The Movie: Tex
The Crush Object: Jim Metzler
The Story: Tex McCormick (Matt Dillon, rocking the standard-issue lank-haired butt-cut of the era) is having the customary operatic S.E.-Hinton-verse adolescence: his mother died of pneumonia when he was …

"Shut Up, Hanson" count: 7
 
Generic high-school name du jour: Lincoln
The Plaintive Piano of Our National Pastime As Symbol of Sundered Innocence plinks as high-school pitcher Johnny Hartmann (Patrick Breen, a Hey, It's That Guy! who …

…Wait, it's already the episode where Jenko gets killed?But he's my favorite character!I ask you: who among us will honor his memory by cutting the rebop? Not this episode, which, although it contains both a …