Dear Sarah,

I was best friends with a girl for 17 years. She was going through a tough time, and I tried to be there for her. One day out of the blue, she stopped talking to me and became very hostile (she did the same thing to her boyfriend of many months), and soon she moved to the other side of the country. I made a couple of attempts to talk to her before she left, but they were met with utter disdain.

It’s been over a year, and I’ve got her address and phone number from a mutual friend. Should I give contacting her a shot?

Thanks,
Nina Gordon who misses her Louise Post

Dear Nina,

Louise thanked you for your supportiveness by treating you like crap.Then she moved far away and didn’t bother to get in touch with you again.You aren’t a friend she wants, it seems, and she’s not a friend at all.

Miss her if you like, but leave her alone.That’s clearly what she wants, and you’ll just cause yourself more pain if you don’t respect that, even if she’s got crappy reasons.

[12/6/00]

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