"I wrote 63 songs this year. They're all about Jeter." Just kidding. The game we love, the players we hate, and more.

Culture and Criticism

From Norman Mailer to Wendy Pepper — everything on film, TV, books, music, and snacks (shut up, raisins), plus the Girls' Bike Club.

Donors Choose and Contests

Helping public schools, winning prizes, sending a crazy lady in a tomato costume out in public.

Stories, True and Otherwise

Monologues, travelogues, fiction, and fart humor. And hens. Don't forget the hens.

The Vine

The Tomato Nation advice column addresses your questions on etiquette, grammar, romance, and pet misbehavior. Ask The Readers about books or fashion today!

The Vine: September 1, 2000
September 1, 2000 · No Comment

Okay, so I've been married for three months. My husband's been having a rough time lately. His job is incredibly stressful. The man who has been a father figure to him all his life has …

The Vine: August 31, 2000
August 31, 2000 · No Comment

My boyfriend and I have been going out for over a year now and I love him to bits but he's so frustrating.At the moment we are on a one-week break trying to sort out …

The Vine: August 30, 2000
August 30, 2000 · No Comment

Dear Sarah,
My brother and his fiancée will be getting married in a couple of weeks. This should be a time of joy, togetherness and warm family feeling.Well, the family feeling has been anything but warm …

The Vine: August 29, 2000
August 29, 2000 · No Comment

I very recently discovered your site and among other things have been checking out the advice you've been giving in The Vine over the past few weeks. I think you do a great job of …

In A Twist
August 19, 2000 · No Comment

I hired an intern recently – namely, my brother Mr. Stupidhead. It's working out really well; not only can I send him out into the world to deal with obnoxious errands like going to (read: …

Annals Of Birth Control
August 19, 2000 · No Comment

Every twenty-eight days or so, I find myself standing on the sidewalk in front of my neighborhood drugstore, taking deep cleansing breaths and thinking good karmic thoughts so that I don't blow my stack and …

August 19, 2000 · 7 Comments

I've probably read Charlotte's Web fifty times. I love that book, I love Charlotte the spider, and I always cry at the end when her little ballooning babies take to the wind. And I know …

Fashion Plotz
August 19, 2000 · No Comment

I don't know that I have the necessary qualifications to comment on women's fashion. Right now, I have on a v-neck t-shirt from J. Crew that dates back to the Bush administration, men's Gap cargo …

Desert Jewel
August 19, 2000 · No Comment

I went to Las Vegas for the first time five years ago. I worked for the brand-new electronic publishing division of an established publishing company at that time, and two weeks before the Comdex convention, …

The Vine: August 9, 2000
August 9, 2000 · No Comment

Mr. Stupidhead joins me in the booth again today. Two Buntings, no waiting.
Okay, here goes…For the past three years or so, I've been friends with this guy I'll call Ryan. His friends and my friends …