"I wrote 63 songs this year. They're all about Jeter." Just kidding. The game we love, the players we hate, and more.

Culture and Criticism

From Norman Mailer to Wendy Pepper — everything on film, TV, books, music, and snacks (shut up, raisins), plus the Girls' Bike Club.

Donors Choose and Contests

Helping public schools, winning prizes, sending a crazy lady in a tomato costume out in public.

Stories, True and Otherwise

Monologues, travelogues, fiction, and fart humor. And hens. Don't forget the hens.

The Vine

The Tomato Nation advice column addresses your questions on etiquette, grammar, romance, and pet misbehavior. Ask The Readers about books or fashion today!

Know Thine Emmy
July 16, 1998 · No Comment

On August 29, the Academy Of Television Arts And Sciences will dole out this year’s Emmy Awards. Let’s not discuss the fact that typing the words "Academy Of Television Arts And Sciences" gave me a …

U.S. Highway One: Straight No Chaser (Part 2)
June 16, 1998 · No Comment

Welcome to the conclusion of my U.S. Highway 1 adventure highlights. As I drove further south, I crossed not only state lines but also the fine line between confusion and outright annoyance. For example . …

Clothes Make The Man
June 16, 1998 · No Comment

In general, I dislike making generalizations about men, because it seems as though every time I take a swallow of my pint of Bass and gesture importantly with my cigarette while expounding on the similarity …

The Penthouse Proofreader's FAQ
June 16, 1998 · No Comment

Last week, after two years as a proofreader, I quit my job at Penthouse Magazine. Yes, "that Penthouse Magazine." I have had some exceedingly random jobs in my life – from stable hand to church …

I Mind Your Manners
June 16, 1998 · No Comment

During my formative years, I cannot count how many times my mother looked around the dinner table at me and my younger brother and then covered her eyes with her hand and sighed in despair. …

U.S. Highway One: Straight, No Chaser (Part 1)
June 16, 1998 · One Comment

Back in May of '98, I drove U.S. Highway 1 from the top to the bottom. For the geographically challenged in the crowd, U.S. 1 runs from Fort Kent, Maine to Key West, Florida – …

McCartney Agonistes
May 16, 1998 · One Comment

I heard of Linda McCartney’s passing from my mother, who sent me an e-mail saying she felt very much saddened by Linda’s death. "It seems to be the beginning of the end of an era, …

Not So Sacred Monster
May 16, 1998 · No Comment

One evening last fall, the Disco Biscuit and I walked out the front door of my building to find the entire block bathed in the glare of klieg lights. Other residents of the building stood …

E-Nough Already
May 16, 1998 · No Comment

When I log into my e-mail account at work, I know exactly what I will find there. I work as an alumnae records assistant, not exactly the top rung of the academic ladder by any …

The Hobey Diaries
April 16, 1998 · No Comment

The other day, while giving my apartment a long-overdue spring cleaning, I found a number of things – a handful of small change lodged in between the cushions of my couch, a dry cleaner’s receipt …