"I wrote 63 songs this year. They're all about Jeter." Just kidding. The game we love, the players we hate, and more.

Culture and Criticism

From Norman Mailer to Wendy Pepper — everything on film, TV, books, music, and snacks (shut up, raisins), plus the Girls' Bike Club.

Donors Choose and Contests

Helping public schools, winning prizes, sending a crazy lady in a tomato costume out in public.

Stories, True and Otherwise

Monologues, travelogues, fiction, and fart humor. And hens. Don't forget the hens.

The Vine

The Tomato Nation advice column addresses your questions on etiquette, grammar, romance, and pet misbehavior. Ask The Readers about books or fashion today!

Viva La Roombalución!
March 7, 2005 · 20 Comments

Chapter 1: Vrrrrrrrroomba!
I get home from the post office and the Roomba is all charged up and ready to go. I have provisionally named the Roomba "RoomBob," knowing that I will have to pick another …

The Vine: March 4, 2005
March 4, 2005 · No Comment

Hey Sars!
Sometimes I wish your site wasn't so brilliant because
I waste so much time on it…
A couple of grammar
questions for you: I know the rules for "who"/"whom" ("who"
is a subject, "whom" an object, not that …

The Vine: March 3, 2005
March 3, 2005 · No Comment

Hi Sars,
love the column and your site and tonight I ran into a situation that seemed right up
your alley.
My mom, stepdad and I just scored season tickets for a minor league team. It's close by
and …

The Vine: March 2, 2005
March 2, 2005 · No Comment

Dear loveliest and wise Sars,
I shall try to keep this as brief as possible but it's a relationship problem so please bear with me. Four years ago, I began talking to a guy online. He …

The Vine: February 24, 2005
February 24, 2005 · No Comment

Hi Sars. Sorry if this something like this has already been answered,
but I figured it was worth a shot.
My boyfriend (T) of a year and three months broke up with me a little
over a week …

The Vine: February 23, 2005
February 23, 2005 · No Comment

Hi Sars,
First of all I'd like to say that Tomato Nation is
wonderful. I'm here every day checking for a new article or
Vine. I'm sure you've heard this a million times, but you
Also, I think you …

The Vine: February 22, 2005
February 22, 2005 · No Comment

O Wise and Glorious Sars,
Love the site, love your advice. Need some assistance.
The story begins seven years ago, college. In one of those Greek group-mating rituals, my sorority was "paired" with a fraternity for a …

A Roomba Of One's Own
February 21, 2005 · One Comment

My birthday is in one month and one day, which puts it on a Tuesday, so my birthday itself, eh — but the lead-up to my birthday, in which I haunt my Amazon wish list's …

The Vine: February 18, 2005
February 18, 2005 · No Comment

Hi Sars,
I'm on the verge of a big life-defining decision, and trying to make it is
proving to be beyond me. I'd love to hear what you'd do in my situation, or
at least what factors you …

The Vine: February 17, 2005
February 17, 2005 · No Comment

Dear Sars,
I know you said your take on wedding etiquette is often at odds with that of your readership, but you seem to have your head on straight and I'd appreciate your advice. Let's get …