Comments on: 25 And Over http://tomatonation.com/stories-true-and-otherwise/25-and-over/ better red than dead Sat, 11 Feb 2012 18:11:39 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v= By: Life List #1 « Post-Graduate Pie http://tomatonation.com/stories-true-and-otherwise/25-and-over/comment-page-4/#comment-79834 Life List #1 « Post-Graduate Pie Wed, 18 Jan 2012 04:51:03 +0000 http://tomatonation.com/?p=838#comment-79834 [...] I’ve been thinking a lot about being an adult, because my birthday is around the corner and to me 25 seems like the first real “I am a grown up now!” birthday. Maybe because of this. [...] [...] I've been thinking a lot about being an adult, because my birthday is around the corner and to me 25 seems like the first real "I am a grown up now!" birthday. Maybe because of this. [...]

]]> By: Order 50 Ltd » I still need to learn some of these lessons! Yipe. http://tomatonation.com/stories-true-and-otherwise/25-and-over/comment-page-4/#comment-79801 Order 50 Ltd » I still need to learn some of these lessons! Yipe. Mon, 16 Jan 2012 18:38:59 +0000 http://tomatonation.com/?p=838#comment-79801 [...] 25 And Over « Tomato Nation [...] [...] 25 And Over « Tomato Nation [...]

]]> By: shir http://tomatonation.com/stories-true-and-otherwise/25-and-over/comment-page-4/#comment-74160 shir Thu, 25 Aug 2011 09:42:16 +0000 http://tomatonation.com/?p=838#comment-74160 This is bloody amazing and rather funny! Thankyou for that proper slap everyone should have given us at 21! This is bloody amazing and rather funny! Thankyou for that proper slap everyone should have given us at 21!

]]> By: UK Bob http://tomatonation.com/stories-true-and-otherwise/25-and-over/comment-page-4/#comment-72814 UK Bob Wed, 06 Jul 2011 13:05:34 +0000 http://tomatonation.com/?p=838#comment-72814 I am 27 and have first hand experience that these rules are "necessary for your continued survival". To be fair to myself it was largely not my fault - I've developed an instinct for most of these rules naturally. While I am happy to contribute more than my fair share unfortunately, I do not/have not always had the resources to. I also have a medical condition that forbids me from driving, which makes it very difficult not to have rely on others every now and again. Which I hate doing. My friends that I had grown up with always *said* that they understood these things, but in our early-mid 20s I could sense that they were starting to think of me as a burden. I would do my best, but as they started earning a lot more than I did, wanted to do things that required getting about a lot, holidays etc. I couldn't do anything but get in the way of their plans; and even though they never said anything explicitly to my face, I think they started to resent me a little. I moved to the other side of the city a couple of years ago and I have barely seen them since, despite me trying to arrange meet ups several times. I have known these friends for 15 years and have now been unofficially ostracized by them. I miss them. TO ALL OF YOU OUT THERE WHO CAN FOLLOW THESE RULES: even your closest friends/family/partners will not appreciate having to carry you through life. Not only is it the considerate thing to do, not to have to continuously rely on others is fulfilling! A UK perspective on tipping: If it is the case that the US national minimum wage for service people takes into account a 20% or so tip, and that service people are taxed assuming that they receive this additional income, surely as a considerate adult from whatever cultural background (the tone of the article) you would tip the full 20% if you could afford it? Coming from the UK, hearing that waiters and waitresses have a minimum wage of just $3 - $4 is shocking. As a considerate adults in a democracy, isn't there also a wider duty (I'm trying not to be preachy, sorry if I'm coming across that way) to guide our society towards equal social opportunities and reasonable living conditions for all. I am 27 and have first hand experience that these rules are "necessary for your continued survival". To be fair to myself it was largely not my fault – I've developed an instinct for most of these rules naturally. While I am happy to contribute more than my fair share unfortunately, I do not/have not always had the resources to. I also have a medical condition that forbids me from driving, which makes it very difficult not to have rely on others every now and again. Which I hate doing.

My friends that I had grown up with always *said* that they understood these things, but in our early-mid 20s I could sense that they were starting to think of me as a burden. I would do my best, but as they started earning a lot more than I did, wanted to do things that required getting about a lot, holidays etc. I couldn't do anything but get in the way of their plans; and even though they never said anything explicitly to my face, I think they started to resent me a little.

I moved to the other side of the city a couple of years ago and I have barely seen them since, despite me trying to arrange meet ups several times. I have known these friends for 15 years and have now been unofficially ostracized by them. I miss them.

TO ALL OF YOU OUT THERE WHO CAN FOLLOW THESE RULES: even your closest friends/family/partners will not appreciate having to carry you through life. Not only is it the considerate thing to do, not to have to continuously rely on others is fulfilling!

A UK perspective on tipping:

If it is the case that the US national minimum wage for service people takes into account a 20% or so tip, and that service people are taxed assuming that they receive this additional income, surely as a considerate adult from whatever cultural background (the tone of the article) you would tip the full 20% if you could afford it?

Coming from the UK, hearing that waiters and waitresses have a minimum wage of just $3 – $4 is shocking. As a considerate adults in a democracy, isn't there also a wider duty (I'm trying not to be preachy, sorry if I'm coming across that way) to guide our society towards equal social opportunities and reasonable living conditions for all.

]]> By: Sarah D. Bunting http://tomatonation.com/stories-true-and-otherwise/25-and-over/comment-page-4/#comment-67357 Sarah D. Bunting Sun, 30 Jan 2011 17:29:41 +0000 http://tomatonation.com/?p=838#comment-67357 Nowhere do I say that heels are required for ladies. Here's what I say: "If you wear heels, know how to operate them." IF. IF IF IF. Nowhere do I say that heels are required for ladies. Here's what I say: "If you wear heels, know how to operate them." IF. IF IF IF.

]]> By: Yas http://tomatonation.com/stories-true-and-otherwise/25-and-over/comment-page-4/#comment-67354 Yas Sun, 30 Jan 2011 12:26:29 +0000 http://tomatonation.com/?p=838#comment-67354 I actually disagree with a lot of these: 1. Remember to write thank-you notes. I do not know *anyone* who writes thank you notes anymore (and this includes people I know who are in their 50s/60s/70s), and would never expect one back anyhow. A verbal "thank you" is enough. 7. Know how to calculate the tip Thank goodness I live in Britain, that's all I can say! I am very glad we are not obliged to tip unless we feel the service was good. 8. Do not share the crazy dream you had last night with anyone but your mental wellness professional. Why? If a friend, no matter what their age, tells me their crazy dream, I care enough to listen and often find it very interesting. 9. Learn to walk in heels. Again, why? Another massive assumption that ALL women must and do wear heels, despite the fact they mess up your feet and causes a lot of health problems. You want to encourage knee, feet and back problems on women by insinuating that if they don't wear heels they are immature? Last two points I very much agree with! Although to be fair,most of this is just common sense. I actually disagree with a lot of these:

1. Remember to write thank-you notes.
I do not know *anyone* who writes thank you notes anymore (and this includes people I know who are in their 50s/60s/70s), and would never expect one back anyhow. A verbal "thank you" is enough.

7. Know how to calculate the tip
Thank goodness I live in Britain, that's all I can say! I am very glad we are not obliged to tip unless we feel the service was good.

8. Do not share the crazy dream you had last night with anyone but your mental wellness professional.
Why? If a friend, no matter what their age, tells me their crazy dream, I care enough to listen and often find it very interesting.

9. Learn to walk in heels.
Again, why? Another massive assumption that ALL women must and do wear heels, despite the fact they mess up your feet and causes a lot of health problems. You want to encourage knee, feet and back problems on women by insinuating that if they don't wear heels they are immature?

Last two points I very much agree with!
Although to be fair,most of this is just common sense.

]]> By: Sarah D. Bunting http://tomatonation.com/stories-true-and-otherwise/25-and-over/comment-page-4/#comment-67328 Sarah D. Bunting Sat, 29 Jan 2011 16:34:45 +0000 http://tomatonation.com/?p=838#comment-67328 It's interesting, the fear response this piece provokes in some people. This isn't about anything I wrote, not really ("snitching"? henh?). It's about what you're afraid of becoming. I understand that people's take on thank-you notes differs widely, but generally speaking, "common courtesy" and "grabbing your ankles for The Man" aren't in the same area code, and I'm consistently amazed at how often this piece is taken for the latter when it's really about the former. Taking a second, now and then, to consider and acknowledge other people in your daily life will not melt your special-snowflakey essence in a furnace blast of Orwellian sameness. Jeez. It's interesting, the fear response this piece provokes in some people. This isn't about anything I wrote, not really ("snitching"? henh?). It's about what you're afraid of becoming. I understand that people's take on thank-you notes differs widely, but generally speaking, "common courtesy" and "grabbing your ankles for The Man" aren't in the same area code, and I'm consistently amazed at how often this piece is taken for the latter when it's really about the former.

Taking a second, now and then, to consider and acknowledge other people in your daily life will not melt your special-snowflakey essence in a furnace blast of Orwellian sameness. Jeez.

]]> By: Funky http://tomatonation.com/stories-true-and-otherwise/25-and-over/comment-page-4/#comment-67324 Funky Sat, 29 Jan 2011 11:40:51 +0000 http://tomatonation.com/?p=838#comment-67324 The official middle-class white collar guide for how to be a middle-class white collar person. Devoid of fun, wit, drive, charisma, hope, and any sense of self-worth. On top of this laundry list of must do's in order to be considered "acceptable" by "society" you must also suck your bosses ass, be a submissive little sheep, go home every day and sit right down on the couch until you are drunk and pass out, pretend to be nice to people you hate because you lack the balls to express yourself any longer for fear the constable will come and remove you. Snitch on your friends, develop horrible habits through pretending to be someone you are not simply because other people believe it is prudent. Finally, remain in a loveless marriage because "its the right thing to do" until one of you either files for divorce or murders the other by poisoning the same food you have shared for years. Have a happy, joyless, uneventful, boring joke of a life and fade away into the annals of time another easily forgotten wasteful consumer. Thats a good sheep. Baa. The official middle-class white collar guide for how to be a middle-class white collar person. Devoid of fun, wit, drive, charisma, hope, and any sense of self-worth. On top of this laundry list of must do's in order to be considered "acceptable" by "society" you must also suck your bosses ass, be a submissive little sheep, go home every day and sit right down on the couch until you are drunk and pass out, pretend to be nice to people you hate because you lack the balls to express yourself any longer for fear the constable will come and remove you. Snitch on your friends, develop horrible habits through pretending to be someone you are not simply because other people believe it is prudent. Finally, remain in a loveless marriage because "its the right thing to do" until one of you either files for divorce or murders the other by poisoning the same food you have shared for years. Have a happy, joyless, uneventful, boring joke of a life and fade away into the annals of time another easily forgotten wasteful consumer. Thats a good sheep. Baa.

]]> By: Emily http://tomatonation.com/stories-true-and-otherwise/25-and-over/comment-page-4/#comment-67310 Emily Sat, 29 Jan 2011 02:55:04 +0000 http://tomatonation.com/?p=838#comment-67310 One of the most important things that my mother ever taught me, and she reminded me of it on my 25th birthday a few days ago, was this: "You're not going to please everyone all the time. Be yourself, be respectful, and if others don't like it, tough." Several of these items are very good advice. Others, however, sound like the personal preferences of a person who has put a huge burden on herself to behave perfectly all the time. For example, it's nobody's business what I wipe my nose on or what paper products I own in general. Several people at work and outside of work enjoy telling me their dreams, and I enjoy listening. College plans are still interesting for those of us who are about to attend grad school, I find thank-you notes annoying and outdated, and I simply will never be able to walk in heels (although, for the record, I don't try). But the rest of it -- sure. One of the most important things that my mother ever taught me, and she reminded me of it on my 25th birthday a few days ago, was this: "You're not going to please everyone all the time. Be yourself, be respectful, and if others don't like it, tough."

Several of these items are very good advice. Others, however, sound like the personal preferences of a person who has put a huge burden on herself to behave perfectly all the time. For example, it's nobody's business what I wipe my nose on or what paper products I own in general. Several people at work and outside of work enjoy telling me their dreams, and I enjoy listening. College plans are still interesting for those of us who are about to attend grad school, I find thank-you notes annoying and outdated, and I simply will never be able to walk in heels (although, for the record, I don't try).

But the rest of it — sure.

]]> By: Haifaa http://tomatonation.com/stories-true-and-otherwise/25-and-over/comment-page-4/#comment-66919 Haifaa Wed, 19 Jan 2011 00:39:30 +0000 http://tomatonation.com/?p=838#comment-66919 Im 25 very soon! And this post is so passé... come on... who wanna live like this? Maybe u had enough of life when u turned 25 and walked into the shady world and set of rules and behaviour created by mainstream society... Anarchy to the spirit :) Hugs and Kizzzes and all the nasty things we write and do when we are ALIVE and wanna do them... :D Im 25 very soon! And this post is so passé… come on… who wanna live like this? Maybe u had enough of life when u turned 25 and walked into the shady world and set of rules and behaviour created by mainstream society… Anarchy to the spirit :)

Hugs and Kizzzes and all the nasty things we write and do when we are ALIVE and wanna do them… :D

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