Baseball

"I wrote 63 songs this year. They're all about Jeter." Just kidding. The game we love, the players we hate, and more.

Culture and Criticism

From Norman Mailer to Wendy Pepper — everything on film, TV, books, music, and snacks (shut up, raisins), plus the Girls' Bike Club.

Donors Choose and Contests

Helping public schools, winning prizes, sending a crazy lady in a tomato costume out in public.

Stories, True and Otherwise

Monologues, travelogues, fiction, and fart humor. And hens. Don't forget the hens.

The Vine

The Tomato Nation advice column addresses your questions on etiquette, grammar, romance, and pet misbehavior. Ask The Readers about books or fashion today!

Home » Archive by Tags

Articles tagged with: dear ’80s we get it love Sarah

Goin' All The Way, Day 7: The slow dance
May 21, 2013 – 8:13 AM | 7 Comments
Goin' All The Way, Day 7: The slow dance

Put your heads on my shoulder: $24,331 at this writing, with almost nineteen thousand students reached and 172 projects completed! Almost halfway there: remember, 50K gets you a prom.

Small Sacrifices: Inappropriation
December 26, 2012 – 1:00 PM | 5 Comments
<I>Small Sacrifices</I>: Inappropriation

The crime
Diane Downs, a postal worker, claimed a burly stranger had carjacked her and her three children, shooting one fatally and leaving the other two permanently impaired. At least she didn't blame an African-American male…but …

The Crushed Film Festival presents: Tex
March 26, 2012 – 8:06 AM | 23 Comments
The Crushed Film Festival presents: <I>Tex</I>

The Movie: Tex
The Crush Object: Jim Metzler
The Story: Tex McCormick (Matt Dillon, rocking the standard-issue lank-haired butt-cut of the era) is having the customary operatic S.E.-Hinton-verse adolescence: his mother died of pneumonia when he was …

Cultural Blind Spots: Footloose and Lost in Translation
July 19, 2011 – 1:36 PM | 26 Comments
Cultural Blind Spots: <I>Footloose</I> and <I>Lost in Translation</I>

Owned the soundtrack on LP as a kid; still love the soundtrack, despite the sticky synth and the portentous Kenny Loggins; never saw Footloose before. It's a pleasant surprise. The premise is utterly contrived, and …

21 Jump Street: "Next Generation"
March 29, 2011 – 10:12 AM | 8 Comments
<I>21 Jump Street</I>: "Next Generation"

The Plot: A teacher with financial problems gets beaten up, and because notorious loan shark Tony Delaplant's son Hoagy (…seriously) attends the school, it's assumed that one of them is involved. Hanson is sent in …

21 Jump Street: "Blindsided"
March 21, 2011 – 4:26 PM | 8 Comments
<I>21 Jump Street</I>: "Blindsided"

The Plot: Hanson and Penhall go undercover in one of their habitual guises, the McQuaid brothers, for one of Jump Street's habitual drills: buy drugs in increasing quantities from a couple of middlemen in an …

The Tomato Nation Fall Classic: 0 For 2
October 6, 2010 – 11:25 AM | 32 Comments
The Tomato Nation Fall Classic: 0 For 2

Y'all raised for $300 the Jackie Robinson Foundation and Pitch In For Baseball yesterday, so as promised, I've posted my prom pictures. My date is cropped out to protect his anonymity, but he's wearing a …

The Tomato Nation Fall Classic: Sophomore Slump
October 5, 2010 – 11:16 AM | 16 Comments
The Tomato Nation Fall Classic: Sophomore Slump

1988 Sarah says, "Let's celebrate $6,481 with a styrofoam garland and a gigantic sweater!"
Sadly, I could not find any pictures dating from my freshman year; you'll just have to take my word that my school …

The Tomato Nation Fall Classic: School Days
October 4, 2010 – 9:13 AM | No Comment
The Tomato Nation Fall Classic: School Days

Little did Mabel know she would soon dress as a tomato for the amusement of strangers…
In this morning's batch of email, Classmates.com threatened me with the following information: "We have a 1987 yearbook from [my …

21 Jump Street: "Don't Pet The Teacher"
December 11, 2009 – 8:00 PM | 8 Comments
<I>21 Jump Street</I>: "Don't Pet The Teacher"

"Shut Up, Penhall" Count: 1 0! It's a Christmas miracle!
Nighttime at a high school whose physical plant is modeled after the Taj Mahal.A synthesizer plinks disapprovingly as a mysterious hand pink-spray-paints the phrase "Weintraub bites …