"Did I act wrong? Am I a bad son?"
I hesitate to wade into the Shellie Ross/Madison McGraw fray — in case you don't know the story, you can get the background here — but my boy MB at OMG! Ponies! posted an exquisite, sad piece over the weekend that addressed it. And "it" includes everything from the distribution of the weight of grief, to the judgment of strangers, to what "normal" is, to the role the internet plays in all of our lives.
I was posting dumb shit on the internet because I was sitting in an empty house with a man who wasn’t my father but still is something to me with the ghost of my mother hanging heavy in the air and I had to do shit like pack up a wall full of pictures that had been hanging on the same wall for two decades. Pictures that were of me and my dead brother and me and my dead mother.
OMG!P! is a rad regular read anyway, funny and acidic, but that bit above put me on my ass. Rich, direct, rings like a bell.
My grandmother died in 1992. She was my best place. You might know what I mean by that and you might not; if the internet had existed back then, I would have written — that. I might even have Tweeted it. After a loss, you do and say the things you can, "dumb shit on the internet" or not, because of all the things that can no longer be done and that words can't make adequately known. It seems to me that if we're going to judge that kind of thing — and we're going to; it's human nature — we have to remember also that there is a wall of pictures somewhere near that thing that we don't see and have no right to expect a description of.
Minor chord for holiday-time; I apologize, but welcome your thoughts.
Tags: friends grand Grandma Madison McGraw news OMG! Ponies! Shellie Ross sites writing