"I wrote 63 songs this year. They're all about Jeter." Just kidding. The game we love, the players we hate, and more.

Culture and Criticism

From Norman Mailer to Wendy Pepper — everything on film, TV, books, music, and snacks (shut up, raisins), plus the Girls' Bike Club.

Donors Choose and Contests

Helping public schools, winning prizes, sending a crazy lady in a tomato costume out in public.

Stories, True and Otherwise

Monologues, travelogues, fiction, and fart humor. And hens. Don't forget the hens.

The Vine

The Tomato Nation advice column addresses your questions on etiquette, grammar, romance, and pet misbehavior. Ask The Readers about books or fashion today!

The Vine: April 4, 2001
April 4, 2001 · No Comment

In response to the part of D.J.'s dilemma that deals with the "big money versus helping the little guy" law-school problem:
I am a recent law-school graduate and current first-year associate at a somewhat large Manhattan …

The Vine: April 3, 2001
April 3, 2001 · No Comment

I'd just like to add my two cents, because I think I know what she's talking about (well, maybe not, but I'd like to say it anyway).
Getting serious with somebody narrows down the possibilities, and …

The Vine: April 2, 2001
April 2, 2001 · No Comment

Dear Sarah,
So I'm involved in a situation that confuses the heck out of me and I thought it'd be infinitely helpful to get the insight of someone not currently experiencing the throes of adolescence. I'm …

The Vine: March 30, 2001
March 30, 2001 · No Comment

I'm afraid this is another one of those odd relationship letters. My boyfriend and I have been going out nine months, living together for five of them. (Yeah, I know, moving a little fast — …

The Vine: March 29, 2001
March 29, 2001 · No Comment

Okay, here's the deal. I'm 20, never had a serious relationship. But have always been "boy-crazy" (a.k.a. see a guy I like, develop crush on said guy, engage in stalkerish/obsessive tendencies).
In April, I started a …

The Vine: March 28, 2001
March 28, 2001 · No Comment

Dear Sarah,
I really admire your writing and generally agree with your advice, but I think you were, well off the mark, with the advice to the Not-So-Newlywed Bride. You did say — accurately in my …

The Vine: March 22, 2001
March 22, 2001 · No Comment

I've been with my girlfriend for more than two years. I'm happy, but lately I have been acting retarded. She is super cute and charming and she took this class, and met this guy. He …

The Vine: March 21, 2001
March 21, 2001 · No Comment

Dear Emily…uh, I mean Sarah,
I'm in dire need of some wedding-gift etiquette.
My husband and I got hitched in the summer of 1999, and our best man gave us the gift of a voucher for several …

The Vine: March 20, 2001
March 20, 2001 · No Comment

Dear Sarah,
I love your site, and your advice seems on target to me, so maybe you could help me out.
Here's the situation: I'm in college, and I'm sharing a house with four other people. I'm …

I Don't Look Fat
March 20, 2001 · No Comment

An entire cottage industry of humor — or, more accurately, "humor" — has sprung up around the following apocryphal sequence of events: woman emerges from dressing room, bathroom, or other outfitting alcove; woman strikes pose …