"I wrote 63 songs this year. They're all about Jeter." Just kidding. The game we love, the players we hate, and more.

Culture and Criticism

From Norman Mailer to Wendy Pepper — everything on film, TV, books, music, and snacks (shut up, raisins), plus the Girls' Bike Club.

Donors Choose and Contests

Helping public schools, winning prizes, sending a crazy lady in a tomato costume out in public.

Stories, True and Otherwise

Monologues, travelogues, fiction, and fart humor. And hens. Don't forget the hens.

The Vine

The Tomato Nation advice column addresses your questions on etiquette, grammar, romance, and pet misbehavior. Ask The Readers about books or fashion today!

The Vine: December 10, 2004
December 10, 2004 · No Comment

There's an Issue that has been slowly evolving in my relationship.
I'm hoping you haven't heard this one a thousand times before because I
really need an outside view and neither my friends nor his friends are …

The Vine: December 9, 2004
December 9, 2004 · No Comment

I divorced my wife three years ago leaving me a 28-year-old single father of two absent from the dating
scene for over a decade.
Three years later, I'm 31 years old and still single,
but that isn't …

The Vine: December 8, 2004
December 8, 2004 · No Comment

You are the best person to answer my problems as they are about grammar and the Yankees.Yay for you!
1. I'm writing this guy to tell him some documents are missing from a package he sent …

The Vine: December 7, 2004
December 7, 2004 · No Comment

Dear Sars,
Great websites, both. Here's a Vine question, or
rather issue, since I'm leaving out most of the
back-story on this one. How do you stop obsessing
about a guy you barely know, rarely see, can't ask out
yourself …

Frosty The Snowman…Is Melted
December 6, 2004 · No Comment

At a cocktail party last week, a guy told me that, actually, it's not just you — the onslaught of Christmasiana did start early this year. Usually, it just seems like the tinselly retail-driven barrage …

The Vine: December 3, 2004
December 3, 2004 · No Comment

Here's a grammar question that has been bothering me for awhile lately.I'm not sure how to word it so I'll give an example.Which of the following would be correct?

"She is an (extremely) gifted writer."
"She is …

The Vine: December 2, 2004
December 2, 2004 · No Comment

I used to get so angry when people would tell me that they would leave
the country if Bush were to retake the White House. There was no
better way of stopping a conversation dead than by …

Thanks But No Thanks
November 22, 2004 · No Comment

And now, a list of things I'm not very thankful for at all. Happily, it's short…
1. Cat hair. It took three quarters of one of those jumbo lint-rolly jobbers you get at the dry cleaner …

The Vine: November 19, 2004
November 19, 2004 · No Comment

Oh, wise and whimsical Sars,
I hope the heat/hot water issue is resolved soon; nice of the problem to make an appearance at the beginning of winter, eh?
Well, you've started it now.Your TN contest inspired me …

The Vine: November 18, 2004
November 18, 2004 · No Comment

Hey, Sars. Love your suit.
So I work for a smallish office — about 30 employees. On the swing shift, we number eight: two guys and six girls. For the most part, we all get along …