"I wrote 63 songs this year. They're all about Jeter." Just kidding. The game we love, the players we hate, and more.

Culture and Criticism

From Norman Mailer to Wendy Pepper — everything on film, TV, books, music, and snacks (shut up, raisins), plus the Girls' Bike Club.

Donors Choose and Contests

Helping public schools, winning prizes, sending a crazy lady in a tomato costume out in public.

Stories, True and Otherwise

Monologues, travelogues, fiction, and fart humor. And hens. Don't forget the hens.

The Vine

The Tomato Nation advice column addresses your questions on etiquette, grammar, romance, and pet misbehavior. Ask The Readers about books or fashion today!

Moving Pictures
July 29, 2002 · No Comment

I recently received a rather acidic email from a reader, demanding to know how I could "review" the AFI's 100 Greatest Movies if I hadn't seen half the films on the list. Well, I'll tell …

The Vine: July 26, 2002
July 26, 2002 · No Comment

Hey Sars,
I had a cat that also loved nothing more than peeing and/or crapping on the bathmat, but the bathmat ONLY. The vet remarked that the rubber backing on bathmats smells like ammonia to cats, …

The Vine: July 25, 2002
July 25, 2002 · No Comment

Dear Sars,
I love The Vine. Your responses are consistently perceptive, on target and entertaining. I have yet to disagree with any advice you've given, so I feel rather strange writing in to add to a …

The Vine: July 24, 2002
July 24, 2002 · No Comment

Dear Sars,
I have been thinking about writing for quite some time and am not sure I am doing the right thing, but I am kind of stuck on someone and it is hard to figure …

The Vine: July 23, 2002
July 23, 2002 · No Comment

Dear Sars,
I've been reading The Vine for months, and now I have a question I know you can help me with.
I was having a discussion with a friend of mine the other day about homographs. …

Testing My Patience
July 22, 2002 · No Comment

You've gone to the post office to mail eighteen boxes of various shapes and sizes to a friend in Belgium. When should you fill out the customs forms?
a. At home, before you come to the …

The Vine: July 19, 2002
July 19, 2002 · No Comment

Dear Sars,
I don't particularly condone Ms. Edgar Allan Poe's actions, but it occurs to me that a semi-easy way to clear the air with her friend would be to call her friend and say that …

The Vine: July 18, 2002
July 18, 2002 · No Comment

Dear Sars,
Last week I did something kinda stupid. Without getting into the specific details, I lied to a friend, pretended to be her on the phone, and charged something to her credit card without her …

The Vine: July 17, 2002
July 17, 2002 · No Comment

Dear Sars,
So here's the deal. I'm a 19-year-old student going to a good college. When I was in about the third grade I was diagnosed with as LD (learning disabled). Over time, by learning my …

The Vine: July 16, 2002
July 16, 2002 · No Comment

Dear Sars,
As a former journalist who also quickly realized she'd never make a stellar reporter, I've got two bits of wisdom for "Probably Not Lois Lane," who's trying to figure out whether to start a …