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Home » Culture and Criticism

The NC Double Shot Round of 32, Flight 1

Submitted by on May 27, 2011 – 1:36 PM26 Comments

Today's write-ups by Keckler. Confused? Click here. Don't know the ingredients? Try Google.

1 Bloody Mary vs. 8 Black / White Russians. Okay, as gross as the Russians sound to me, even worse is the cocktail before it in Herbst's bar guide. Check this out: the Black Magic has vodka, Kahlua, and LEMON JUICE. KAHLUA and LEMON JUICE! Who does that? Meanwhile, the Bloody Mary is a great drink, and one that takes very well to experimentation. In San Francisco, Zuni Cafe uses house-infused pepper vodka and adds minced shallots and balsamic vinegar with a straw, and some joint in Minnesota swaps out stringy celery for a Slim Jim. (Aw, RIP Macho Man.) What I'm saying is, the Bloody Mary is hemorrhaging with possibilities, and the Russians — though hemophiliacs — are not.

1 Bloody Mary vs. 8 Black / White Russian

  • Bloody Mary (54%, 339 Votes)
  • Black / White Russians (46%, 289 Votes)

Total Voters: 628

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5 Cape Cod vs. 4 Amaretto Sour. I just don't get the Amaretto Sour. I mean, almonds and sour mix? It's like…spreading marmalade on marzipan? Yeeesh. However, a lot of you like it (as does Mathra, apparently), and there just might be enough of you to push it through to the next round. However, I don't think you should overlook the medicinal values of a cranberry-juice-based cocktail, which, by the way, has apparently had more names than Prince. I'm voting with the bogs, but if you go for the nut-scented acid reflux, chase it with a shot of Pepto and creme de menthe.

5 Cape Cod vs. 4 Amaretto Sour

  • Cape Cod (75%, 475 Votes)
  • Amaretto Sour (25%, 155 Votes)

Total Voters: 630

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6 Bellini vs. 3 Bacardi Cocktail / Rum Punch. Ah, Bellinis. Thank god I got over my peach hate before I encountered my first brunch Bellini. Now I love them so much, I get annoyed when the only option offered is a orange-juice-stuffed Mimosa. Although, considering all the fruit or fruit-like things in a Rum Punch, it might be a viable brunch option, too. I don't know. ["That's affirmative." — Bunting] We ranked Rum Punch high, maybe too high? I wouldn't be shocked if Bellini snagged this.

6 Bellini vs. 3 Bacardi Cocktail / Rum Punch

  • Bellini (69%, 435 Votes)
  • Bacardi Cocktail / Rum Punch (31%, 192 Votes)

Total Voters: 627

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7 Champagne Cocktail vs. 2 [X] and Soda / Wine Spritzer. Thank you to everyone who told me that Blast from the Past is apparently blame for me thinking the Champagne Cocktail is a hooker's drink. I wonder what Victor Laszlo thinks of that. Still, whatever its sordid history, the bitters-soaked sugar cube alone is way more interesting than the [insert alcohol here] and soda, and I kind of think it could pull an upset here. But if I read Bunting right, I'm grossly undervaluing the power of all those sparkling wine hangovers out there.

7 Champagne Cocktail vs. 2 [X] and Soda / Wine Spritzer

  • Champagne Cocktail (52%, 317 Votes)
  • [X] and Soda / Wine Spritzer (48%, 297 Votes)

Total Voters: 614

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1 Gin and Tonic vs. 9 Hot Toddy. These are the two cocktails my household consumes the most of — "of which my household consumes the most"? …We drink a lot of these. Both. Large amounts. More than other drinks. (I swear I'm not drinking right now.) Basically, I see this as a very close race, but G 'n' Ts will take it, because you can enjoy them all year. No one wants to wrap their hand around a sweltering hot toddy in 90° heat unless they enjoy sweating bourbon and honey.

1 Gin and Tonic vs. 9 Hot Toddy

View Results

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5 Daiquiri vs. 4 Frootinis. This could pit the rum lovers against the vodka hounds, and since vodka is what you choose when you don't want to taste anything ["that's so odd, too, because I always can taste it, and that's not a good thing" — Bunting], I think there's more of them. Plus, Frootinis are more versatile, what with all the choices out there in the fruit kingdom. They'll win. However, if anyone ever tries to give me a figtini, I will be required to vomit in it.

5 Daiquiri vs. 4 Frootini

  • Daiquiri (66%, 415 Votes)
  • Frootini (34%, 212 Votes)

Total Voters: 627

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6 Dark and Stormy vs. 3 Cuba Libre / Rum and Coke. I'm really sad to say this, but I think my Dark and Stormy is going down here. The voters could still surprise me, but it's hard to beat caffeinated alcohol. ["It's even harder to beat the pause that refreshes, and it's one of those drinks you order because it's easy to make and hard to up-fuck. I think it wins." — Bunting]

6 Dark and Stormy vs. 3 Cuba Libre / Rum and Coke

  • Cuba Libre / Rum and Coke (64%, 393 Votes)
  • Dark and Stormy (36%, 223 Votes)

Total Voters: 616

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7 Gimlet vs. 2 Cosmopolitan. It didn't take much for the Gimlet to beat the mug of hot oil slick, but facing down the Cosmo is probably where its luck runs out.

7 Gimlet vs. 2 Cosmopolitan

  • Cosmopolitan (56%, 348 Votes)
  • Gimlet (44%, 272 Votes)

Total Voters: 620

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26 Comments »

  • Trasherati says:

    Between the Daiquiri and the Frootini (hee!), I choose death.

  • The 3 vs. 6 match-up was a Sophie's Choice for me. They're my two favourite drinks! I actually flipped a coin for it. It told me to vote for the Dark & Stormy, but I suspect the Cuba Libre will take it. Delicious either way.

  • Carrie Ann says:

    Hell yes, Gimlet!

    I think the Bloody Mary might go down because of a hatred for Tomato Juice or a hatred for savory beverages in general. Ick.

  • attica says:

    I really hate tomato juice, so I had to vote agin' the B-Mare. Even though I support it conceptually, I can never choke one down. But I'm not that enamored of the Russkies, so I will be neither surprised nor upset when Mary comes home.

    I am also a die-hard rum person; there are very few vodka drinks that are not instantly improved by its replacement. Not none, few.

  • hank says:

    The Black Magic just gave me flashbacks of rookie initiation where we were punished with Cement Mixers (equal parts Bailey's and lime juice).

  • Sarah D. Bunting says:

    Hang in there, Gimlet.

  • Ditto on the gimlet love. Delicious, refreshing, and not foofy.

  • Mimi says:

    I don't really drink white russians now, but I've got sentimental ties to them from college senior year. On the other hand, as much as I like tomato juice/bloody mary mix, I become less of a fan when vodka gets added. Russians all the way!

  • Anlyn says:

    My very first grown-up drink was a screwdriver. Because of that, I thought all alcohol was disgusting. It wasn't until I had my first rum and coke that I realized I could like alcohol. And it wasn't until I had my first Cosmo that I realized I really, really loathe vodka. I suspect Cosmopolitan will take it in the end, but I really hope one of the rum drinks wins instead.

    Oh, and the best drink I ever had? Bacardi rum, Hot Damn cinnamon schnapps, and apple juice, served hot. Best apple cider, ever.

  • Judy says:

    I never thought I'd have a Sophie's Choice moment when it came to alcoholic beverages, until I read the words Gimlet vs. Cosmo… Best drink I ever had was a cucumber gimlet at a foo-foo tapas place in San Francisco which has since closed…

    (and while that gimlet remains the best drink ever, thanks to a most awesome bartender, a long island iced tea has come up a close second as the best possible drink for the situation when that situation is your friends getting you drunk after you just found out your boyfriend whom you hoped to marry was in fact, already married.)

  • Sarah D. Bunting says:

    cucumber gimlet

    It's hottish in Brooklyn today, I don't have the window ACs in, and I've spent most of the day moving furniture and hucking books (post-renovation re-arrangement fun times), and I came to my laptop all sticky and dusty and saw the phrase "cucumber gimlet" and I TEARED UP. Want.

  • Cassie says:

    Sars, THANK you. I thought I was the only one who could taste vodka when it's added into things.

    I also am a baby and cannot drink most creme-liquors (Bailey's, Kahlua, etc) cold, the way the recommend it. It has to be warm, not hot, otherwise it tastes like I'm drinking a big glass of choco-hairspray. Bleh.

    /end rambles

  • Sarah D. Bunting says:

    I should say in vodka's defense that I don't entirely hate it, and when I do, it's a flashback to the cheap-shit brand we drank in college that was made in Edison, NJ, which is not how God intended it to be made. But Russian vodka, FROM Russia, the kind there's a bottle of at every place setting at a Russian wedding? That, you can understand how people drink it straight, by the pint.

  • Jessamyn says:

    I hate cola, so the only time I tried a rum & coke I thought it was a dreadful waste of rum. Ginger ale, on the other hand, makes me feel like a ten-year-old with stomach flu (not an entirely unpleasant sensation, actually, if you also like Saltines and comic books and a sense of getting away with something)…all of which is to say I've only recently begun to appreciate Dark and Stormies without getting that association, especially when made with properly sharp ginger beer.

  • K. says:

    Dark and Stormy vs. rum and coke? Fuck, man. I could really leave that to a coin toss – I love both.

    @Sars: I went to a wedding a few years ago where the bride was first-generation Russian-American and her parents insisted that each table have "real vodka" and would side-eye anyone who mixed it. WOW. I like vodka but didn't really see what the fuss was about … until. Damn, that some good.

    My grandmother, whose father was from Trinidad, makes bomb-ass rum punch. I had to vote for it on that basis, although I quite like bellinis (I love peaches and peach-flavored things).

  • Meri says:

    It's so nice to know I'm not the only one who hates tomato juice. I know the Bloody Mary will win in the end (it's iconic for a reason) but I don't have to like it.

  • Kelly says:

    Gin.

    Blech.

    Nyagh.

    I wonder if a dislike of gin is tied to a like of vodka (or vice versa)? (Gin tastes like pine sol to me. It.is.awful.)However, because apparently moving furniture and books around is an epidemic this very hot East Coast evening, the thought of a cucumber mojito is enough to make me cry… and think about walking to the liquor store.

  • Jeanne says:

    I so need to crash a Russian wedding, I love vodka more than is probably healthy.

  • Maria says:

    I've never understood the idea that vodka has no flavor or odor. I was a vodka drinker in my day, too. Good stuff, bad stuff, should-be-outlawed stuff (Hello, 2 hours hugging the beautiful, cold porcelain in the dorm ladies' room after 9 shots of Popov in 45 minutes) – I could taste all of them.

    Gin is rubbing alcohol and I don't understand how people tolerate it, let alone love it. Hide it in a Long Island Iced Tea and it'll still makes me choke.

    Lastly, "chase it with a shot of Pepto and creme de menthe" is exactly the chuckle I needed tonight.

  • Ellen says:

    Sars, in addition to the cucumber gimlet, I also recommend the deliciousness that is a cucumber collins. I had one recently with some muddled basil leaves in the bottom of the glass, and I loved it so much I almost wept.

  • Juju says:

    Vodka haters: Life is too short to drink cheap booze. Get the real stuff made from spuds. Monopolowa über alles. If I stick with that and non-cloudy beers, no hangover for me.

  • Rachel says:

    If you run shitty vodka through a Brita filter 5 or 6 times, you have slightly-less-shitty vodka when you're done. I would say that it causes you to feel 0.02% less suicidal when your hangover hits. This information may not help you *now* but if someone ever invents a time machine, you can go back and tell your high-school/college self this. Because of course that's the best use of a time machine.

    ANYWAY, the Bloody vs. Russians matchup made me sad because I love both of them like children. White Russians doubled as breakfast some days (there's milk in it! Milk is good for children!) and the Bloody is just about the best hangover-putter-offer out there. Yay, tomato juice!

  • DuchessKitty says:

    Damn! Why did my beloved Hot Toddy have to go up against the G&T? Booooo!
    I also had a hard time choosing between the Dark & Stormy and the Cuba Libre.

    [small voice] That Black Magic cocktail actually sounds good to me…sorry Keckler.[/small voice]

  • Alexis says:

    The Dark And Stormy vs Rum and Coke was a difficult choice for me too. A really good D&S kicks ass, but a non-good one is pretty terrible, and a rum & coke is tasty and hard to screw up.

  • Heather C. says:

    Had a lychee cosmopolitan on Saturday evening, and it was the shiznit! I also have a soft spot for cosmos, since my youngest sister-in-law had 5 at my wedding (when she was 18), and it got her doing things like the Moonwalk and getting sick because of windshield wipers. We still tease her about it 9 years later. Ah, the memories.

  • Sarah D. Bunting says:

    If you run shitty vodka through a Brita filter 5 or 6 times

    If I had a nickel…

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