"I wrote 63 songs this year. They're all about Jeter." Just kidding. The game we love, the players we hate, and more.

Culture and Criticism

From Norman Mailer to Wendy Pepper — everything on film, TV, books, music, and snacks (shut up, raisins), plus the Girls' Bike Club.

Donors Choose and Contests

Helping public schools, winning prizes, sending a crazy lady in a tomato costume out in public.

Stories, True and Otherwise

Monologues, travelogues, fiction, and fart humor. And hens. Don't forget the hens.

The Vine

The Tomato Nation advice column addresses your questions on etiquette, grammar, romance, and pet misbehavior. Ask The Readers about books or fashion today!

The Vine: October 17, 2002
October 17, 2002 · No Comment

Dear Sars,
I'm fairly young, and a few months ago, I scored what I thought was the
perfect job.A lot of responsibility, really interesting, and something I
thought I'd be able to do very well. Getting a job …

The Vine: October 16, 2002
October 16, 2002 · No Comment

My husband lost his computer programming job a few months ago, and the IT industry here is very depressed.We expect that he'll be unemployed for several months or longer.I'm currently employed and my job is …

The Vine: October 15, 2002
October 15, 2002 · No Comment

Sars —
Never thought I'd be writing you, but I have a bit of a problem and I'm kind
of in need of somebody to play Switzerland for me.
About nine years ago, I developed an extremely close …

I Left My Bag In San Francis– Oh, The Hell With It
October 14, 2002 · No Comment

I am tired
The car comes for me at 5:45 AM. I stayed up all night, but everything is done — the cats went to the kennel, the clothes came out of the dryer, the legs …

The Vine: October 11, 2002
October 11, 2002 · No Comment

Dear Sars,
I have to write a rough-draft short story for my sophomore writing class by November 8th. No length requirements, except that it be longer than three pages double spaced. I'm stumped for ideas, but …

The Vine: October 10, 2002
October 10, 2002 · No Comment

Hey Sars,
I know that, in the greater scheme of things, my
"problem" isn't that life-altering, but I'd really
like your opinion on this.
Today, my mother and I went shopping for an outfit for
my university graduation dinner/dance.I got …

The Vine: October 2, 2002
October 2, 2002 · No Comment

Dude.Check it out.
Here's my letter to Quoi Faire?, which ran on August 21, 2002.Here's the Annie's Mailbox version (that's Ann Landers's daughter or successor or whoever), which ran yesterday.
It's obviously the same letter; Annie edited …

The Vine: October 1, 2002
October 1, 2002 · No Comment

I have a problem that I've created, and I don't know who else I can talk to
that won't be all judgmental on me.My friends would absolutely freak if
they knew.
I'm straight, or at least I'm 90 …

Legends Of The Fall
September 30, 2002 · No Comment

Okay, autumn. It's almost October. I've always considered you my favorite season, but enough with the David Chase routine — let's get on with it. I want to see red and yellow leaves. I want …

The Vine: September 27, 2002
September 27, 2002 · No Comment

I agree with absolutely everything you said to "Wandering" yesterday, but I'd add one thing.It's possible that it's the last thing she wants to hear, and it's hardly the panacea some folks would have you …