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Home » Stories, True and Otherwise

Word Of The Day: "chianteeth"

Submitted by on February 16, 2011 – 9:01 AM9 Comments

chianteeth (kee-ahn-teeth). n. 1. Discoloration of the teeth, lips, and tongue due to consumption of red wine. 2. The relative state of inebriation accompanying said discoloration, and resulting difficulty in denying same. Syn.: "grin-ot noir," "sangio-face."

"Horrified by the rictus of chianteeth she sported in many of the photos from Portia's wedding, Hazel was forced to untag herself in all of them on Facebook."

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9 Comments »

  • Anne-Cara says:

    Oh god, do those wine wipes actually exist? And if yes, where can I get some?

  • Sarah D. Bunting says:

    @A-C: The graphic should be linked, but in case it isn't working: winewipes.com

  • Scarlettb says:

    This is at least 40% of the reason I only drink white wine, not red. (The other 60% involves the high likelihood that I will spill some of it down my front, and my hatred of engaging in stain removal processes.)

  • Rachel says:

    Excellent word! This condition is known as "the purps" around here, though.

  • Kelly says:

    I know the condition as "wineers," like veneers, but after a glass or ten of red.

  • Louisa says:

    I don't know how true it is, but I heard eating cheese before having red wine puts down a film of fat or salt or magical cheese particles that stops the wine staining your teeth. Since I can't tell the difference between wine and vinegar myself, I haven't tested it.

  • Felis says:

    @Scarlettb: For what it's worth, the stain remover of choice which my MIL swears by is blue Dawn (must be blue Dawn for the "power scrubbers") mixed with a little peroxide. Apply directly to stain, wait a couple of minutes to let it work, then rinse. I've tried it and it works! Takes the red-wine stain (or grape juice stain or whatever) right out of the carpet, table cloth, upholstery, you-name-it!

  • Ben says:

    @Felis I totally thought you were talking about using that solution for the chianteeth… not the spilling of wine on garments and such.

  • SaidBlacksmith says:

    Oxyclean. I used this when I worked for Cirque- the patrons would often spill wine on the actors when they ran through the audience.
    I just recently used this when I spilled the last half of a glass upon falling asleep watching a movie… turns green then just fades… takes about an hour, but don't leave it on overnight- it will fade the fabric.

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