Baseball

"I wrote 63 songs this year. They're all about Jeter." Just kidding. The game we love, the players we hate, and more.

Culture and Criticism

From Norman Mailer to Wendy Pepper — everything on film, TV, books, music, and snacks (shut up, raisins), plus the Girls' Bike Club.

Donors Choose and Contests

Helping public schools, winning prizes, sending a crazy lady in a tomato costume out in public.

Stories, True and Otherwise

Monologues, travelogues, fiction, and fart humor. And hens. Don't forget the hens.

The Vine

The Tomato Nation advice column addresses your questions on etiquette, grammar, romance, and pet misbehavior. Ask The Readers about books or fashion today!

The Vine: August 1, 2002
August 1, 2002 · No Comment

Sars,
An interesting (if by "interesting" I mean "infuriating and rage-inducing") situation blindsided me yesterday, and I thought I'd run it past you.
Two of my closest friends are getting married in August (as in marrying each …

The Vine: July 31, 2002
July 31, 2002 · No Comment

Hey there Sars —
I have a problem that I'm pretty sure has never been covered in your illustrious column. See, my otherwise lovely and well-behaved husband is a compulsive talker.
And when I say "compulsive," I …

The Vine: July 30, 2002
July 30, 2002 · No Comment

Sars —
Generally your advice is spot-on, but your comments to Closet Case resemble pretty much what most non-gay people seem to think is the best advice for people who are still in the closet: reassurance …

Moving Pictures
July 29, 2002 · No Comment

I recently received a rather acidic email from a reader, demanding to know how I could "review" the AFI's 100 Greatest Movies if I hadn't seen half the films on the list. Well, I'll tell …

The Vine: July 26, 2002
July 26, 2002 · No Comment

Hey Sars,
I had a cat that also loved nothing more than peeing and/or crapping on the bathmat, but the bathmat ONLY. The vet remarked that the rubber backing on bathmats smells like ammonia to cats, …

The Vine: July 25, 2002
July 25, 2002 · No Comment

Dear Sars,
I love The Vine. Your responses are consistently perceptive, on target and entertaining. I have yet to disagree with any advice you've given, so I feel rather strange writing in to add to a …

The Vine: July 24, 2002
July 24, 2002 · No Comment

Dear Sars,
I have been thinking about writing for quite some time and am not sure I am doing the right thing, but I am kind of stuck on someone and it is hard to figure …

The Vine: July 23, 2002
July 23, 2002 · No Comment

Dear Sars,
I've been reading The Vine for months, and now I have a question I know you can help me with.
I was having a discussion with a friend of mine the other day about homographs. …

Testing My Patience
July 22, 2002 · No Comment

You've gone to the post office to mail eighteen boxes of various shapes and sizes to a friend in Belgium. When should you fill out the customs forms?
a. At home, before you come to the …

The Vine: July 19, 2002
July 19, 2002 · No Comment

Dear Sars,
I don't particularly condone Ms. Edgar Allan Poe's actions, but it occurs to me that a semi-easy way to clear the air with her friend would be to call her friend and say that …