"I wrote 63 songs this year. They're all about Jeter." Just kidding. The game we love, the players we hate, and more.

Culture and Criticism

From Norman Mailer to Wendy Pepper — everything on film, TV, books, music, and snacks (shut up, raisins), plus the Girls' Bike Club.

Donors Choose and Contests

Helping public schools, winning prizes, sending a crazy lady in a tomato costume out in public.

Stories, True and Otherwise

Monologues, travelogues, fiction, and fart humor. And hens. Don't forget the hens.

The Vine

The Tomato Nation advice column addresses your questions on etiquette, grammar, romance, and pet misbehavior. Ask The Readers about books or fashion today!

StairMaster To Heaven
March 11, 1996 · Comments Off on StairMaster To Heaven

Every morning when I wake up, I turn on The Today Show.I do this partly to drown out the meowing of a hungry feline; partly to find out what the weather is doing, since finding …

The Smokies
March 11, 1996 · Comments Off on The Smokies

For weeks before taking my vacation — and I have, as of this writing, fled my sweaty Manhattan digs for the more relaxing and cat-hair-free pastures of Cape Cod — I pondered how to write …

Rolling Stone'd
March 11, 1996 · Comments Off on Rolling Stone'd

Last weekend, I went out to brunch by myself.I tucked my smokes into my back pocket and my Rolling Stone under my arm and headed around the way to the Gemini Diner.I wanted to read …

The Pod People
March 11, 1996 · Comments Off on The Pod People

A couple of weeks ago, an old friend and I headed to a bar for its weekly Ladies Night.We found the concept of Ladies Night — undoubtedly devised by a sly heterosexual male in order …

Playing By The Rules
March 11, 1996 · One Comment

Last week, on one of my perambulations through the aisles of Barnes and Noble, I spotted a little book that had caused quite a stir both in the self-help community and among feminist folk for …

Perspective Check
March 11, 1996 · Comments Off on Perspective Check

I spent most of this afternoon on my back on the kitchen floor.My air conditioning unit is installed in the kitchen window, so I stationed myself in the kitchen with a book of short stories …