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Home » Culture and Criticism

TV Question Qorner: James and the Giant Beeyatches, with special guest Miss Alli

Submitted by on March 15, 2010 – 7:41 PM34 Comments

SURVIVOR: CHINA

Sarah: So you’re not really watching Survivor this season?

Alli: I have seen some of it. But you have to understand how deep my dislike of Russell and Rupert really goes.

Sarah: RUPERT.

Alli: I just…why would I want a THIRD SEASON?

Sarah: And that he’s a Hero…I just don’t understand.

Alli: I think the Heroes are just the people whose action figures are on Jeff Probst’s bookcase.

Sarah: In Rupert’s case, I can see why some people would like him. I find him disingenuous, disproportionately pleased with himself, etc. and so on, but I can see why he has appeal. I don’t approve, but I can see it. Russell, I don’t get.

Alli: They’re just determined to insist that he’s extremely good at Survivor, when he has shown no ability, thus far, to do anything except convince people he’s a great person to sit opposite on a jury.

Sarah: Who, Russell? Yeah, I agree. Didn’t we hear from somewhere that production more or less led him to the immunity idol last season because there was just nothing else going on? And getting to final two/three does not convince me that you’re good at the game. It means, often, that you’re a big enough dick that taking you to the jury is a slam-dunk.

Alli: I don’t remember the details of the idol story. But I did hear from Jonathan Penner that that’s the spot on “H v. V” that he was originally perhaps going to get. Which is the worst trade since…ever. If that had gone the other way, I’d be watching.

Sarah: I don’t enjoy production’s attempts to convince me that things are a certain way when they clearly aren’t. Russell is not a feared villain. He’s a guy who successfully manipulated one of the dumber lots of contestants in game history, which is why I bailed halfway through last season. He was getting the victory edit, and I was like, “Ew. Bye.”

Alli: He’s also a big baby. Rob Mariano may not be a genius and may not have gotten himself to the promised land, but at least he has A GLIMMER of a sense of humor about himself, which Russell does not.

Sarah: He doesn’t act like it’s actual warfare. (…Coach. Who is still hilaaaaaarious.)

Alli: I did watch the premiere, and when they were, like, intimating that Jerri and Coach were going to do it, I didn’t know whether to throw up, laugh hysterically, or make a bowl of popcorn.

Sarah: I went with those last two.

Alli: Man, I could have watched Coach again, but Tyson, who’s just there to make comments to camera that they can use for “Can you believe he just said that?” value? No thanks.

Sarah: I like Jerri, so I was hoping that wouldn’t happen, because Doing It with Coach is one thing, but then if you have to live with him for weeks afterwards? …Yeah, Tyson’s a strange case. Every episode, I forget that I think he’s a douche, and then at around minute 21, he says something that I’m like, “…Ah yes, right.” He’s funny; he’s not as funny as he thinks.

Alli: I just think Tyson never does anything interesting except say stupid things that are designed to get on camera, which is sort of my whole problem with All-Star seasons in the first place.

Sarah: What I don’t like is that they never seem to learn anything. That they booted Cirie so early was amazing to me; they never catch their snaps with that shit. But then the very next week, James is allowed to survive.

Alli: …James.

Sarah: Fucking James!

Alli: That is another guy I just could not bear to watch again.

Sarah: What goes into the Kool-Aid with that guy?

Alli: He’s huge. He has huge arms. That’s about it.

Sarah: This is the thing! What good has that demonstrably done them, ever? Because, leaving aside that he’s dumb, that he’s socially tone-deaf, that he’s weirdly aggressive this season…did that gym-strength body ever really do him or his teams that much good? How long has he historically lasted?

Alli: Sort of middle. Pure strength is a wildly overrated skill. Go back to Palau, where the team with all the strong young dudes lost every…single…week and was whittled down to just Stephenie, when the only person booted from the other tribe went during a “both tribes boot somebody” week.

Sarah: I mean, the boot last week was ridiculous anyway, since James is currently INJURED, but even if he weren’t…when Probst was like, my niece could beat you in a foot race, I remember thinking, “And I can beat him on just about everything else,” because the challenges do not require bicep curls. They require weird interval-training combos. I’m not in the best shape, but I have spinster strength because I live alone and have to do shit by myself. And that is, I think, more effective in Survivor-type challenges than “I can bench 300.”

Alli: Generally, what it takes to be challenge-dominant is a balance of lots of things. Ozzy, Colby, Rob Mariano — these are guys who are strong, but they’re not JUST strong. People forget the challenge where Mariano went scrabbling across a bunch of wooden beams like a monkey. That is a very, very agile mook.

Sarah: And those are not dumb guys, either. I feel like James’s ability to juggle all the aspects of gameplay mentally is…weak.

Alli: Well, like Russell, he doesn’t have a good idea how he comes across to people. Probst loves him, so he doesn’t get that he comes off like a condescending ass a lot of the time.

Sarah: That could also be cause, versus effect. Probst’s favorites tend to get A Tone after a while.

Alli: That’s very true. I can’t remember whether James was less lecture-y before Probst canonized him, but he may have been.

Sarah: I always disliked Rupert, but in his initial season, he was not as snotty. Once he got the fan money, though: all ass, all the time.

Alli: Oh, I know. Like the lecturing of Jenna Morasca for going home to be with her dying mother. When he went all disappointed head-shaking.

Sarah: I think Probst would be happier if girls didn’t fuck up the game with their weak arms and crying and shit.

Alli: Well, more and more, that’s why I can’t watch the show. Probst takes a larger and larger role, and he’s more and more of a giant sexist every season.

Sarah: And I don’t like her either, but: it’s not pronounced “Poverty.” I don’t understand how she gets by with her shtick either, but she does; Probst just can’t live with it. He would delete “Outwit” if he could. Knocks half the women out.

russell-hantz-survivorAlli: Well, and once I started reading that bullshit blog he writes in EW? Where he expounds more on how, if they admit it, everyone loves Russell? It just made it worse. I kind of lost all respect for him.

Sarah: That blog reveals more about Probst than he thinks it does. I sort of enjoyed him snapping at Colby that they’ll start when Probst is ready, but then his defense of it annoyed me.

Alli: It’s just…Jeff has given himself over to the side of himself that cares about Survivor in the wrong way. Like, he can’t see “game show” anymore. He sees “battle to reveal the hearts of man.”

Sarah: Also: too attached to the honor concept. Not how the game is designed, GUY WHO IS THE HOST FOR TEN YEARS NOW.

Alli: Yeah, I just can’t stand him anymore. I’m just…maybe tired of the whole thing? At one time, I would never have skipped that show, but I find now, hearing about it mostly third-hand, I just don’t miss it. The people they have back for the third time are, with the exception of Boston Rob, just EXACTLY people I didn’t need to see again, and I just can’t…I mean, Parvati again? James again? Russell and Rupert again? AMANDA again? So she can do what, blow ANOTHER jury speech?

Sarah: I know intellectually that some of the people they asked turned them down, but this group is pretty weak, and kind of sad. I mean, Candice? In the who?

Alli: And how is she a hero? She was ousted by the most lovable alliance in history.

Sarah: I guess the definition of “hero” here means “not villain.” Although I don’t see how Coach is a villain, either. A deluded pest, okay. …What do I know, I love Mariano like he’s my child.

Alli: Oh, man. Me too. That guy twirled me once. It was intoxicating. I hated myself.

Sarah: The only thing I don’t like about him at this point, honestly, is that he married Amber. And even she isn’t that bad. I just thought he could do better.

Alli: No, I agree. I mean, you wouldn’t REALLY like him, as a guy to be friends with, I don’t think. But on Survivor, I wish he were on every season.

Sarah: Totally. Not sure we’d have much to talk about once my reservoir of Red Sox shit-talk is drained.

Alli: Well, there are no “villains.” What would make you a villain? There are basically good players, bad players, and babies. The closest I can find to villains are always just people who act like babies. …LEX.

Sarah: The show’s definition of “villain” seems to be players with a higher proportion of ruthlessness, but I wouldn’t call that villainous. Jerri is not what I would call a sweetheart, but “plainspoken” is not “villainous.” And neither is Russell, since villainy is distinguished at least in part by actually working.

Alli: Russell is all talk. Seriously, other than finding idols, that dude is all talk. Or he was last season, anyway.

Sarah: If he’s the best casting can do at this point, I’m probably quitting after this season.

Alli: That’s what I mean. I just got to the point where it would be on the DVR, and I would just…not watch it, and then it would be gone, and I’d find I didn’t care.

Sarah: It’s disheartening when a show’s idea of what’s going on is completely different from the viewer’s. This is why I gave up on Shear Genius, in a way.

Alli: Oh, maaaaan. Shear Genius! I caught up on that yesterday, I am embarrassed to say.

Sarah: The concept of that show is great, but the judging diverges completely from not only what I think of the hair, but also what I think is funny or relevant.

Alli: Yeah, the judging/hosting is absolutely terrible, with the exception of Antin, who was BORN to be a reality-show judge. But when people do terrible, terrible hair, somehow I am helpless not to be entertained.

Sarah: Also hard to resist: the avant-garde challenge requirements vs. the client who’s like, “Straight blow-out, THAT’S IT.”

Alli: Yeah, there are these girls who are like, “I really don’t want it cut much.” You came to the right show, then!

Sarah: But that’s never the focus of the challenge, which it totally could be; I’d be interested in how they judge that part of the job. But they’re very inconsistent with how much “client satisfaction” actually counts. Also, I HATE Kim Vo.

Alli: Yes. Agreed. And the host? I’m sorry, but when, excitement-wise, I can honestly say, “You’re no Jaclyn Smith,” you have a problem.

Sarah: Did we learn nothing from Katie Lee Joel? Being Mrs. McConaughey is not enough. (I think that’s Alves’s primary “qualification.”)

Kari Ann PenicheAlli: I was wondering what that qualification might be.

Sarah: “Tolerates bongos.” You’re hired!

Alli: Seriously, anyone who has ever been on America’s Next Top Model would be better.

Sarah: Well. Not Jade. But whoever called Lisa an alcuh-holl-eek beetch would be awesome, AND THAT REMINDS ME.

Alli: Ha ha ha!

Sarah: …GET A JOB, JEN ON SOBER HOUSE! (Not this one! You suck at it!) (Alli, please tell me you watched CR/are watching SH.)

Alli: I watched CR; I have not yet watched the first SH, but I totally will. It’s still Jen? Yeah, we knew last year she wasn’t cut out for it. I was super-surprised that Dennis Rodman was like, “I guess I’m an alcoholic.” I still don’t get that guy.

Sarah: I do not get that guy, I do not get why Jen is thrown in to this situation when she can’t handle it, and I do not get AT ALL why Kari Ann Peniche is still alive. How has someone not ripped her skaggy extensions out and strangled her with them? Because ain’t a court in the land, etc.

Alli: I really do not get her, either. I don’t get why it’s not the right thing, at some point, to say to her, “Apparently, you are not ready for this. Come back when you are ready.” Because she CONSTANTLY treats the entire, whatever, “process” like shit. I would be really upset if I were somebody who had followed the rules the whole time.

Sarah: And it’s not like she’s getting anything out of it if she’s allowed to crap all over it.

Alli: I mean, at some point, if she’s not willing, she’s not willing. How much pain she’s in is not the point.

Sarah: The way Dr. Drew speaks to her is way off, too. His emotional involvement with her case is…I don’t know. He seems REALLY upset when she’s about to leave, and oblivious to how over it his staff is with her. I like him, but I’m grossed out by how much leeway he gives her; it’s weird, and it’s disrespectful to the ones who have to drag Princess from pillar to post every day when he’s not there.

Alli: I think he’s become convinced that she’s testing everybody, and he thinks that if you just don’t rise to it, she’ll eventually stop if you just ignore the acting out. Which I understand…up to a point.

Sarah: Right. But you have to ignore it, in fact. Pleading with her to stay and bending every rule for her comfort isn’t ignoring it. It’s showing her exactly what she can get away with, and allowing it — which, in addition to pushing my apple-polisher buttons, is not indicated therapeutically. “…She says, because watching CR qualifies her to make these diagnoses.”

Alli: Ha! No, I basically agree with you. I think Kari Ann should have been sent home, again, a couple of times this season.

Sarah: I look forward to your reaction to the SH premiere, then. Seventeenth verse, same as the others.

Alli: Did Mindy McCready ever decide there was anything wrong with her other than being addicted to having people not be nice to her?

Sarah: Not really. She may have acknowledged she was an addict in the finale, but I don’t remember.

Alli: Same with Lisa.

Sarah: Oh, Lisa.

Alli: Yeah.

Sarah: She’s sweet, but she needs to get a grip.

Alli: Agreed on both counts.

Sarah: I’m not optimistic about Joey, either. I get the feeling that dude is headed down a Lillo Brancato Jr. path.

Alli: Well, I sense that he is sincere, but he’s not fully cooked, and I feel like it’s very hard for people to be fully sober before they’re fully formed.

Sarah: I don’t mean this meanly; he needs to be hospitalized for a while. He IS going to kill someone, otherwise. (I don’t know if you watched his RW season, but…scary. Not in an entertaining way.)

Alli: Dude! He was really coming off like such a sweet kid, and then there was that thing where the dead eyes and the rage kicked in when they were destroying the TVs and stuff? And I was like, “Wow, this is…an actual different guy, basically.”

Sarah: The abuse he’s discussed was pretty far beyond — and I get the feeling he might have soft-pedalled it a bit, even. Something disastrous happened to him as a kid, clearly. I was disappointed that Drew didn’t deal with that more, but when Mackenzie is like, “So I fucked my dad but we can’t talk about it on camera,” I guess you get distracted.

Alli: Oh, Mackenzie. Because on the one hand: she’s very…open to everything. And she loves everybody. On the other hand, she’s a professional patient, and I feel bad for her.

293.phillips.phillips.lc.092309Sarah: And: probably broken beyond repair.

Alli: Like, I think she’s made a good decision to try to get out and be a…sad example? But that’s still sad.

Sarah: I feel bad for her son also. I think he is her parent.

Alli: Yup.

Sarah: Well, have we covered our entire reality waterfront here? Any TAR comments?

Alli: Man, I’m behind on that show, too.

Sarah: Me too.

Alli: They did cast some stupid people, I’ll say that.

Sarah: They did. But is it wrong to love Jeff? I think it probably is.

Alli: Oh, HEAVENS, no. That dude is so, so, so appealing. I think beers with that dude would be immensely enjoyable.

Sarah: At least it isn’t just me. Love that guy!

Alli: He’s really cute. Really, really cute.

Sarah: On another, sourer note: shut up, Brandy.

Alli: Oh, seeeeriously.

Sarah: Carol seems pretty cool. Girlfriend needs to revise her relationship plan. “Brandy, I’m sorry to tell you that only you have been eliminated from this relationship. Beat it.”

Alli: Maybe she could get dumped on the mat. They could break up on the spot like Lenny and Karyn. (OLD SCHOOL!)

Sarah: “Thoooose were the daaaaaaays!”

Alli: Remember the Studebaker!

Sarah: That season is why I own a Smart Car.

Alli: Ha ha! “I’m drivin’ a Swatch watch.”

Sarah: SEVEN YEARS I waited. And, seriously. It’s a lunchbox with pedals. They should give Kevin a commission on the sale.

Alli: I can’t believe there was ever a time when I didn’t love Frank. When I think about that season now.

Sarah: I need to rewatch that. Still the best cut ever, from that finale.

Alli: They’re all so advanced now! I saw video of Kevin’s kids dancing around to “I Like To Move It Move It” the other day.

Sarah: Obviously. I wish the first-season cast would have a reunion, and invite us.

Alli: THEY SHOULD. I would totally come.

Sarah: We would behave much better this time. Hee.

Alli: HAAAAA HA HA.

Sarah: (Not really. Chardonnaaaaaaaay how ya doin’ I love you guyzzzhh.)

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34 Comments »

  • rayvyn2k says:

    OMG, I love, love, love this! And, I love your tags almost as much as the blog. Please do this again soon!

  • Kevin says:

    FYI – Move It, Move It was the song we danced to for Chief Mukini :)

    And I believe it was Frank who likened the Smart Car to the Swatch watch. Definitely wasn’t me, but appreciate the shout-out.

    On a serious note, you all made that ride as much fun for us as we did for you. Thanks from all of us.

    Warm regards,
    Kevin

  • Amie says:

    Re: Survivor. So. Much. Word.
    … and yet I am watching this season. Good times.

  • Bkwrm7 says:

    Watching Survivor and TAR is how I get through visiting with my in-laws once a week, so I’m still in this season, but whooo can I not stand James. At all. I swear the only reason JT decided to keep him over Tom is because he’s getting rid of any players with a brain in the hopes that he’ll be the smartest one left.

    Also, the only thing that makes watching Russell bearable is that every time he refers to himself as the greatest at this game or the king or anything is immediately responding “Except for Natalie and you know, anyone else who’s ever won the game ever” and savoring the fact that he doesn’t know yet.

    And I’m with you two on the love of Rob – I haven’t seen either of his previous Survivor seasons, just TAR, but he’s great. Also, I’m half convinced he’s the reason the villains have been winning so much since he seems to be leading every puzzle challenge they win – although it doesn’t hurt that the heroes are teeeeerrrible at the puzzles. Just stinkeroo.

    We just finished watching the 1st season of TAR during the hiatus and now everytime one of the detectives calls someone “My friend” I think of Kevin and Drew. Good times.

  • Pamela says:

    Loved this. And I am so stealing “spinster strength.” I, too, live alone and I’ve tried to explain the phenomenon before, but that phrase sums it up perfectly. So thanks for that.

  • Julia says:

    I think the thing that makes me most insane about Kim Vo is how INCREDIBLY TERRIBLE his haircut/color are. I can’t believe a dude with hair that hideous gets to sit in judgement on stylists. (See also: why I don’t understand how Brig feeds herself.)

  • JB says:

    Survivor: although I think that this season is better than the original All-Stars in which the two headed-monster known as Romber was unleashed upon the world, I must agree that I actually, for the most part, prefer the villains to the heroes… because Candice is becoming dangerously close to becoming the only person I’d consider cheering for on that tribe.

    TAR: Not really loving this season, and I say this as someone that liked Jeff and Jordan enough to not bail on Big Brother halfway through the season like I typically do.

  • Kris says:

    Also, the only thing that makes watching Russell bearable is that every time he refers to himself as the greatest at this game or the king or anything is immediately responding “Except for Natalie and you know, anyone else who’s ever won the game ever” and savoring the fact that he doesn’t know yet.

    Oh, Bkwrm7, I could not agree more! The amount of enjoyment I get from knowing that Russell lost to Natalie is sinful. ItĂ¢â‚¬â„¢s what is keeping me watching this season. Every time he shows up on screen and crows about how great he is at this game, I snicker.

  • c8h10n4o2 says:

    Thank you both! And I’m also adding “spinster strength” to my daily lexicon. It always freaks out the guys in the lab when I start moving nitrogen tanks that are as tall as me and weigh more than I do and don’t ask for help. And I do it better than they do.

    I’m totally off Survivor at this point. If I’m flipping channels and run across it I’ve developed the same reaction as when I accidentally land on Ghost Whisperer. Let’s just say that it disturbs the dog.

    I’m still hanging in with TAR, though. Now if only to see if there are marshals waiting to arrest the one cop who’s now listed in connection with the corruption investigation back at their department. And because Jeff and the cowboys amuse me.

  • Natalie says:

    Spinster strength is amazing. As someone presently recovering from carrying two large suitcases of books up a three story walk up, I can attest to my own.

  • Jenny M says:

    I don’t watch any of these shows except TAR, and I agree that most of the people on it suck this season. I kind of like Boy Jordan and his brother. And I like the cowboys. That’s it.

    And, uh, speaking of Jaclyn Smith: there’s a photo of her in the latest Vanity Fair (an article about the Barbizon Hotel) from the late ’60s, and Late ’60s Jaclyn just might be the prettiest, prettiest lady ever. I want to cut the picture out and put it on my fridge or something. I’m captivated by it.

  • attica says:

    Wait: “They guy twirled me once”??! I need more on this please. Pleeeeeze?

    Also: There is no thing, seriously, more potent than Spinster Strength. How happy a day it now has a name!

  • Shannon says:

    I am spoiler-free and keeping my fingers crossed for Boston Rob to smoke all these fools this season.

  • cayenne says:

    THANK you! I honestly haven’t been able to get into this season at all, mostly because I’m so sick of these people, and I’m unsurprised that I’m not alone. Thursdays are already crazy busy with work and class, then to rush home to watch Spooks; after all that, I cannot handle Russell, Coach, James, Tyson, Ruuuuuuupert, Parvati and the rest of this clutch of useless tossers. I try, but by the time the 11pm west-coast feed kicks in, I’m falling asleep and these idiots aren’t compelling enough to keep me awake.

    And Probst….grr. Do not get me started. Wanker.

    And I must gank “spinster strength”. Walking 4 blocks toting an 18kg box of cat litter beats tricep curls and elliptical sessions hands down.

  • Bkwrm7 says:

    Kris:
    I also figure, Russell can’t have won this season or he wouldn’t have been nearly as upset at the finale last season, right? So I’m living for the day he’s eliminated. It will be so sweet.

  • Karen says:

    Oh my God — spinster strength. That is a totally accurate phrase. I managed to get an 8 foot Christmas tree tied to the top of my car, haul it up 5 flights of stairs, then position it in the stand and screw the thing into place all by myself. The whole process was a pain in the ass, but I’m flying solo these days so what are you gonna do.

  • Amie says:

    @Bkwrm7: me too! One theory I’ve heard bandied about is that Russell was so pissed off at the last finale because his awesomeness was recently deflated by being booted from this season. I’ve been eagerly awaiting his ouster so far.

    More re Survivor: I have to say, this season, with all of its many, many flaws, is tons better than last season.

    Also: Spinster Strength is a term that fills a void in my vocabulary. Thank you for that!

  • Sarah D. Bunting says:

    what are you gonna do

    That’s the crux of it. Getting an Ikea Expedit up two flights is not easy, mind you — but if it has to be done, I can do it.

  • lizgwiz says:

    “Spinster strength.” Lovin’ it. Lovin’ that I knew instantly exactly what you meant.

    I want Kari Ann Peniche to go away. I don’t believe that her addictions to drugs and sex are nearly as bad as her addiction to being ON TV ALL THE TIME. What a spoiled brat.

  • Leigh in CO says:

    Aw – old school! I love it!

  • ferretrick says:

    In defense of Probst, and yes, that does pain me, he did take James to task in his blog and state that he is officially “off the James train” after the episode with Stephenie aired. His sexism does not extend to actually supporting bullying women and subjecting them to verbal abuse.

    And, I’m not sure sexism is even quite the fair description of it. He is biased towards the big built guys, no question. Still, it seems to have more to do with his deep down wish that he WAS one of those guys, and to be accepted by them, then anything to do with the female contestants at all. And he has no problem acknowledging great female players-Cirie and Parvati for example. (Whether you like Parvati’s tactics or despise her, she has won and they work). He even managed to write a pretty fair and balanced column following Natalie’s victory.

    http://popwatch.ew.com/2009/12/21/jeff-probst-survivor-russell/#more-43471

    I don’t agree with his conclusions that Russell deserved to win, but he at least acknowledged that there are plenty of good counter arguments that Natalie did “deserve” the win. If its sexism, its unconscious sexism and bias.

    Did I really just spend that much time defending Probst? WHY?

  • Sharon says:

    Loved this and agreed with everything! You know Survivor is bad – my love for Rob aside – when Coach is the least objectionable person on a team!

    I also don’t understand why Dr. Drew puts up with Kari Ann’s antics – I agree with you, Sars, his attitude towards her is weird. I honestly can’t put my finger on it – it’s not quite like he has a crush on her, but there is something there – I don’t know if it’s a paternalistic/hero “this little girl needs my help and I’m the only who can save her” thing, but something is off there. I’m certainly not qualified to speak whatever problems or addictions she might have, but I don’t think Dr. Drew is really of value to her – he seems to have lost his objectivity where she’s concerned.

  • Annie F. says:

    I love that Boston Rob is on my screen again…and if that’s wrong, I don’t want to be right. There seems to be something more mellow about him, like…he knows he doesn’t have to scream and be obnoxious, just be himself and play the game right. He has been clutch on every challenge and I think the Villians would be worse off without him, at least until merge. Russell needs to STFU.

    And Jeff & Jordo on TAR, well, color me surprised how much I like them. There were a few times where I thought Jeff was going to get really angry, or overly frustrated, but he seems to take it all in stride and accept Jordan for who she is (and, likewise, she seems to like him a lot, too!). I do miss the old days, but at least this season they’ve had to find their own way a few times (like to the airport…heh).

    Love this article. Love hearing Ms. Alli outside of Monkey See (which I also love). I just love TV. More please!

  • iiii says:

    “[Russell’s] a guy who successfully manipulated one of the dumber lots of contestants in game history”

    Really? My take was that if you treat Russell as an unreliable narrator and ignore the bombastic self-aggrandizement part of his interviews, the rest of the footage showed Shambo and John buying into Russell’s “I am the King” self-concept, Jaison and Natalie managing Russell, and Natalie leading everyone else around by the nose.

  • Diane in WA says:

    Sandra. You didn’t mention Sandra once. Don’t underestimate her. Sandra won flying under the radar. I can’t figure out why she is on the Villains, but her facial expressions are priceless when Coach does something that only Coach finds profound, and she is a supreme realist.

    “spinster strength” – perfect!

  • Cath says:

    I finally managed to get the boy to watch TAR, and luckily this past episode spoke to his war-movie-lovin’ heart, so no matter what else happens this season, it’s a win for me. Except for how he now thinks it would be fun to learn Morse code together.

    Love the post. Although it reminded me how much I miss the GBC.

  • Sarah D. Bunting says:

    @iiii: Like I said, once he started getting the victory edit, I quit, as much because the season was boring and Russell was one of the more boring elements therein. Your take is probably more accurate than mine, because I didn’t see most of the season, but I don’t think our takes really differ. “Managing” Russell means buying into the belief that he’s running the game, because if you have to handle him all the time, he kind of is. (This raises another question, namely why they don’t just flush out these idols by sacrificing another tribe member if need be, but anyway.)

    I don’t believe his version of The Glory Of Russell, Survivor Mastermind, but he’s a toad, and obvious about it. It shouldn’t have flown as long as it did; he shouldn’t have lasted a week.

  • Eric says:

    You and Miss Alli have an insanely good recall of the past contestants on reality shows. I imagine some of that comes from having to write about these people week after week, but still, I’m impressed. I usually forget everyone within a week after any given show’s final episode.

    “Flo? Flo who? Oh, THAT Flo. Right, right.”

  • Soylent says:

    I haven’t watched beyond the first episode of this season’s Survivor, as their definition of who is a hero and who is a villain made me so very sad. Is Stephanie still another contestant who has loaded up her shopping trolley in the Believing Your Own Press aisle?

    She’s not Rupert level bad, but god! Thinking you’re awesome doesn’t make you likable.

  • iiii says:

    Jaison and Mick were asked in a post-game interview why they didn’t do something to get rid of Russell. They both said, basically, why would we want him gone? We figured having him with us in the final three would change the odds of winning from 1 in 3 to 1 in 2. According to post-game remarks from the jury, that’s exactly what happened. John and Shambo went in planning to vote for Russell. The rest of the jury went in some degree of undecided between Mick and Natalie.

    As far as managing Russell went, no, they didn’t buy in to his delusions. They let Russell convince himself that everything that happened was either his idea or didn’t matter, but they didn’t let him make any decisions they cared about. In one late-season episode, Jaison walks up to Russell and baldly orders him to vote out Shambo (against Russell’s own interests). Next we see Russell rationalizing voting out Shambo, and finally we see Russell voting out Shambo.

    Russell bullied two people who mistook the loudest blowhard for the guy in charge. His alliance used him as a goat. The rest of the contestants thought he was a jackass.

    I may be taking this a smidge too seriously, but last season’s edit was sexist as hell. MBP wanted to build up Russell for the Heroes vs Villains series, and that’s fine, I guess. But they did it by inserting ten minutes of Russell’s braggadocio into every episode while making Natalie nearly invisible. Even though she did a lot of the stuff Russell is getting credit for. EVEN THOUGH SHE WON. It annoys me that yet another television company has chosen yet again to boost a man at a woman’s expense.

  • Natalie says:

    If its sexism, its unconscious sexism and bias.

    Pretty much all sexism is “unconscious” and rooted in bias. It’s a pretty rare sexist who will come right out and say “I discriminate against women and have no self-serving justifications for why this example doesn’t count.”

  • La BellaDonna says:

    Spinster Strength: TOTALLY! My landlord paled a little as he watched me move metal office desks by myself – they were bigger than he was, and he said, “Wow. I don’t think I could move those by myself.” I just kind of raised an eyebrow and then moved another one – I didn’t say out loud, “I’m sure you couldn’t!” – since I thought it could prove counterproductive.

    All kinds of weird, awkward packages have to be lugged, and I’m the only one around to lug them, so that’s what I do.

    And Natalie is bang on the money – most sexism IS unconscious. It’s those internalized assumptions about how men and women are, or how they should be, that cripple men and women both.

  • Linda says:

    When I say he’s a sexist, I don’t necessarily mean “hates women.” I mean, in part, “sees everything from a perspective in which only a certain brand of masculinity — which is only possessed by certain men, and cannot be possessed by other men or by ANY women — is valuable.”

    I think valuing only one kind of man as a worthwhile winner, while devaluing all women and certain other men who don’t play according to that “masculinity 4-eva” thing he has, is still sexist, even though I agree that he also takes that attitude out on some men. I also think he tends to miss the traits he supposedly values in women when women do indeed have them. For instance, he thinks he values being clever, and that’s why he thinks he likes Boston Rob and Russell, but it would never occur to him that women like Sandra and Natalie may be equally (or more) clever by knowing how to position themselves to win. In other words, he values the same traits very differently when they are part of a man’s personality or part of a woman’s personality, in addition to the fact that he has a boneheaded fixation on those traits in the first place.

    So he’s not JUST a sexist, but I still think he’s a sexist.

  • Sandman says:

    “Thinking you’re awesome doesn’t make you likable.”

    Okay, seriously? I want this on a t-shirt. I think Spinster Strength would make a great t-shirt, too.

    (But I cannot claim spinster strength, I don’t think, and am sad thereat. “Spindly single guy with surprising upper-body strength, considering” just doesn’t cut it.)

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