"I wrote 63 songs this year. They're all about Jeter." Just kidding. The game we love, the players we hate, and more.

Culture and Criticism

From Norman Mailer to Wendy Pepper — everything on film, TV, books, music, and snacks (shut up, raisins), plus the Girls' Bike Club.

Donors Choose and Contests

Helping public schools, winning prizes, sending a crazy lady in a tomato costume out in public.

Stories, True and Otherwise

Monologues, travelogues, fiction, and fart humor. And hens. Don't forget the hens.

The Vine

The Tomato Nation advice column addresses your questions on etiquette, grammar, romance, and pet misbehavior. Ask The Readers about books or fashion today!

The Vine: October 31, 2001
October 31, 2001 · No Comment

Ah, porn.Everyone's got an opinion about it.
If you recall, I ran a letter from a woman who didn't know whether she should tell her former semi-friend about the former semi-friend's fiancé's incest-porn habit, and I …

The Vine: October 30, 2001
October 30, 2001 · No Comment

Dear Sars,
I'm hoping that you can help me.I really need an objective third party opinion on this. This situation is unbelievably convoluted, so bear with me, and feel free to edit as you see fit.
My …

The Old Ball Game
October 29, 2001 · No Comment

September, 1985. Reagan's in the White House, The Golden Girls rule the Nielsen ratings, and I've just started the eighth grade armed with a collection of Flashdance-tastic off-the-shoulder Esprit tops, a parted-down-the-middle-and-carefully-curled-on-the-sides hairdo, and enough …

The Vine: October 26, 2001
October 26, 2001 · No Comment

Dear Sars,
I'm a sophomore and commuter student at NYU, so I thought I'd throw in my two cents on the letter from Ang in Astoria.
There are a bunch of reasons why I don't live in …

The Vine: October 25, 2001
October 25, 2001 · No Comment

Hey Sars,
I love your site. You are so smart and I agree with all your (opinionated) essays.
Here's my problem. I'll make it short and sweet.
I have a band. I have a crush on my drummer. …

The Vine: October 24, 2001
October 24, 2001 · No Comment

Re: books about baseball.
I also suggest all of W.P. Kinsella's novels and short stories that have to do with baseball.I'm not a huge baseball fan, but my dad was –
Kinsella's baseball books make me all …

The Vine: October 23, 2001
October 23, 2001 · No Comment

Dear Sarah,
I have a question, but first a little background.My parents are not sports fans, and seeing as how my home team, the Seattle Mariners, basically sucked for most of their, and my, existence, I …

Drop The Chalupa
October 22, 2001 · No Comment

Yearbook pages followed a strict blueprint at my high school. Mrs. McPherson gave us a square of blue graph paper, and a couple of weeks later we brought it back to her, a professional photo …

The Vine: October 19, 2001
October 19, 2001 · No Comment

Hey Sarah,
Yes, it's another email about Buttercup.Sorry but today's email about her poked at me a bit.I've been engaged before and through the grace of God or just myself I realized that wasn't the person …

The Vine: October 18, 2001
October 18, 2001 · No Comment

Dear Sars,
You seem to have a lot of good, classy advice to give. Right now, I definitely need some.
My boyfriend and I have been together for six months and I recently moved into his house …