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“I wrote 63 songs this year. They’re all about Jeter.” Just kidding. The game we love, the players we hate, and more.

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From Norman Mailer to Wendy Pepper — everything on film, TV, books, music, and snacks (shut up, raisins), plus the Girls’ Bike Club.

Donors Choose and Contests

Helping public schools, winning prizes, sending a crazy lady in a tomato costume out in public.

Stories, True and Otherwise

Monologues, travelogues, fiction, and fart humor. And hens. Don’t forget the hens.

The Vine

The Tomato Nation advice column addresses your questions on etiquette, grammar, romance, and pet misbehavior. Ask The Readers about books or fashion today!

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Articles tagged with: hilare

Contest: Master Tomatohead
October 25, 2009 – 9:06 PM | 43 Comments
Contest: Master Tomatohead

Harder than it looked to execute, given Squirmy McGiggleton’s interesting in teething on the tomato leaf, but: baby in tomato, as promised.

Contest/Support Local Biz: Asirda, Greg Heffley, and PayPal
October 15, 2009 – 9:29 PM | 12 Comments
Contest/Support Local Biz: Asirda, Greg Heffley, and PayPal

I just said a mouthful!
An odd and an end first: 1) my review of Jeff Kinney’s Diary of a Wimpy Kid: Dog Days is up on Monkey See — great read, as usz (Kinney, not …

Contest: The Tomato Costume’s Adventures At DC HQ
October 2, 2009 – 3:29 PM | 4 Comments
Contest: The Tomato Costume’s Adventures At DC HQ

The tomato costume is taking a trip to Washington, DC this weekend for the DC AIDS Walk — but before it leaves, it’s hanging out at the Donors Choose offices in Manhattan.   It felt …

Adventures In Random DVR-Pausing: Josh Charles Tonsorial Fail Edition
September 30, 2009 – 12:28 AM | 22 Comments
Adventures In Random DVR-Pausing: Josh Charles Tonsorial Fail Edition

Concept stolen from the boundlessly talented Joe R; image stolen from The Good Wife; hair stolen, evidently, from Mr. Wayne Newton.

21 Jump Street: “21 Jump Street, Part 1”
September 1, 2009 – 7:44 PM | 28 Comments
<I>21 Jump Street</I>: “21 Jump Street, Part 1”

Credits.Speaking of credit, I have to give it to the theme song: it’s unpleasant to listen to, and yet it gets stuck in my head every time.
A suburban family, the Weckerles, readies for supper.The dialogue …

“I was almost excommunicated in the second grade”
May 3, 2009 – 8:40 PM | 16 Comments

I never read the Sunday Times anymore, really, but I bought a copy of it today because I’m moving (no big whoop, just within Brooklyn, and more on that later but the moving process is …

DC Trip: Pix!
March 16, 2009 – 2:50 PM | 22 Comments
DC Trip: Pix!

The TN Flickr group is here; you can also see a more complete catalog — including my utterly graceless carousel dismount, and a few snaps in which I look 1) drunk and 2) about to …

May I introduce Professor Nevermet Catsbefore
January 7, 2009 – 6:29 PM | 41 Comments

I cannot stop laughing.   Cannot!   I don’t know if it’s the blur of angry pets, the “okay, here’s the thing: NO SIR” expression on the lefthand cat’s face, or what, but 1) that …

Odds; ends
December 18, 2008 – 8:20 PM | 20 Comments

A comprehensive piece by Omar G on Twittiquette/Twitter annoyances.
My new favorite site, via Glark: Sexy People.
My latest Dirty Sexy Money write-up for SOAPnet.   (SHUT UP, LISA.)

Two embarrassing things
November 6, 2008 – 11:10 AM | 41 Comments
Two embarrassing things

1. Thing the first: you know how you keep seeing the ads for Stylista and saying aloud, “Please, who would watch that?”   I would, as it turns out.     AND I LOVE IT. …