“Midwestern Summers” sounds like he/she has a rather common skin disorder called keratosis pilaris. It’s essentially how they’ve described it — the pores can’t clean out the dead skin cells fast enough, so you get little bumps that are fun to pick at and not so pretty. I’ve had it for most of my life (it’s hereditary through my dad’s side), though it supposedly gets better once you’re through adolescence and your twenties.

Things I’ve had success with:

1. Don’t use a loofah, but rather one of those bath poof things. It’s not going to tear up your bumpy skin, but it helps exfoliate.

2. Cocoa butter lotion during the day, several times a day (Suave’s is just fine), heavy hand cream at night (shea butter is a godsend), especially during the driest parts of winter and summer. Oil doesn’t help. Lotioning just after the shower is critical.

3. Sunblock (especially during the summer) helps, too. If you get sunburned, your skin will peel, adding to the grossness, and tanning just thickens the skin, which makes it even easier to clog the pores.

Other things to try:

1. Lots of folks swear by alpha hydroxy lotions, but I never had much luck with them.

2. Clay facial masks can help draw out the clogs in your pores, but they also dry your skin out a lot, so this is not something to do every day, or every week.

In general, just stop picking at them. It irritates your skin, makes you susceptible to infections, and leaves gross scars. Besides, if you don’t obsess about it, nobody will probably even notice it. My boyfriend has never once complained about bumpy arms.

Sign me,
Bumpy, yet bodacious

Not picking at it is key. Again, moisturizing was something I tried that wasn’t really “trying” anything so much as knowing from talking to various other women that a ton of people have the bumps and nobody cares, so fuck it.

Other suggestions appear below; as usual, the ones mentioned more than once are starred.

a lotion containing alpha hydroxy acids (Neutrogena or Paula Begoun, www.cosmeticscop.com)*
a lotion containing lactic acid*
Neutrogena Skin Smoothing Body Lotion*
Lubriderm unscented lotion*
cod liver oil caps
Olay’s Moisturinse
switch to unscented detergent and soap
exfoliate with a soapy washcloth
Lush’s Dream Cream
KP Duty from dermadoctor.com
glycolic acid lotion*
Carmol 40
Olay Quench
pumice stone
Eucerin Plus*
organic olive oil
EO Products pumice scrub
Neutrogena’s Ultra Sheer Dry Touch sunscreen*
salicylic acid gel
Mango Butter from the Body Shop
baking soda
loofah once a week, moisturize twice a day
Aveeno body lotion
Aveeno body wash
Cetaphil cream (comes in a tub)
Sephora’s Tend Skin
Cetaphil body lotion
salt scrub
oatmeal bath oil
Dove soap
Dermilogica’s Exfoliating Body Scrub
Glytone body lotion
Dr. Scholl’s Ultra Overnight foot cream
Amlactin*
Peter Thomas Roth products
apply baby oil in the shower, let it sit for a minute, then rinse
Neostrata Skin Smoothing Lotion
go to a dermatologist*
Vanicream
Jergens Skin Firming formula (the stuff in the tub is preferred)

Dear Readers,

I have a problem. My wristwatches…smell bad.

I know why; it’s been a hot summer, I’m a dewy lass, I wear pretty big watches and they don’t “breathe” much, et cetera. My question is what to do about it — how to get rid of that sour dead-skin smell without damaging the watch. (Or, preferably, having to take the damn thing apart.)

My first instinct is to go over the whole back of it with a Q-Tip dipped in rubbing alcohol, but I’m also not sure if the smell is lodged in the back or in the strap as well. I think it’s just the back, but if it’s the straps…Paul Frank watchbands are a bitch to replace, so I’d rather just use leather cleaner, if that would work.

Maybe I should just switch to a pocket watch.

Anyway: How do I clean the watch, back and/or straps, without hurting it? NB: I’m looking for “this happened to me and I did this” answers, not “well, you could try” answers. I “could try” buying a new watch, too, but what I need is proven solutions.

Thanks!

Sarah

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Hey Sars,

I love your writing and your advice and I appreciate that you are willing to answer the crazy English usage questions. I was writing in my blog about the movie Dracula 2000 (I have no good excuse for this so don’t ask) and I put that I was willing to “suspend my disbelief” regarding the supernatural.

Is this correct or should it be “suspend my belief”?

Thanks much,
J

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Dear J,

It’s “suspension of disbelief.” It’s a literature/theater term, which you can find more background on here (and is it me, or has Wikipedia just blown up in the last few months? I feel like I’m on that site every day lately).

Suspension of disbelief is basically an agreement on the part of the reader or audience to just go with it — like, the folks who came to “The Famous Ghost Monologues” didn’t actually believe that there were ghosts in the theater, speaking to them, but in order to enjoy the story, they accepted certain elements of artifice. They met me halfway.

“Suspension of belief” would make sense, I guess, because if your belief is that you don’t think vampires exist, you’re suspending that in order to watch the movie…but the term is codified as “suspension of disbelief,” so.

[7/21/05]

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Tags:   Ask The Readers   grammar   health and beauty   rando