"I wrote 63 songs this year. They're all about Jeter." Just kidding. The game we love, the players we hate, and more.

Culture and Criticism

From Norman Mailer to Wendy Pepper — everything on film, TV, books, music, and snacks (shut up, raisins), plus the Girls' Bike Club.

Donors Choose and Contests

Helping public schools, winning prizes, sending a crazy lady in a tomato costume out in public.

Stories, True and Otherwise

Monologues, travelogues, fiction, and fart humor. And hens. Don't forget the hens.

The Vine

The Tomato Nation advice column addresses your questions on etiquette, grammar, romance, and pet misbehavior. Ask The Readers about books or fashion today!

The Vine: September 21, 2004
September 21, 2004 · No Comment

Hey Sars,
I just had to write after reading Lost and Bewildered's letter about
identity after losing her mom.I lost my mom at roughly the same age
and went through much of what she describes.I second your advice …

Girls' Bike Club IV: Feeding Frenzy
September 21, 2004 · One Comment

Wing Chun: Hello?
Sarah: Helllloooooo!
Wing Chun: Hee. It's about time.
Sarah: Can you believe that?
Wing Chun: Well. It's not like he was known for his clean living.
Sarah: But…wait, who are we talking about?
Wing Chun: Rick…James? Aren't we?
Sarah: …

The Vine: September 17, 2004
September 17, 2004 · No Comment

Hi Sars,
I've been reading The Vine for almost a year now and finally decided to
try writing myself.
First of all, I'll try my best, but please pardon my grammar mistakes,
since I'm from non-English-speaking overseas.
Just a little …

The Vine: September 16, 2004
September 16, 2004 · No Comment

Dear Sars,
I'm not sure if I'm crazy or if this kind of
construction is actually wrong:

"My laptop is being temperamental today."
Isn't "is being" redundant? They're both forms of the
same verb, and "My laptop is temperamental today"
conveys …

Toy Crazy
September 15, 2004 · No Comment

To: The cats
From: The tall, exasperated food source to whom you never, ever listen
Re: Policy review
It has come to my attention of late — if by "of late" I mean "beginning in August of 1995" …

The Vine: September 15, 2004
September 15, 2004 · No Comment

Dear Sars,
So there's this boy.Psych.Actually it's a man.Actually it's a professor.
No, it's not that kind of problem.I just figured you needed a break from the
usual opening.
So I'm in the midst of a year-long directed studies …

The Vine: September 14, 2004
September 14, 2004 · No Comment

Hey Sars,
I love your site! I have a word that's been bothering me for years but I've
always been too lazy to actually find out if my annoyance is valid. I'm
referring to the overuse of the …

Still Here
September 13, 2004 · No Comment

It's still here. Things still happen on it. You've got a friend's birthday party written in it, and another friend's wedding. You know that a whole day can't go anywhere, really, but it seems like …

The Cape Cod League
September 9, 2004 · No Comment

Ninety-five percent of the ping-pong I've played, I've played on a single table. The table is in the basement of my aunt and uncle's house on Cape Cod, in the laundry room, and the house …

The Subheroes Chapter 7: Bedtime
September 3, 2004 · No Comment

Shelley told Olivia to sit on the brown couch in the office, so Olivia is sitting there, rubbing the strap of her bag with her thumb, watching Marie stick Post-It flags on a take-out menu. …