"I wrote 63 songs this year. They're all about Jeter." Just kidding. The game we love, the players we hate, and more.

Culture and Criticism

From Norman Mailer to Wendy Pepper — everything on film, TV, books, music, and snacks (shut up, raisins), plus the Girls' Bike Club.

Donors Choose and Contests

Helping public schools, winning prizes, sending a crazy lady in a tomato costume out in public.

Stories, True and Otherwise

Monologues, travelogues, fiction, and fart humor. And hens. Don't forget the hens.

The Vine

The Tomato Nation advice column addresses your questions on etiquette, grammar, romance, and pet misbehavior. Ask The Readers about books or fashion today!

Throw Her Back
January 16, 1998 · No Comment

Last week, I caught a cold. Despite my prickly exterior, I have a basically generous nature, so I passed my upper respiratory infection along to the Disco Biscuit. When Friday night arrived, we both had …

Ow, Quit It
January 16, 1998 · No Comment

As a teenager, I didn’t really go to shows. First of all, most of the groups and performers I listened to in high school had either died or broken up before I was even born. …

Watch The Teeth
January 16, 1998 · No Comment

I can’t imagine that I have to fill any of you in on the gory details of l’affaire Lewinsky, since the media saturation level has begun to make the OJ Simpson trial look like a …

Everybody Was Kung-Fu Fighting
March 11, 1997 · No Comment

It all began when I walked into Tiger Schulmann's Karate Center on 19th Street. I don't know why I decided to go in and have a look-see. Maybe I wanted a new and exciting workout …

Trebek Est Morte, Vive Trebek
March 11, 1997 · No Comment

To: All And Sundry
From: J. Cortlandt Higginbotham, Head Writer, Jeopardy!
Re: New Format
Dear Fellow Jeopardy! Writers,
Welcome back from the holiday break — I hope you all feel relaxed and ready to tackle a new season.
As you …

Let Us Give Thanks
March 11, 1997 · No Comment

Thanksgiving — a holiday devoted to the uniquely American pastime of gratuitous overindulgence. But much though I love the gut-busting element of this celebration, I feel as though I should give some thanks for various …

Heaven On Earth
March 11, 1997 · No Comment

Five years ago, I broke up with a boy. I went out with this boy for only a brief time — three months — but somehow I had managed to fall in love with him. …

Greenie Meanies
March 11, 1997 · No Comment

The other day, the Disco Biscuit bought me a present. Apparently, nothing says "I love you" like fattening food, because he got me a box of Girl Scout Cookies.
And now, a medium-length sidebar on my …

Less Is Moore
March 11, 1997 · No Comment

G.I. Jane, since opening nationwide a few weeks ago, has done a decent business at the box office. G.I. Jane — a movie that should never have survived the pitch meeting, with a star that …

Jane D'oh!
March 11, 1997 · No Comment

I picked up a copy of the new women's magazine on the block, published by Jane Pratt and handily titled JANE, last week. I have to admit that I fell for the advertising campaign — …