I hired an intern recently – namely, my brother Mr. Stupidhead. It’s working out really well; not only can I send him out into the world to deal with obnoxious errands like going to (read: …

I bitch about clichés for a living: movie clichés, television clichés, clichés about the supposed differences between men and women. Still, clichés enter the language – and stick around long after we’ve tired of hearing …

A few years ago, Tim Burton came out with a book called The Melancholy Death Of Oyster Boy, a book of extremely depressing little poems about children with oyster shells for heads and fins instead …

Welcome to the first installment of The Canon According To Tomato Nation, a list of the books and authors you’ll find on my bookshelves (and in my closet, and stacked in piles beside my bed, …

When I go home to visit my parents for the weekend, my trajectory when I first arrive at the house always follows the same path: from the back door to the front hall, where I …

I never buy People. I never even leaf through it at the doctor’s office; I’d rather read a four-month-old issue of Parenting. Even an unapologetic pop-cultivore like me has to draw the line somewhere, and …

Okay, people, can we get started? Okay. I hope someone remembered to get me some cigarettes – okay, thank god. Pass that ashtray down here and let’s get this over with.
The first order of business …

Last week, after two years as a proofreader, I quit my job at Penthouse Magazine. Yes, “that Penthouse Magazine.” I have had some exceedingly random jobs in my life – from stable hand to church …

I picked up a copy of the new women’s magazine on the block, published by Jane Pratt and handily titled JANE, last week. I have to admit that I fell for the advertising campaign — …

Last weekend, I went out to brunch by myself.I tucked my smokes into my back pocket and my Rolling Stone under my arm and headed around the way to the Gemini Diner.I wanted to read …