Duh: because then we wouldn't have time for completely misinterpreted interpretive score dances featuring the robot for movies with no robots in it, Miley Cyrus and the kids from Twilight, or "homages" or whatever to horror movies (btw, since when is Young Frankenstein an actual horror movie? Um… what? Also, Edward Scissorhands? And Beetlejuice and The Sixth Sense are borderline IMO. Shut up, Oscars). I must have been really bored to have sat through all (most) of that…

I mean, that show had Hugh Jackman being awesome constantly, the great decision to have legendary actors introduce the thrilled and humbled nominees, and Heath Ledger's family accepting his award while I sobbed into my prosecco. I felt like that show was full of great moments, and everything seemed to work.

This year, I felt like almost nothing worked. Martin and Baldwin appeared to be trying out their material for the very first time, just reading straight from the teleprompter, and missing all the punchlines. Not that the punchlines were funny to begin with. The NPH thing felt gratutitous and desperate and again not funny. Then it just felt like Ben Stiller – stop talking, dancers – go home, Young Hollywood – whatever.

I did like the presentation to the Best Actor/Actress by someone who knows them, but why not do the same for Supporting or Directing?

My theory is that she won for the same reasons Reese Witherspoon did. Both have been primarily known for lightweight, "rom-com" / "chick flick" style movies, so when they stepped out of their boxes and showed that they actually can act in a serious movie (both playing real life strong women to boot), the Academy was so shocked they immediately thought "Best Actress."

Whereas everybody already knew, and always has known, that Meryl Streep has major chops, so even when she's brilliant she's handicapped by her own talent … it's perceived as just the "same old, same old" and therefore she doesn't elicit any significant support. After all, this is the 14th time she's been nominated and NOT won, as Steve Martin so kindly pointed out.

And as fantastic as Gabourey Sidibe was, what were the odds the Academy was going to give it to a literal newcomer who hasn't paid her dues? A supporting trophy sure, but not THE acting award.

NPH can do no wrong. Period.

The other thing that REALLY annoyed me during the telecast-did you notice how everytime Precious was mentioned, they just started focusing the camera on random African Americans in the audience whether they were involved in the movie or not? Like-oh this film is about black people, so find Morgan Freeman! And Samuel L Jackson! Wait, did we forget to invite Jennifer Hudson?

Google "Sully surname" and be surprised.