Baseball

"I wrote 63 songs this year. They're all about Jeter." Just kidding. The game we love, the players we hate, and more.

Culture and Criticism

From Norman Mailer to Wendy Pepper — everything on film, TV, books, music, and snacks (shut up, raisins), plus the Girls' Bike Club.

Donors Choose and Contests

Helping public schools, winning prizes, sending a crazy lady in a tomato costume out in public.

Stories, True and Otherwise

Monologues, travelogues, fiction, and fart humor. And hens. Don't forget the hens.

The Vine

The Tomato Nation advice column addresses your questions on etiquette, grammar, romance, and pet misbehavior. Ask The Readers about books or fashion today!

Thanks But No Thanks
November 22, 2004 · No Comment

And now, a list of things I'm not very thankful for at all. Happily, it's short…
1. Cat hair. It took three quarters of one of those jumbo lint-rolly jobbers you get at the dry cleaner …

The Vine: November 19, 2004
November 19, 2004 · No Comment

Oh, wise and whimsical Sars,
I hope the heat/hot water issue is resolved soon; nice of the problem to make an appearance at the beginning of winter, eh?
Well, you've started it now.Your TN contest inspired me …

The Vine: November 18, 2004
November 18, 2004 · No Comment

Hey, Sars. Love your suit.
So I work for a smallish office — about 30 employees. On the swing shift, we number eight: two guys and six girls. For the most part, we all get along …

The Vine: November 16, 2004
November 16, 2004 · No Comment

Sars,
Just read the most recent Vine, and Confetti's Mom might want to check out Dr. Pitcairn's Complete Guide to Natural Health for Dogs & Cats if drugs continue to give unsatisfactory results.I have a …

Freedom Of [Bleep]
November 15, 2004 · No Comment

NEW YORK (Hollywood Reporter) – The Federal Communications Commission has confirmed it received complaints about the uncensored broadcast of Oscar-winning war movie "Saving Private Ryan" on ABC-affiliated stations last week.An FCC official said several complaints …

The Vine: November 12, 2004
November 12, 2004 · No Comment

Hey Sars,
Love you and all the sites you have a hand in.
When you ran the recent letter asking what the big
deal was about gay marriage, why did anyone care about
other people's personal lives, I nodded …

The Vine: November 11, 2004
November 11, 2004 · No Comment

I just wanted to send a big THANK YOU to Book Lover for recommending booksforsoldiers.com.While the site requests books, it also requests birthday cards, Christmas cards, and pen pals for soldiers. I work in a …

The Vine: November 9, 2004
November 9, 2004 · No Comment

Dear Sars,
I'm in Indiana, so I feel dicked every which way I look.And when I woke up at 12:30 last night and checked the returns and saw that Ohio was going to Bush I cried …

Girls' Bike Club V: Then Go Away
November 8, 2004 · No Comment

Wing Chun: AAAAAAAAARRRRGGH!
Sarah: AAAAGGHHHH!
Wing Chun: RRRRRRRRR!
Sarah: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Wing Chun: WAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!
Sarah: UUUUUUUUUUHHHHHHHH!
Wing Chun: NOT!
Sarah: I KNOW!
Wing Chun: FUCK!
Sarah: SHIT!
Wing Chun: ASS! ASSHEAD!
Sarah: FUCKING…FUCKER!
Wing Chun: HATE!
Sarah: HATEY HATE!
Wing Chun and Sarah: HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATE!
Wing Chun: I CAN'T STOP SCREAMING!
Sarah: ME …

The Vine: November 5, 2004
November 5, 2004 · No Comment

Dear Sars:
Can you help me find a couple of programs to which I can donate some books?
They're in good condition, but eclectic in topic, to say the least. Most of
the programs I've seen want you …