My husband and I have a casual friend who is a musician in Eastern Europe. We are not very close and don't keep in touch regularly; we met several years ago at a folk-dancing event and see him every year or so at similar events. On the other hand he is a nice guy, and when we do run into him he is always very friendly to us (he showed us around his city when we visited in 2009, invited us to his wedding, etc.).

Cut to 2012, when we receive a package from him in the mail: a copy of his latest CD. We are pleased for him, and it was nice of him to think of us (my husband is also a musician so it was probably sent partly out of professional courtesy). However, the title of the CD is in English, and contains a major mistake. I don't want to give away the title in case he Googles himself but a word that should be pluralized is written with the possessive apostrophe before the S. It is definitely not intentional, but rather the result of English being his second language (and presumably that of whomever he asked to proofread for him). As far as we know, the CD is self-produced.

Should we say anything? Assuming he hasn't already found out about the mistake from someone else, us letting him know about the error could potentially allow him to correct it on future albums. On the other hand, if he has sunk his life savings into several thousand of these puppies and has no way to make any more, it might be kinder to spare him the embarrassment and let it be. For all we know, most of his audience might be his fellow non-native English speakers and might not catch the error anyway.

If he were a close friend I would likely say something but we don't know him that well and are not sure how to approach this.

What do you think?

Hem's and Haw's

Dear Hem,

Don't say anything. If it were a closer friend, or you knew he could correct the mistake (either now or in a future printing), or he asked you directly if you liked the design or had spotted any English-usage errors in the text, I might answer differently. I mean, certainly if somebody had spotted a brick like that on the label of the GBC CDs, I'd have sat down with a Sharpie and hand-corrected every single one — but based on what I do as part of my living, I'd have to.

But so many native English speakers make that mistake that, although it's right in the title and like a fingernail on a chalkboard to those of us who know it's incorrect, it's unlikely to be fatal to his reputation. He's a musician, not an ESL teacher, and if he spent a significant amount of his own money getting these done, knowing the title contains a usage biff is only going to give him agita.

If you find out that he's creating another batch, you could consider mentioning, very gently, that the English in the title is not correct, and that you're sure nobody cares or judges him — certainly you don't — but you wanted to mention it, just in case.

Otherwise, though, this kind of thing — CD covers, book jackets, printed programs for friends' shows, et al. — is like baby names: unless you are asked, in so many words, for your opinion, your only response is "that's lovely — congratulations."

Your questions about the Tomato Nation/DonorsChoose.org Spring 2012 Contest, answered. (I hope.) Updated May 15, 7 PM.

THE LOGISTICS
Starting on May 21, we'll tackle one high-need city per day. The list is below, in alpha/tackle order:

• Albuquerque, NM
• Brownsville, TX
• Buffalo, NY
• Camden, NJ
• Columbia, SC
• The Dakotas
• Detroit, MI
• Joplin, MO
• Northridge/Dayton, OH
• West Virginia's northern panhandle

The contest lasts for two weeks. Link to the Giving Page to come!

Want to suggest a project in one of these cities? Email your pets to bunting at tomatonation dot com. Three (3) per person; high-need projects only; do not send projects whose titles contain flagrant usage errors.

THE PRIZES
a $100 Apple gift card

a baby blanket and a kids'/lap blanket, hand-knitted by (Molly M.)

a brand-new Kindle touch (Stacey S.)

4 $25 DonorsChoose.org gift codes (Vanessa Y.)

a knitted pillow and a batch of 3 cat toys (Sara T.)

a hand-knitted hat, winner's choice of pattern or color (Judy P.)

Up to 6 hours of graphic-design work for business cards, a logo, et al. (Linda G.)

a $15 iTunes gift card (Amanda Mysteriosa)

a signed, bound ms. of the shiny new novel from Pamela Ribon, You Take It From Here (Pamie)

a framed 5×7 quilled initial, letter and color scheme of the winner's choice, a la zees photo (Julia C.)

2 $50 Amazon gift cards (Joan S.)

2 individual titles OR 1 boxed set from this Library of America list (Laura G.)

$100 worth of travel-planning services from TrekSetter (Beth W.)

This bird print from The Flashbulb (Stephanie F.)

a crocheted dragon in the winner's choice of color (Katherine B.)

any monster (hee) from Rebecca Danger's Big Book of Knitted Monsters (Melina M.)

a coupon code good for 100 business cards + free shipping at Moo.com (Jane V.)

a CT RollerGirls prize pack, including 4 ticket vouchers (good for the rest of the 2012 season), a black league t-shirt (winner chooses size, subject to availability), and some other little swag (buttons, stickers, beverage koozies) (Amie A.)

2 sea-glass necklaces (Ellen B.)

another $15 iTunes gift card! (Lisa G.)

a $50 gift card from the Think Geek website (Michelle R.)

a $50 Amazon gift card (Tiffany L.)

2 $50 gift cards to Zappos, 1 $50 gift card to Old Navy, and 1 $50 gift card to Best Buy (Marie T.)

I'd love even more prizes, and there's still time to join the prize pool. Email me at bunting at tomatonation dot com to pitch in. Gift cards and certificates particularly appreciated.

From my recap of last night's kind-of-off episode of Girls, "Hard Being Easy," over at Press Play:

The Marnie/Charlie storyline picks up shortly after the end of the last episode, and it's well done—but it has to climb uphill from a ridonkulous beginning in which Charlie forces Hannah to read aloud from the journal in front of him and Marnie. Hannah goes along with this, despite the fact that 1) Charlie (well, mostly Ray, but whatever) violated her privacy, 2) Marnie threw a drink on her and called her a bitch, 3) neither of them apologized, and 4) whatever Hannah's involvement, the only credible action for any character would be to hole up elsewhere until the couple's storm blew over. And Hannah not only goes along with it, she corrects them, saying it's "notes for a book," not a journal, and asks for feedback on the writing. Yes, Hannah lives in her own bellybutton, but this isn't believable behavior from anyone.

Most of the ep landed wrong for me, but it raised some good questions about what we want from our art/TV, and whether to prioritize relatability or challenge — or either of those. Looking forward to your comments over at PP!

This is Red Leader speaking. We have confirmed our fund-raising targets for the Red Ops contest. The cities/regions appear below, in alphabetical order:

• Albuquerque, NM
• Brownsville, TX
• Buffalo, NY
• Camden, NJ
• Columbia, SC
• The Dakotas
• Detroit, MI
• Joplin, MO
• Northridge/Dayton, OH
• West Virginia's northern panhandle

This is the order in which we'll tackle them, too, since alpha order seems the most randomly equitable. Remember, first strike is May 21, 00:01 hours.

The pre-mission checklist, as of this writing:

1) shop our fabulous prize list (or email me at bunting at tomatonation dot com to contribute one; gift cards/emailables especially needed)

2) suggest projects for the relevant cities and regions, sending them to the email above and following these guidelines: three (3) links per person; high-need schools only; project headlines should not contain flagrant usage errors; preference given to creative/unusual project requests

3) get ready to destroy these targets — we will have some match money, but as always, it will come down to y'all, so plunder the toll tray in the car, skip lattes for a week, sell something on Craigslist, or shave a ten-spot off your tax-refund check, and let's get this done, because these communities are screwed

And finally, Gold Five's enduring words of wisdom:

I am on the hunt for the perfect work bag. I have tons of large shoulder purses that would work, but I do a lot of walking and have a lot of stuff in my bag, and the shoulder purses always strain my back/neck/shoulder area too much.

I went to a conference last summer and part of the welcome package was a canvas-like messenger bag. This is PERFECT. It's light and holds everything I need. The problem is that it's bright red and has the conference information printed big and bold. I am a graduate student who teaches classes and works, so I want something more professional and that distinguishes me as not just a student. Essentially, I am on the hunt for a grown-up messenger bag.

I'd prefer under $50 but am willing to pay a bit more (no more than $100). I have checked Target, TJ Maxx, Marshall's, Amazon and DSW with no luck.It does not have to be leather (faux-leather is fine), but I do not want soft cloth or what is clearly a laptop messenger bag. I'd also rather not have a print on it. I'd prefer something that is not too heavy on its own, but am more concerned with it being able to hold lots of stuff and also be cross-body.

Any help from you or the readers will be great!

This Red Bag Clashes With My Purple Jacket

Dear Red,

I would try Zappos and Endless, if you haven't already — a quick Zappos search of messenger bags priced $50 or under turned up this cute quilted one and several dozen others — or Google "blank messenger bag." Companies like Branders often offer plain messenger bags and totes, so one of those might work for you.

L.L. Bean also has this one; it could be too casual, but Bean stuff tends to last forever.

And last but certainly not least, this exhaustive list from the readers from back in the day.

Readers? Any specific brands?

I am a longtime reader and have honestly found myself in an anxiety-creating moral pickle (so to speak…though being in a literal moral pickle might be rather nice!).

Here is the short version: I was in a relationship with someone for two years. In that time, I helped him get settled in NYC, let him stay with me rent-free until he found an apartment, lent him my furniture and paid for every date. This isn't relevant, but we are both young gay men. I did these things because I have a well-paying job and my boyfriend did not.

However, when I lost my job, my boyfriend picked up some of the slack and paid for my rent for a few months and bills, etc. A few months later, we broke up. It was both of our faults, but he technically broke up with me. I let him have our shared apartment and most of the furniture.

Over a year has passed, and now he wants me to pay him back for the rent he insisted on paying for me so I wouldn't be stressed about losing my job. It was an incredibly sweet gesture, and I would love to pay him back, but I am still on unemployment and owe a dear friend almost two thousand dollars after a sleazy landlord milked me out of my security and last month's rent. I feel like that debt should be tended to first, and when I land a job I can pay back the money my ex feels I owe him. But all of my friends say that I don't owe him a thing because what happens in a relationship stays in the relationship. Are relationships like Vegas?

Perplexed and in a pickle

Dear Pickle,

I'd say this one is more like the Yukon, because your ex's shit is cold. Heh.

…Okay, seriously: I agree with your friends, mostly, for a few reasons. First, you had already basically done the same for him and not expected any formal repayment. Granted, the circumstances were somewhat different; the relationship was in a happier place, "staying with" is more amorphous in terms of assigning it a dollar value than "paying the rent for," blah blah blah. But that would seem to have evened things up between you, as far as one partner taking care of the other financially — not put you in a hole.

Second, he ended the relationship. This is a technicality; the fact that he's occupying the apartment you shared and using the furniture you jointly purchased (I assume) is not.

And lastly, yeah, I'd have to say that, within a relationship, fiscal arrangements or trades of this type work the same way as they do among family members: you don't spend or lend any money you expect to get back. And if you do expect to get it back, you formalize its status as a loan, with a letter and a repayment schedule that you both sign. I have done it with boyfriends several times, going in either direction, and it might sound unromantic or distrustful, but nothing kills trust (or a boner) like one partner seething over an interpretation or an unspoken timeline involving money. It's so much better just to take that off the table permanently — and obviously you don't have to notarize every single side table or take-out order. But if it's thousands of dollars and you can anticipate it causing an issue, put it in writing.

You didn't do that, which is fine, most people don't, live and learn. But by the same token, you…didn't do that. So, I don't know if Ex has legal standing here; he can ask you to pay him back, or passive-aggressively let you know that he thinks you should; I don't know whether he can compel it without going to small claims, at which time presumably you could point out that he lived with you rent-free, has all your chairs, and so on.

That said, when I say "mostly" up at the top there, it's because I don't know the dollar figures involved. If "bills, etc." is ten grand in trips to Rio or something, it's probably appropriate for you to ask him to name a reasonable figure; to sign off, in writing, on that figure; and to let him know that you'll repay that agreed-on figure after you get a job and address the other debt to your friend.

Again, I don't know the legalities here, but if all you're asking me is, "Should he just let the shit go and move on?" then yes, I think he should. You don't have the money in the second place, and even if you did, unless it's thousands of dollars that he couldn't spare (and evidently he could, at the time), writing it off as the cost of relationships and moving on is his best move.

It's time to choose the tenth and final community we drop a bazillion dimes on during the contest. The poll is below, and includes a few entries from the original poll, plus some write-in candidates. Vote early, vote often, and share on social media. Thanks!

Kickin' out the jams in Hotlanta

Out With The Crowd ventured into the NL East late last week when I interviewed Lauren, the head rodeo clown at LoveMyBravos.com, about bullpen-management issues, stupid baby names, and J. Hey's new look.

Sarah D. Bunting: Who's your favorite acquisition for the Braves since last season?

Lauren: Our roster barely changed from 2011. We had a great club last year but never had it firing on all cylinders. Most fans would say our greatest change in the offseason was dealing Derek Lowe to the Indians…in spite of us being responsible for $10MM of his $15MM salary this year.

We have a rookie shortstop — Tyler Pastornicky — who is doing exactly as expected. Otherwise, there haven't been any significant changes.

So you don't have a least favorite acquisition either? Or is that where Pastornicky comes in? …The clubhouse guy probably isn't a big fan of his. "It's as bad as Saltalamacchia!"

Ha ha, poor Salty. You know, I don't have a least favorite. I didn't think I was going to like the additions of Livan Hernandez or Chad Durbin to our bullpen, but Durbin's been great in his last few outings and Livo is hilarious. He has a lipstick-red glove and uses Pitbull's "Give Me Everything" as his intro song.

What was your favorite departure?

While Derek Lowe amused me when he wasn't pitching, I am glad we found a taker for him. As is to be expected with the Braves, we have too much pitching and there just wasn't a spot for a repeat of his 2011 performance.

One of our former starters, Kris Medlen, is stuck in the bullpen because we don't have a spot for him in the rotation. Luckily he's one of the few pitchers out there who really is great at every role. Derek Lowe had a horrible 2011. 9-17 record with an ERA over 5 and a WHIP over 1.5. We didn't want him back. Medlen can start, spot-start, throw one inning or 6 in long-relief, or close if we need him to. He's a fantastic asset.

I'm sorry, I'm a Mets fan. You're going to have to explain to me what that is. Use small words. …What about unwanted departures. Anyone you were sad to see go?

Hmm…unwanted departures… Well, our team is pretty solid. Tim Hudson only missed a few weeks with his off-season back surgery and no one expects Chipper Jones to play full-time this year. I've heard a major clubhouse presence is Peter Moylan, our Aussie sidearm reliever. He's still in extended spring training recovering from another surgery. He's only signed to a AAA contract this year, but I'd expect to see him called up when he's physically ready.

It sounds like you're pretty content with the team's makeup — what's your biggest worry about the 2012 Braves?

Fredi Gonzalez overusing the bullpen again. Can our Rookie of the Year closer Craig Kimbrel throw in 79 games again and stay healthy? Can our all-star setup man Jonny Venters trot out for 85 games again? Our 7th-inning man Eric O'Flaherty pitched in 75 games. Luckily Fredi has eased off the big three and put a little more weight on the shoulders of the rest of the bullpen, but without Venters and Kimbrel I don't see us in the post-season.

Sidebar: Do you think that's the biggest contributor to how Atlanta's season ended up last year?

I think last September came down to two things: we never got everything working at the same time (pitching, offense, defense), and I think some players were worn down and wouldn't admit it.

By "some players" do you mean J. Alias Heyward? And do you agree with my pet theory that there's something still off with him? Understand: I love that guy. I want him to kill it. But something ain't right still.

Yes. And Martin Prado, and the back end of the bullpen. Heyward's doing better this year. He lost something like 20 lbs. in the off-season and worked a lot on his swing with the new hitting coach. He's doing great in the stolen base department (I think he's 8 for 9? let me check that) and he's making more plays in the outfield.

I haven't had a good look since spring training.

I think getting back to a healthy weight as well as making some mental changes has helped him improve this season.

Yeah…he was looking, like, frightened at the plate last year.

I saw the same thing. (Yes, 8 for 9 in SBs.)

Where do you see the team finishing this season? NL East isn't quite the scrum of haplessness in years past. (Flushing excepted, sigh.)

Poor Mets.

As an eternally optimistic fan, I think we have all the tools to finish in first place. There are a few things we have to do, though: stay healthy, give our regulars enough rest to make it down the stretch, and win within the division. We seem to play on the level of our opponents — by that I mean, a sub-.500 team comes into town, and we can't beat them. We play a division leader, and we win. A huge key will be having a winning record against the Nationals, the Phillies, the Marlins, and the Mets. If you can't beat your own division, do you deserve to be in the playoffs?

That answers my next question — who do you see winning the division — so who do you see in the World Series this year?

I'd love this World Series to be Braves vs. Rangers, even though it would be hard on the Rangers to lose three years in a row.

Ha! If it's not your boys, who would get to the Classic out of the NL?

I think the Nationals have a great team. It'll be hard to bump them out of first place. Hate that their closer Drew Storen is on the bench after elbow surgery (he's such a fun one to watch) but they have a lot of excitement up in DC over Harper and Strasburg. The rest of their team isn't bad, either. Michael Morse seems to kill us.

Any pleasant surprises so far this year? Can be a Brave-y thing or something elsewhere in baseball.

A wonderful surprise this year has been the continued success of a few of our young players. First baseman Freddie Freeman is absolutely raking and plays Gold-Glove-caliber 1B — last year he was the first player to ever get the rookie triple crown and not win Rookie of the Year. He should be the All-Star Game starter, in my opinion. If pitchers Brandon Beachy and Mike Minor continue to increase their innings, they're going to be as well known as Maddux, Glavine, and Smoltz. They really are that good, and no one seems to know about them.

Any un-pleasant surprises?

I think everyone is a little disappointed in the fall of Jair Jurrjens. He went from being an All-Star in 2011 (and many thought he should have been the NL starter) to being sent down to AAA after a weak start to 2012.

Just one of many bombs on my fantasy team, so yeah.

He says his knee (which has given him problems) is okay and that his health is fine. No one seems to know the problem. So, he'll work it out in Gwinnett. Sorry about your loss. We really don't know what happened after the ASG.

He's the least of my problems (Aubrey Huff, etc.).

Aubrey Huff is so weird and funny and gross. I like him.

Aubrey Huff needs to not go on the DL because he's sad about his divorce. I'm trying to win some fuckin' money over here.

Maybe he should give his wife back her red thong and they'll be happy again. Or maybe he should stop going out after games so much.

Play through the pain, Daisy. I've got Bay out too. Anyway! If you could tell Fredi one thing, what would it be?

Honestly, nothing comes to mind. A lot of fans don't like his bullpen management (among other things), but I think he's doing a pretty good job considering the pressure he's under. I certainly don't think I would be better at it! I can just hear myself as manager: "You were rude that one time, so you're not going to play. You're cute, so you're starting. Jonny, Meds, Prado, Delgado — you all have to wear your socks up today because that's my favorite."

Hee. I'd be the same. "Come here, Turner. I want to tell you something. About your hair, using scissors."

Ha ha, I love Justin Turner. And I love that he and one of our resident redheads (Freddie Freeman) use the same walkup song.

Last question! Anything bugging you? Any recent stories circulating that are getting on your nads? Mine is Mo. That situation makes me very sad.

You know, the Mo story really is a tragedy. My first thought was, well, will he say "that's it" and call it a career? Reminds me of Billy Wagner going down with the oblique tear at the end of 2010, and ending his career on the DL. Great players — closers or otherwise — should be able to leave on their own terms.

Sadly, athlete bodies just don't hold up the way we'd like. The Julio Francos are few and far between.

I had to turn away from the photos. It was like seeing a racehorse pull up lame. You know what's next and it ain't good.

Exactly!

On a shallower note, though, at least we've all shut up about the goddamn Pujols Homer Watch for a little while.

I hoped that his move to the American League and the left coast would mean I'd hear less about him, but no. Watch him go on a Dan Uggla tear, though. New big contract, new city, sucks for the first little while. Then bam — 30-something-game hitting streak, end the year with 36 homers.

Also, he's actually 51 years old. The old bones need time to warm up again.

Ha ha, he totally is. I mean, I'm younger than Uggla and obviously not in as good shape, and I have no idea how he still gets around so well.

Anything else on your nerves? Local sports coverage? Irrational opponent hatred? Ozzie? Let it out, girl.

Chip Caray is one of our local broadcasters and he's surprisingly entertaining. He's not quite as excitable as he used to be, but it's great to hear him yell (example: McCann's grand slam off Halladay).

The only soapbox-y thing that I could rant about all day is all the Chipper worship. I was never much of a fan (he once made my brother cry at a Make-A-Wish Foundation Christmas party) and while I appreciate his contributions between the lines, I'm so glad this is his last season. I'm so tired of hearing everyone talk about him like he's a first-ballot Hall of Famer.

…Okay, he deserves that. I'm just ready to turn the page. He's not the alpha and omega of major league baseball. (Follow-up question: who is, then? I don't have an answer to that, but I don't want to see his baked-bean teeth on my TV anymore.)

I hate him for the "Shea" thing.

A lot of people thought that was ridiculous.

When the kid gets a little older, he's going to think it's ridiculous. (Or she, I don't remember what flavor it is.)

I think it might have been different if Shea had been a girl. The biggest uproar here was, "That's a girl's name! Did he really do that?!"

Could have been worse. Could have been the Vet.

Sun Life Stadium.

The Juice Box.

Lauren cheers for her Braves at LoveMyBravos.com. You can also follow her on Twitter @BravesLove, where I'm sure she'd be very happy to talk about the Moyer/Jones dust-up. (Not really. Also, cram it, LARRY.)

From my recap of "Hannah's Diary," over at Press Play:

"Just be who you are," he says, oh so sweetly, and it's a moment Hannah is going to take out and look at with brimming eyes for months after he goes back to his regular shitheel self. Been there, done that, bought the t-shirt, and "forgot" it at his place so I'd have an excuse to come over again.

Please comment over yonder — thanks!

10 cities. 2 weeks. 1 mighty Nation. Wheels up May 21.

Your mission, should you choose to accept it: knock out a bunch of projects in 10 different high-need cities, one city for each weekday of the contest.

Before we get started, I need two things:

1) Prize ideas and donations, if any of you would like to contribute in that way — portable/electronic prizes like gift cards and coupons work best, but other whimsy is also welcome (email bunting at tomatonation dot com to discuss).
2) For you to decide which communities we'll help! A poll appears below with the choices; you can select three, or write in a city or area that's not on the list. Most of the selections come from the DonorsChoose.org breakdown of the highest-need areas, but others have suffered a natural disaster within the last year, and still others consistently rank among the country's poorest school districts. Again, if there's an area in need that you don't see here, please note it in the comments.

Watch this space for updates, and strap your awesome on.