"I wrote 63 songs this year. They're all about Jeter." Just kidding. The game we love, the players we hate, and more.

Culture and Criticism

From Norman Mailer to Wendy Pepper — everything on film, TV, books, music, and snacks (shut up, raisins), plus the Girls' Bike Club.

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Stories, True and Otherwise

Monologues, travelogues, fiction, and fart humor. And hens. Don't forget the hens.

The Vine

The Tomato Nation advice column addresses your questions on etiquette, grammar, romance, and pet misbehavior. Ask The Readers about books or fashion today!

Girls' Bike Club VIII: You Had Me At "Heh"
May 2, 2005 · One Comment

Wing Chun: Hello?
Sarah: …Dude.
Wing Chun: …I know.
Sarah: Dude.
Wing Chun: I know.
Sarah: You know that scene in Jason and the Argonauts with the skeletons?
Wing Chun: I…don't think so.
Sarah: With the, where they're swarming?
Wing Chun: I'd remember …

The Vine: April 28, 2005
April 28, 2005 · Comments Off on The Vine: April 28, 2005

Hi Sars —
I have a question, but no idea who else to ask about
it. My boyfriend and I have been dating for about
four years now. We want to get married, but due to
lack of finances …

The Vine: April 27, 2005
April 27, 2005 · Comments Off on The Vine: April 27, 2005

Dear Sars,
I work in academic research, and recently, to my pleasure, my boss has started relying more heavily on me to edit her writing for journals, grant proposals, and reviews. I've used a couple of …

The Vine: April 26, 2005
April 26, 2005 · Comments Off on The Vine: April 26, 2005

O divine Sars,
I'm a senior in high school — turning 18 in less than a month — and I'm what could be considered a pretty good kid. My GPA is above a 4.0, I do …

The Laws With No Names
April 25, 2005 · One Comment

It's not often that a date that starts with margaritas strays into Googling the phrase "Nazis end argument," but hey, it's not that often that a date includes a blue Cosby sweater and Algerian conspiracy …

The Vine: April 22, 2005
April 22, 2005 · Comments Off on The Vine: April 22, 2005

Hi, Sars,One of the things I like about your advice is that you have no problem telling people when to step off and mind their own business. So obviously, my question is about whether I …

The Vine: April 21, 2005
April 21, 2005 · Comments Off on The Vine: April 21, 2005

Dear Sars,
I have only the highest admiration for you, truly. Which opening
sentence, of course, will alert you to the fact that I'm about to
disagree vehemently with something you've said and probably insult you
somewhere along the …

The Vine: April 20, 2005
April 20, 2005 · Comments Off on The Vine: April 20, 2005

Dear Sars,
Here's the situation. My cousin and I are the same age, 19, and go to the same college, where we are both sophomores. We live one dorm away from each other and share the …

The Vine: April 19, 2005
April 19, 2005 · Comments Off on The Vine: April 19, 2005

Its disingenuous to say its racists when the rich-brat correctly sees the connection between the word conversate and black people.
Even if you yourself have used the word, the majority of time I have seen that …

Ronco Dependent
April 18, 2005 · 2 Comments

I recently got cable hooked up in my home office, which is both a huge productivity drain and completely awesome, as I can now watch unlimited Cops reruns and classic Family Feuds while I work …