21 Jump Street: "America, What A Town"
"Shut Up, Penhall" Count: 5
Accompanied by a David Coverdale-oid wailing, "YOU stole my WOOOORRRRLD," a guy takes about four days to steal a Mercury Sable under cover of night.Well, sort of.He's directly under a streetlight.Heaven forbid anyone on 21JS do anything subtly.
Cut to the Sable peeling into a garage after one Billy Jacoby opens the door.You may remember Jacoby — now going by "Billy Jayne" — as Mikey Randall on Parker Lewis Can't Lose, but Mr. Stupidhead and I know him best as Buddy from Just One of the Guys, specifically Buddy's "All balls itch!It's a fact!" monologue.Anyway, the thief cracks, "Fill 'er up — and then remove everything from under the hood," and then he and Billy/Mikey/Buddy chop the car.Just before 3 AM, they roll the stripped chassis out of the garage; the thief, Stevie, is about to take off, which gives Billy/Mikey/Buddy the opportunity to exposi-ask if Stevie's going to "leave grease like this" on the floor when they get their own place.Billy/Mikey/Buddy then hits the lights, runs outside, and rolls down the garage door to reveal that it's actually the Northside High School Body Shop.
Fade up on an airport, where we meet our B-plot for the week: Nadia, a Polish exchange student who is visiting America for a month thanks to a winning essay she wrote comparing the two political systems.Nadia is speaking with the local press (…whatever); her handler is interrupting her frequently; and her host family is standing nearby, Mom holding a welcome sign and Daughter complaining that this is "the total bummer of all time."Mom tries to convince Daughter that "this could be fun," but Daughter snarks that girls who win contests in school are not fun, "total Dork City," et cetera."Quiet, dear.We're doing this for America."Daughter: "I think I'll defect."Drink!A reporter asks whether the handler is going to watch Nadia every second, and as the handler explains that she'll have the complete American experience and the media shouldn't believe the propaganda about the controlling Polish government, Nadia looks down and schemes.Or wonders how to stop payment on that check to her accent coach.
Jump Street, where Hoffs is objecting to her next assignment: babysitting Nadia.Jenko tells her it's about cooperating with the State Department, which doesn't really answer her question re: why she has to do it.Nor does the ensuing novel-length unfunnologue from Penhall punning on the word "cooperate."Shut up, Penhall.Jenko says Hoffs only has to help Nadia "ease into" her first few days, and who knows, it might be fun; Hoffs, who is wearing a single playing-card earring, reluctantly agrees, "in the name of world peace."
Then it's time for new business: stolen cars.Aoki makes big-whoop noises, and Jenko PSAs about how auto theft is big business and the insurance companies shell out beaucoup bucks each year in phony claims.Hanson goes on a rant about his Mustang getting hit by "some uninsured doofus," they raised his rates, he has a perfect driving record but because he's under 25 blah blah; now and then Hanson yells, and when the camera cuts to Aoki and Hoffs, they wait a full two beats before flinching.
Thanks to the didactic writing and the editing courtesy of Frozen Molasses LLC, it's not even a little bit funny, but Jenko is amused regardless, and assigns Hanson to the case since he's so "passionate" about it.Hanson examines a photo of the junked Sable as Jenko says the investigating officers found a screwdriver rattling around in the undercarriage with "NHS" on it — Northside High School."The suits downtown" think there's a connection with Northside's shop program, because three other cars have gone missing in that vicinity recently."They got a huge shop over there," Aoki muses.Penhall snorts that "there's about eight million kids at that school."Eight million and one now, Jenko says — Hanson's joining the shop class.
Shop class.Mr. Landers tests Hanson with a question about a four-speed something or other; when Hanson has answered to his satisfaction, Landers gets everyone's attention — not to introduce Hanson, but to deliver a lecture about worker ants and queen bees and how the other advanced-shop students can't expect to "lunch on Wall Street," but they have an opportunity to become great mechanics and make their fortunes that way.Billy/Mikey/Buddy — whose character's name here is "Mark," so I'll call him that from now on — is rapt.He's also wearing a Batman shirt.(Drink.)Landers calls Stevie over and puts Hanson with his project group, then expositions that the fuel-injection unit is due tomorrow, followed by the final project that's half their grade.Stevie is on it.Landers tells Hanson to watch "Mark The Mechanic" because he's the best; then he asks Stevie if he's forgetting something.Stevie rolls his eyes, digs around very obviously in his pocket, pulls out what is very obviously cash, and slaps it very obviously into Landers's hand.
As they walk over to the project car, Hanson asks why he even has to go undercover if the purported criminals are going to be so blatant.Sorry, he actually asks what Landers's deal is; Stevie snarks that Landers is a "Zen master" of the garage arts.Meanwhile, the fragile genius that is Mark is having a tantrum about a recalcitrant part: "How can anyone understand what's going on inside these…computers?!"Hee.Also, drink.The problem, apparently, is that "nobody outside the factory" knows how to reprogram the fuel-management what's-it, so they don't see how the teacher expects them to work with it.Hanson wastes no time getting into entrapment mode, muttering that he knows a guy who can get them one for "a great price."I don't think I understand what good it does to steal a different one entirely if the issue is a factory code, but in any case, Stevie and Mark ask how much, Hanson pointedly says, "Free," Mark hammily notes that that would mean breaking the law, and Hanson shrugs.After a pause, Stevie tells Hanson to go for it.Hanson informs them that they're "analog men in a digital world."
Nadia bores a civics class with a Q-and-A on living conditions in Poland.Hoffs looks on while wearing earrings made from front-door knockers as Mr. Ramsey tries to get Nadia to talk shit about the Soviet bloc and Nadia explains that Poland is more or less pro-America.Nadia also shows up Mr. Ramsey on a point of congressional procedure.Host Family Daughter rolls her eyes.Word.After class, Hoffs makes forced conversation with Nadia, then suggests a group outing to the mall; she's shot down by Daughter, so Hoffs and Nadia go on their own.
Cut to Nadia, ensorcelled by retail profusion in the form of clothes, chocolates, and Nikes.She snots that "the bourgeois has been brainwashed" into thinking they need different sneakers for every activity, which you totally do, Nadia, you pinko.Hoffs, holding a pretty sweet old-school high-top, informs her that that's nothing — if you're Cybill Shepherd, you need a formal pair, too.Har.(Drink!)The montage of '80s excess continues, then segues into Nadia enthusing about "Bergen-GlÃ¤ss" ice cream (snerk), getting cruised by an ugly guy in fuglo leather-pointed jean jacket, wondering at an ATM.As the machine spits out a twenty, Nadia Warsaw-on-the-Mississippis, "I think I am going to like it here."
As the girls eat pizza, Fuglo Jacket slimes up, wanting to buy Nadia a drink.Hoffs tries to blow him off, but Nadia compliments his outerwear and lets herself get picked up.Hoffs is all, "Okay, 'bye'?"
At a car auction, Stevie and Mark harangue Ray "Little Carmine" Abruzzo about how they "really need" a certain car.Little Carmine tells them to relax, and there's some back-and-forth expositing that Stevie and Mark work for Little Carmine driving cars to an auction site.What looks like the Sable chassis gets rolled in, and bidding begins, Little Carmine doing the bidding for Stevie and Mark (presumably because they're underage — my God this plot is convoluted).Another guy is bidding them up, which pisses Mark off, and the bidding reaches $1500 before Stevie marches over and bribes the other guy to let them have the chassis.They win the car, and Stevie doesn't have all the money, which Little Carmine objects to, but Stevie points out that he had to pay the other guy to drop out, and Mark is all mad that maybe the other guy is a shill and the whole game is rigged, and…I still don't understand the scam here, honestly.They steal the cars, they chop the parts, they buy the chassis back at auction using Little Carmine as their of-age front, and then they…put the parts back in it and sell it?Do I just not have a criminal mind, or is that going around the block to get to the house next door?Anyway, Little Carmine says he'll take 20 percent of the sale price as payback, once the car is reassembled.Stevie and Mark object briefly, then assent, and I…don't get it, but let's move on.
Back at the NHS body shop, Mark is having a hissy at a kid named Vinny for installing a wiring harness incorrectly.Upon asking Stevie what gives, Hanson is told that he and Mark plan to go into business together: "I'm the front man, and he's the master mechanic."They've got a location scoped out and everything.Hanson says it takes a lot of money to run a business, and Stevie says, "You're telling me," then asks where Hanson's friend is with the black box.He's on his way, Hanson says.Moments later, enter Penhall, wearing an old Oldsmobile key as an earring and carrying a paper bag containing the black box."You forgot your luu-uuuunch," he sing-songs.Mark is duly impressed; Penhall unsubtles, "If you want anything with wheels still attached, you let me know."Maybe they got more restrained with that kind of thing as the series went on — I guess I'll find out — but based on what we've seen so far, it's a miracle the Jump Streeters don't get made as narcs, like, immediately.Hanson calls Penhall "Midnight Mike — the fastest man on the north side," which of course Stevie takes as a challenge.Penhall bets him $100 — "$200 on all domestics."
Stevie and Mark take off to install the black box, and Hanson and Penhall move to another part of the garage, Penhall looking over his shoulder and almost tiptoeing.Guys: under-cover.UNDER.Dang.Hanson suspects that the chassis in front of them is the same one that got boosted last week."And they're rebuilding it right in the middle of class?" Penhall asks."Pretty gutsy, huh?" Hanson is dubbed to say (he actually says "ballsy").Hanson's not sure it's the same car, but "it's a blue Mercury Sable." Penhall doesn't have the stolen car's VIN on him, so Hanson tells him the VIN on the chassis from memory and expects Penhall to memorize it."Comedy" results, during which a Kreskin "joke" is cracked (drink!) (shut up, Penhall), and then Landers kicks Penhall out.Hanson avails himself of the opportunity to ask where the frames come from and what becomes of the cars after they're rebuilt; Landers asks, "Who the heck are you, the FBI?"Hanson was "just wondering," but Landers tells him he's got a "secret benefactor," and to mind his knitting.
Elsewhere at school, Daughter is laughing that Nadia probably spent the evening at the library.Friend #1, wearing an all-chambray suit and leather string tie fastened with a giant silver pin, says nothing, possibly because she's trying not to cry from shame; Friend #2 spots Nadia arriving for school on the back of Fuglo Jacket's motorcycle.Nadia has undergone the predictable makeover from dowdily-attired bloc émigré to late-'80s rock tramp.Daughter stares in disbelief.Cut to…
…a pan up Nadia's high-heel-and-fishnet-shod legs, coming to rest on her leather jacket and teased-up hair.She's explaining that, in Poland, they don't have access to "the commercial hair products to do different hairstyles.It is no big deal."Mr. Ramsey wonders if she'd be allowed to dress like that at home."Oh yeah," Nadia lies, "but I'd have a heck of a time finding these pantyhose."So you don't know what a bank machine is, but you know the idiom "a heck of a time"?All righty then.Nadia talks some more about pre-Walesa customs — adults live with their parents, the government censors music — while the other students look horrified and Hoffs looks like she ate a bug.Mr. Ramsey begins class in earnest; Nadia exchanges looks with a smitten boy two rows behind her.
Nighttime.Penhall's car-stealing time trial begins as Hanson, Stevie, and Mark look on eagerly.Mark hits the stopwatch; Penhall "breaks into" a Beemer pre-rigged to let him get it started quickly, but pantses around a little to make it look good.Mark shows Stevie the stopwatch: "The new king."Stevie sulks, "Not bad," but Mark smirks, "He whipped your tail."Billy Jacoby actually says, "He whipped your ass."I know I keep pointing out these G-rated overdubs, but I just can't get over them."Tail," for the love of Pete.
Crammed into Hanson's car, Penhall drives and Hanson listens as Mark and Stevie outline their dream business: the garage will only service luxury cars, and the waiting room will feature leather couches, "only new magazines," and a picture window so the customers can watch them work.They've been mulling this plan since they were 12 years old.Hanson repeats that it takes a lot of dough, but Stevie assures him that they've got some "gigs going," and Mark explains that their desired location is in probate — they just need to put together enough money by July 1 and they can make "the winning bid."
Stevie then offers to jump Hanson and Penhall in on Little Carmine's auto-lot scam — they drive the cars to the lot, you make a few stops en route, and so on.Hanson once again runs down the penal code, snarking that he supposes Little Carmine runs the odometer back and puts new tires on and passes them off as new cars.Stevie shrugs, "You interested?"Hanson and Penhall are noncommittal.Then Hanson and Mark bond over what a swindle car insurance is.
Elsewhere, Nadia has gotten picked up by some bearded bozo who's…in insurance!Hi-laaaaarious!Nadia admits she doesn't drive, but she's always wanted to own an "au.toe.moe.beel" — specifically, a sportscar.Beardzo: "Have you ever been in a…Camaro?"Hee!Drink.Nadia snags the keys and heads off with Beardzo for a driving lesson in his Beardin' Camaro; focus push to Hoffs on a payphone in the back of the shot, reassuring Jenko that "I think she's calmin' down."Wah wah."At least she's through with that dude on the bike," Hoffs protests into the phone (and: for real), then says that no, she doesn't actually have a visual on Nadia at the moment…and won't, because when she looks around, Nadia has already disappeared in a puff of Jersey."I hate it when you're right," Hoffs groans, and takes off.
She rushes out the front door of the mall, just in time to see Nadia hitching and careening through the rainy parking lot in Beardzo's treasured ride, then squealing up the exit ramp.Hoffs throws her purse in frustration.
NHS Body Shop. Hanson and Penhall pick the lock on the door and break in — to find the place empty.Dun.
Jump Street.Aoki has found a listing for the Sable in the want ads; it's selling for 15K in "excellent condition."Penhall suspects the teacher, Mr. Landers, of pulling the strings; Aoki says he'd have to be, because where do they get the cars, 24-hour access to the shop, and buyers?Jenko recommends finding the Sable's seller, who's probably an adult connected to Stevie and Mark somehow.
Enter Hoffs to report that "we've got a maaaaajor problem" with Nadia: Hoffs can't keep up with her."You can't keep up with a 17-year-old tourist?" Jenko scoffs."Man, the Rolling Stones couldn't stay on tour with this girl!" Hoffs grumps.You know, I bet they could, but anyway, first Hoffs had to talk Nadia out of running off with some rock drummer (good advice, in my experience) (no offense, drummers), then she had to "yank her" away from two douches who were teaching Nadia to shoplift "records" (drink!), and now Nadia's disappeared with Beardzo, so unless Jenko wants Hoffs to blow her cover and "bag this girl," Hoffs needs some help."What was that girl's number again?" Penhall doofs.Shut up, Penhall.Aoki is appointed as Nadia's new fake minder, to take her on a nice quiet date to the movies.Hanson doesn't see why they can't just let Nadia do what she wants, but Hoffs thinks she'll get in a lot of trouble: "This is a wild child."Aoki says that, as an immigrant, he's "a bit of an expert on foreign affairs myself — I know exactly how to handle her."Barf.
Cut to Aoki and Nadia full-on frenching at the movies, which just is not legal.Hoffs, disgusted, sits in front of them with a tub of popcorn and whispers pointedly, "It's a good movie, huh guys?…Guys?…Guys!"Aoki suggests taking a break, so Nadia bolts for the concession stand to get snacks.Aoki leans forward: "Hoffs, she is amazing!I am forever in your debt!"Aoki, you are disgusting!She is SEVENTEEN!Hoffs hucks popcorn in Aoki's face.
At the concession stand, Nadia and an entertainment attorney sleaze on each other for a few minutes — Nadia at one point telling the guy to "cut the hustle" while eating his popcorn, like, the girl is about as convincingly Polish as Boar's Head cold cuts — and, when Nadia finds out "Bruce" drives a Porsche, she invites herself for a ride.Bruce, who is buying two of everything and is therefore likely on a date, leaves his box of snacks and drinks on the counter and ditches his date to give Nadia "a ride" "in" "his Porsche."Nearby, a stand-up cut-out of Clark Gable struggles not to hurl.
Jenko is posing as a prospective buyer for the Sable — or as an acid-casualty cowboy, complete with big black cowboy hat, tooled leather vest, and amped-up Texas accent — as Little Carmine bullshits that his wife's mother-in-law died and they had to sell the car.Uh, isn't his wife's mother-in-law his mother?Jenko admires the car, and thinks they have a deal, but would like to look at the registration; Little Carmine eagerly produces it, and oversells that he's heard stories "about people selling cars — they don't even own."Jenko seems to find the registration in order, but says he has to clear the purchase with the little woman.They shake hands again, and Jenko gets Little Carmine's last name wrong — it's actually "Delano," which is Stevie's last name.Dun?Little Carmine Little Carmines, "Thank you, Mr. Jenky."Heh.
Hanson drives while Penhall puts it together: Mario Delano (a.k.a. Little Carmine) is the legal owner of the car and is also the guy who uses Stevie and Mark to drive the stolen/chopped cars to the auctions. Little Carmine is apparently Stevie's older brother, and he sells the cars out of his driveway because "nobody likes used-car dealers."I feel like that's one of those cultural mores that…isn't, anymore, like it used to show up regularly in Carson monologues as something everyone understood, and now it's not a thing anymore (see also: the endless parade of stewardess/Dan jokes on Night Court).Penhall then recaps the scam again, which doesn't actually make it any less convoluted for the viewer; I've seen this episode twice now, and I can still barely follow the logic, but I think the idea is that, once they've bought the chassis at auction, they do own it legally, and since they already stole all the parts too, they just put them back in and sell the car — legally.
At the NHS Body Shop, a confused Landers is recapping the scam AGAIN, and I would ordinarily tell him to leave that to the professionals, but I didn't fully grasp the swindle until 33 minutes into the episode, so: have at it, Landsy.Instead of freaking out, Landers admires the creativity behind it: "Best class I ever had."Nonplussed, Hanson asks where they get the cars. Landers says that Little Carmine strips the cars and ships them over, and the class rebuilds them.Penhall has a physical-"comedy" bit where, about to ask a tough question, he puts his hand in some grease — not funny; shut up, Penhall's hand — but does get around to asking why Landers supposes Little Carmine is so generous.Landers shrugs that Little Carmine is a community leader who does it for tax purposes.Hanson asks about the money Stevie gave him; Landers claims Stevie "broke a tool, the klutz."Hanson warns him not to interfere with their investigation, and Landers sighs that "it's one thing to admire ingenuity; it's another thing to interfere with the character growth of my students."Hanson hoped he'd say that.
The Hansonmobile.Penhall expositions that Stevie and Mark only have to steal a few more cars before they'll have enough money to buy the garage building, and wonders what they do now — wait for them to boost another car and "hope we'll get invited along?"Hanson says they'll have to force the issue.
After a brief luxury-car-grille porn-tage, we see Aoki go into a Budget counter posing as an out-of-town high-roller and rent a Mercedes convertible.The counter lady makes sure he knows that they don't offer comprehensive insurance on the luxury vehicles, but his own insurance will cover him.Aoki says it's not a problem."Not unless it gets stolen," Counter Lady says, and Aoki looks scandalized for some reason.Does he…not remember he's undercover and it's not his problem?Wouldn't the PD handle that, since the whole point of renting the car is to get it stolen?
The thieves ease up beside the Benz on a nighttime street.Mark is practically salivating, while Stevie is reluctant; Penhall goobs that if they don't want it, he's got a date that weekend.
At Jump Street, Hoffs and her Rue McClanahan shoulder pads are getting their beads read for them by Nadia's handler, who ever heard of cops posing as kids this, "international incident" that, Nadia hasn't come home for 36 hours.Hoffs says that Jennifer someone-or-other (probably Daughter) and her friend didn't come home the night before either, and they're all probably "partying somewhere."So now Hoffs just doesn't give a shit?And how is that supposed to comfort the handler?
Cut to Nadia, the douchey attorney, and some other guys in a fountain, doing that fakey "OMIGOD THIS IS SOOOO FUNNY" doubled-over laughing because they're all…in a fountain?Simmer down, freshmen.A black-and-white pulls up and the cops order them out; Nadia gets out, steals one cop's hat, and gets back in, cackling like Bela Lugosi the entire time.
After the break, Nadia is in the cop shop, snarling at Hoffs for betraying her and talking about the secret police.Hoffs explains that she had a job to do, and asks if Nadia wants to talk about what's bothering her: "Five days, nine guys?"It's kind of uncool for Hoffs to go there, but none of the guys was even cute, so I'll allow it this time.Nadia says it's none of Hoffs's business; she's just enjoying herself as a real American teenager would.Eventually, though, she breaks down: she dreads going back to Poland, where "Communism bores the people to death."It does in this episode, anyway.Nadia's dreamed of coming to the States since age 12 — nice parallel with Mark and Stevie's dream garage, if it's intentional — and she wants to stay.Hoffs, being unrealistically obtuse, asks "why the ride in the fast lane" — is Nadia trying to cram a lifetime into four weeks?She just said as much, Hoffs.Pay attenti– oh, my mistake.It turns out that Nadia is "looking for a husband."Hoffs says that this is maaaaybe not the way to go about getting married.
Then Nadia asks if Hoffs has ever been in love.Yes, she has."Vere you farry much in luff vis him?" Nadia asks.Lord, that "accent.""Very much," Hoffs says."You are farry lucky," Nadia says, and starts crying.…Buh?I can't call myself an expert in late-'80s foreign policy, but did Soviet satellite countries not allow…boys? (Insert joke about East German women's swim team here.)
Cut to Aoki's car, where he's freaking out about Mark and Stevie chopping the rented Benz.Hanson and Penhall assure him that they'll put it back together better than before, they're that good.Aoki: But it's my insurance, guys! Penhall: "What'd you want us to do, go through channels?It would have taken three weeks; we would've ended up with a Plymouth."Well, that answers that, at least.Penhall adds that now Aoki can share the bust, but Aoki isn't convinced — and he's outright horrified when they spot the Benz, which is on fire.Aoki has a giant canary as Hanson tries to explain that, sometimes, the parts are worth more than the whole car, and Penhall bites his lip to keep from laughing.Dicks.Aoki chases them around the flaming wreck, yelling about high risk.
At Little Carmine's auto lot, Penhall and Hanson introduce themselves, and get bitched at for being late.Little Carmine explains the deal with the driving to the auction, and as soon as he's gotten specific, Aoki gets out of the car to arrest him…but not before Penhall gets to say, "You are busted," and add a Pee-Wee Herman laugh.Uch.Drink."Book 'im, Dano," Penhall adds.Shut UP, Penhall!
Hanson and Penhall head to the back to deal with Mark and Stevie, who proudly show the cops the contents of the box truck they're locking up: "A 560 SL, without the frame."Penhall encourages more bragging so they can make an arrest, and Mark is happy to oblige, saying that he chopped the Benz in just over three hours.Penhall asks if they plan to reassemble it, and Stevie confirms that "the parts are worth more than the whole."Apparently, that does it, because Hanson rubs his forehead and informs them that he has "some excruciatingly bad news for you guys.We're cops.You're under arrest."Stevie and Mark both break up laughing.No, really, Penhall says, and then allows more laughing and then time for their faces to fall, instead of telling them to get up against the truck and cuffing them already.Stevie and Mark could have run halfway to Chattanooga by now, but instead, upon seeing the badges, Stevie snarks that the PD is "a lousy way to make a living," and Mark accuses them of "ruining the dream, man."Then Stevie decides to add bribing a cop to his sheet by offering them ten grand.No deal.Then Stevie and Mark make a break for it.Penhall: "They're running?"Hanson: "They're running."Like I said: your fault, and how's about you run after them instead of doing shtick for six years?
A merry across-the-car-tops chase ensues, but when Stevie and Mark make it into open ground on the car lot, Stevie stops Mark and pants, "What are we doing?They know where we live."Heh.Hanson and Penhall catch up seconds later and haul them in.
Airport.Hoffs sees Nadia off; Nadia, holding a carnation, thanks Hoffs for everything she's done."I haven't done anything, Nadia.""That is exactly vat I mean."A nerdlinger in a Cosby sweater grins at Nadia from nearby, and Nadia smells the carnation and says that maybe they'll write each other."And maybe you'll come back one day?" Hoffs asks sadly."Maybe," Nadia agrees, just as sadly.It's only two years 'til the Berlin Wall comes down; it'll totally fly by, Nadia.(Spoiler!)They hug.Nadia takes one last wistful look around, and then heads for the plane so that we can see the GIANT American flag on her jean jacket.
Penhall presents Aoki with a check; they've sold off all the Benz parts to pay him back.And that's acceptable for a police officer…how?Aoki complains that it's still short, and Hanson rolls up to say that Jenko docked it six months'…something for going around procedure.So, but which…you know what, who cares.Some more PSA-ing about insurance coverage, and then Aoki, Hanson, and Penhall do that Smurfy three-way high-five/shooting-a-pigeon thing from the credits, and then, sweet merciful God, our tour of the seamy underbelly of underwriting is over.
Tags: 21 Jump Street bad accents Batman Bill Cosby Billy Jacoby bitchin' Camaro Clark Gable Cybill Shepherd David Coverdale dear '80s we get it love Sarah Johnny Carson Lech Walesa legally-sanctioned pedophilia Mr. Stupidhead Night Court Parker Lewis Can't Lose Pee-Wee Herman Ray Abruzzo Rue McClanahan shut up Penhall The Golden Girls the Rolling Stones The Sopranos TV