They’re all about Jeter.” Just kidding. The game we love, the players we hate, and more.

Culture and Criticism

From Norman Mailer to Wendy Pepper — everything on film, TV, books, music, and snacks (shut up, raisins), plus the Girls’ Bike Club.

Donors Choose and Contests

Helping public schools, winning prizes, sending a crazy lady in a tomato costume out in public.

Stories, True and Otherwise

Monologues, travelogues, fiction, and fart humor. And hens. Don’t forget the hens.

The Vine

The Tomato Nation advice column addresses your questions on etiquette, grammar, romance, and pet misbehavior. Ask The Readers about books or fashion today!

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Articles in Stories, True and Otherwise

Hobey, 1995-2014
March 28, 2014 – 3:04 PM | 213 Comments
Hobey, 1995-2014

One time, years ago, I started making a list of all the nicknames I had for the Hobe: Orangino. Hobey Wan. Clicks. Herr Mittenspiel. Grampy. Creamsicle. Tolstoy.

Prints: Not Charming
February 24, 2014 – 10:00 PM | 32 Comments
Prints: Not Charming

It’s not the pawprints themselves. …Well, it’s not JUST the pawprints themselves.

I Got Married. Yay!
November 21, 2013 – 3:59 PM | 176 Comments
I Got Married. Yay!

His name is Dan. He’s great.

Latin 5
September 11, 2013 – 8:29 AM | 46 Comments
Latin 5

I have a story in my head: Latin 5 must save a classmate who has been taken. Latin 5 does more than march through sanitized Catullus at this institution.

The Shoes, Part II
August 10, 2013 – 12:31 PM | 22 Comments
The Shoes, Part II

He put this to Kat, that the pranks of teenagers tended to reveal themselves. She came back with, Occam’s razor. The simplest explanation is the right one!

The Shoes, Part I
August 8, 2013 – 11:04 AM | 16 Comments
The Shoes, Part I

Mike knew, swore that the house wasn’t that cheap for no reason — come on, in Wellfleet? Kat said, of course it’s cheaper if you take it for the whole summer. You can’t get a …

Terms And Conditions May Apply
July 11, 2013 – 3:49 PM | 8 Comments
Terms And Conditions May Apply

Let’s go out to the lobby, and get ourselves a Couch Baron, again! John Ramos produced another fine film, Terms And Conditions May Apply, and I’m super-happy to plug this one, because 1) it’s a …

Happy birthday to me!
March 21, 2013 – 1:38 PM | 32 Comments
Happy birthday to me!

Okay, so I left Yahoo!, even though I had a great team/time there, because I had some other things I wanted to do, like work on The Blotter, and also, let’s be honest, curse freely …

Little Joe, 199?-2013
February 5, 2013 – 11:43 AM | 245 Comments
Little Joe, 199?-2013

Angels, prepare to receive among you my little friend. Please make him welcome with people food, especially Kix, because he likes to chase them, and lettuce, because I still don’t know why, but I know …

The Nause-AA After Hours: Ralph for the Roses
November 8, 2012 – 11:28 AM | 23 Comments
The Nause-AA After Hours: Ralph for the Roses

Update, 11/13/12: We have a winner! Taking home the grand prize is Kim with “hhooaarff”! Con…gratulations? Kim is joined on the podium by Elyse with “(HRRRRAAAAALLLFFFF)” and Maria with “SpeeYACK.” Well done, readers. I’ll contact …