"I wrote 63 songs this year. They're all about Jeter." Just kidding. The game we love, the players we hate, and more.

Culture and Criticism

From Norman Mailer to Wendy Pepper — everything on film, TV, books, music, and snacks (shut up, raisins), plus the Girls' Bike Club.

Donors Choose and Contests

Helping public schools, winning prizes, sending a crazy lady in a tomato costume out in public.

Stories, True and Otherwise

Monologues, travelogues, fiction, and fart humor. And hens. Don't forget the hens.

The Vine

The Tomato Nation advice column addresses your questions on etiquette, grammar, romance, and pet misbehavior. Ask The Readers about books or fashion today!

The Vine: March 12, 2002
March 12, 2002 · No Comment

Hey Sars.
I'm in a very similar situation to Philly, and I wanted to point her towards some useful resources. While I have a different type of seizure (and Depakote did nothing but make me sleepy, …

Girls, Girls, Girls
March 11, 2002 · 2 Comments

A couple of weeks ago, the New York Times Magazine ran an article entitled "Girls Just Want To Be Mean," about a woman named Rosalind Wiseman and her efforts to, as author Margaret Talbot describes …

The Vine: March 8, 2002
March 8, 2002 · No Comment

Dear Sars,
Here's my problem. I have epilepsy. It's not really a big deal, though. I was diagnosed in college; after two years of bizarre behavior, a couple grand mal seizures, and a gazillion tests, they …

The Vine: March 7, 2002
March 7, 2002 · No Comment

Hi Sars,
You might remember that I asked your advice last year about my flatmate who thought he was striking a blow for the proletariat by stealing a tin of tomatoes. Since your advice totally rocked …

The Vine: March 6, 2002
March 6, 2002 · No Comment

You are so-oooooo right on!
I think Confused in Colorado must be an unquestioning devotee of none other than the Misanthropic Bitch (but I'm sure you already knew that!). It's sad that people don't have the …

The Vine: March 5, 2002
March 5, 2002 · No Comment

Okay, first a little background stuff. I am 24 years old, first-year graduate student. I've spent the past two and a half years out of college working full-time, living on my own, and dating a …

Speaking In Tongues
March 4, 2002 · One Comment

In college, Ernie and I often used to communicate using Talking Heads songs, partly because that's all we listened to besides Cypress Hill and the Smiths, partly because it functioned as a secret code that …

The Vine: March 1, 2002
March 1, 2002 · No Comment

Dear Sarah,
Of course, the usual compliments about your site apply. We're both fans.
Our problem is this: A guy friend of ours (Bob) is dating a girl (Sue) we both know is a skank. We were …

The Vine: February 28, 2002
February 28, 2002 · No Comment

Hey Sars,
Just wanted to mention something that Trying To Deal might find helpful. Nearly every veterinary college has a Pet Loss Support Hotline these days. The people answering the telephone will understand how she feels, …

The Vine: February 27, 2002
February 27, 2002 · No Comment

I think your advice to Grumpy Grad Student is pretty spot-on, but I did want to add something. GGS's husband sounds a lot like many people I have met in Debtors Anonymous. I ended up …