"I wrote 63 songs this year. They're all about Jeter." Just kidding. The game we love, the players we hate, and more.

Culture and Criticism

From Norman Mailer to Wendy Pepper — everything on film, TV, books, music, and snacks (shut up, raisins), plus the Girls' Bike Club.

Donors Choose and Contests

Helping public schools, winning prizes, sending a crazy lady in a tomato costume out in public.

Stories, True and Otherwise

Monologues, travelogues, fiction, and fart humor. And hens. Don't forget the hens.

The Vine

The Tomato Nation advice column addresses your questions on etiquette, grammar, romance, and pet misbehavior. Ask The Readers about books or fashion today!

The Vine: March 18, 2009
March 18, 2009 · 36 Comments

Here's mine: it was an independent film, I guess, probably came out in the early-to-mid-nineties but set, maybe, in the fifties. I saw it at the local art-house theater when I was young-middle school-ish.
I'm not …

Shut up, St. Patrick's Day
March 16, 2009 · 99 Comments
Shut up, St. Patrick's Day

Ireland, Irish people, Irish culture, Irish Spring soap, Kathy Ireland — I've got no beef with them, corned or otherwise. I could do without shitty Oirish accents of film and television, but that's not Ireland's …

DC Trip: Pix!
March 16, 2009 · 22 Comments
DC Trip: Pix!

The TN Flickr group is here; you can also see a more complete catalog — including my utterly graceless carousel dismount, and a few snaps in which I look 1) drunk and 2) about to …

March 15, 2009 · 17 Comments

Full update shortly, but here's one to hold you (photo compliments of reader M.E.B.). This is me in the No Child Left Behind hut in front of the Department of Education:

Thanks so much to everyone …

DC Trip Update: The Hoisting Of Pints
March 11, 2009 · 12 Comments

If you can't join the sightseeing fun, you can still see the tomato bending an elbow (and join in with the beverage of your choice) at Capitol City Brewing Company. We aim to get there …

The Vine: March 11, 2009
March 11, 2009 · 51 Comments

Dear Sars,

I need help. We live in the suburbs with our two-year-old cats. About six months ago our neighbors acquired two cats who belong to their elderly father (he moved in with them). We have …

DC Trip Update: Twitter, ETA
March 7, 2009 · 31 Comments

Sign up now for tweets from the road!
The plan, currently, is to leave NYC by car at 6:30-7 AM, arriving in DC before noon and hitting our first stop, the Capitol, at noon. Mr. S …

The Vine: March 6, 2009
March 6, 2009 · 47 Comments

Happy birthday, Gen! Rock that steak.
I am a guy and I need casual tops for the cooler months.I have plenty of button-down shirts of varying degrees of dressiness, but still I always feel overdressed going …

The Vine: March 4, 2009
March 4, 2009 · 119 Comments

Hi Sars,
About five years ago, when I was younger and not so smart, I went out and got a tattoo on my lower back. (Like everyone else in the world.) Perhaps not surprisingly, I decided …

DVR Break-Up: Brothers & Sisters
March 3, 2009 · 31 Comments
DVR Break-Up: <I>Brothers & Sisters</I>

It's not an official break-up yet, but I may need some space, some time to figure out if this is what I really want.
The show isn't bad; the acting is still top-notch, and the cast …