"I wrote 63 songs this year. They're all about Jeter." Just kidding. The game we love, the players we hate, and more.

Culture and Criticism

From Norman Mailer to Wendy Pepper — everything on film, TV, books, music, and snacks (shut up, raisins), plus the Girls' Bike Club.

Donors Choose and Contests

Helping public schools, winning prizes, sending a crazy lady in a tomato costume out in public.

Stories, True and Otherwise

Monologues, travelogues, fiction, and fart humor. And hens. Don't forget the hens.

The Vine

The Tomato Nation advice column addresses your questions on etiquette, grammar, romance, and pet misbehavior. Ask The Readers about books or fashion today!

The Vine: April 30, 2001
April 30, 2001 · No Comment

One really really important thing that I think you left off is that this eighth grader was at one point wearing a PLAYBOY shirt.

The Vine: April 27, 2001
April 27, 2001 · No Comment

Hi Sarah,
I have a friend who I'm very worried about. She is 17 like me and has been with her current boyfriend for well over two years, but he treats her as if she is …

The Vine: April 26, 2001
April 26, 2001 · No Comment

Hi Sars,
I have some advice for Amanda S. — try checking out a Unitarian church (Unitarian Universalist in the USA). Okay, this sounds like I'm an evangelical asshole, but bear with me a moment. Unitarianism …

The Vine: April 25, 2001
April 25, 2001 · No Comment

Sars, you are one of the funniest people I know and you give really awesome advice but I gotta say something about that whole "talking at the baseball game" thing. I totally agree that games …

The Vine: April 24, 2001
April 24, 2001 · No Comment

In regards to the letter from Manny Ramirez:
Whoa, whoa, whoa…
No, they weren't in a law library, but all too often I and my friends find ourselves the unwitting "participants" of other people's conversations. Who is …

The Vine: April 23, 2001
April 23, 2001 · No Comment

Dear Sars,
Yesterday, I attended the Red Sox/Yankees game with someone I had never met before, but with whom I had had some previous email conversations. So as you could imagine, we spent a good deal …

The Vine: April 20, 2001
April 20, 2001 · No Comment

Dear Sars,
Love your site, especially love The Vine. When I read the letter from "Argh," all sorts of bells and alarms went off. The fact that she said that she has been diagnosed with ADD …

Movie Madness
April 20, 2001 · No Comment

Last night — the night of the first truly warm day of spring — I couldn't get to sleep. That happens to me a lot on Sunday nights. I settle into bed with a book, …

Film Fatal
April 20, 2001 · No Comment

And now, part two of my examination of the AFI Greatest 100 Films Of All Time list…although I don't know if it's an examination so much as a display of my ignorance of classic film. …

45 Reasons To Hail The Return Of Yankee Baseball
April 20, 2001 · No Comment

1. The return of warm weather.
2. …followed by the return of hot weather…
3. …followed by the return of "it's too damn hot and sticky to do a damn thing except lie on the floor in …