"I wrote 63 songs this year. They're all about Jeter." Just kidding. The game we love, the players we hate, and more.

Culture and Criticism

From Norman Mailer to Wendy Pepper — everything on film, TV, books, music, and snacks (shut up, raisins), plus the Girls' Bike Club.

Donors Choose and Contests

Helping public schools, winning prizes, sending a crazy lady in a tomato costume out in public.

Stories, True and Otherwise

Monologues, travelogues, fiction, and fart humor. And hens. Don't forget the hens.

The Vine

The Tomato Nation advice column addresses your questions on etiquette, grammar, romance, and pet misbehavior. Ask The Readers about books or fashion today!

The Vine: July 23, 2002
July 23, 2002 · No Comment

Dear Sars,
I've been reading The Vine for months, and now I have a question I know you can help me with.
I was having a discussion with a friend of mine the other day about homographs. …

Testing My Patience
July 22, 2002 · No Comment

You've gone to the post office to mail eighteen boxes of various shapes and sizes to a friend in Belgium. When should you fill out the customs forms?
a. At home, before you come to the …

The Vine: July 19, 2002
July 19, 2002 · No Comment

Dear Sars,
I don't particularly condone Ms. Edgar Allan Poe's actions, but it occurs to me that a semi-easy way to clear the air with her friend would be to call her friend and say that …

The Vine: July 18, 2002
July 18, 2002 · No Comment

Dear Sars,
Last week I did something kinda stupid. Without getting into the specific details, I lied to a friend, pretended to be her on the phone, and charged something to her credit card without her …

The Vine: July 17, 2002
July 17, 2002 · No Comment

Dear Sars,
So here's the deal. I'm a 19-year-old student going to a good college. When I was in about the third grade I was diagnosed with as LD (learning disabled). Over time, by learning my …

The Vine: July 16, 2002
July 16, 2002 · No Comment

Dear Sars,
As a former journalist who also quickly realized she'd never make a stellar reporter, I've got two bits of wisdom for "Probably Not Lois Lane," who's trying to figure out whether to start a …

London Calling
July 15, 2002 · No Comment

Sarah: So how's the packing going?
Couch Baron: Ugh. I just threw away twenty garbage bags of stuff.
Sarah: I didn't know you had twenty garbage bags of stuff, much less to throw away.
Couch Baron: Neither did …

The Vine: July 12, 2002
July 12, 2002 · No Comment

You mentioned in your response to "Been There, Done That" that you had to acknowledge at some point that you'd "make a sucky reporter." If you don't mind using Vine space to talk a bit …

The Vine: July 11, 2002
July 11, 2002 · No Comment

Dear Sars,
I felt just like Go Back for four years when I went through B.S., round one. My undergraduate institution sucked the joy of science right out of me. But I was able to renew …

The Vine: July 10, 2002
July 10, 2002 · No Comment

Hi Sars,
The letter from Take Me Out To A Ballgame…Any Ballgame reminded me of a column by the Sports Guy called "Rules For Being A True Fan." I don't agree with all of it, but …