“If PBS Had A Movie-Awards Gala…”

A star-studded, faintly mothball-scented evening of battles and ball gowns, the Hissies — hosted by Doris Kearns Goodwin, who will allegedly write her own material — celebrate the epic stories of celluloid across a variety of categories, including Best Performance By A Hitler, Best Supporting Brigadier General, Best Somber Narration Accompanying Footage Of The Hindenburg, Achievement In Cross-Documentary Repurposing Of Grainy Black-And-White Footage, and the Hunter S. Thompson Prize For Outstanding Synthesis Of Historical Events And Overwrought Drug-Culture Paranoia, presented this year to Oliver Stone.

Thanks to Skyrockets for the Goodwin joke.

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