"I wrote 63 songs this year. They're all about Jeter." Just kidding. The game we love, the players we hate, and more.

Culture and Criticism

From Norman Mailer to Wendy Pepper — everything on film, TV, books, music, and snacks (shut up, raisins), plus the Girls' Bike Club.

Donors Choose and Contests

Helping public schools, winning prizes, sending a crazy lady in a tomato costume out in public.

Stories, True and Otherwise

Monologues, travelogues, fiction, and fart humor. And hens. Don't forget the hens.

The Vine

The Tomato Nation advice column addresses your questions on etiquette, grammar, romance, and pet misbehavior. Ask The Readers about books or fashion today!

The Vine: May 13, 2005
May 13, 2005 · Comments Off on The Vine: May 13, 2005

Hey Sars,
I've been living in the United States just on three years now (am a New Zealander, go All Blacks!) and apart from my accent, I haven't had many communication problems. Except just recently …

The Vine: May 12, 2005
May 12, 2005 · Comments Off on The Vine: May 12, 2005

Dear Sars,
I've read and enjoyed The Vine for years, but as a
many-times-published novelist I have to disagree strongly with your
advice to the aspiring writer in Thursday's column.
For one thing, what he needs most is not …

The Vine: May 11, 2005
May 11, 2005 · Comments Off on The Vine: May 11, 2005

Hi Sars,
Maybe you could help me with a twist on the all-too-common age difference question.
I go to a great church; I don't know what denomination it is exactly — let's just say it's evangelical. Anyway, …

The Vine, May 10, 2005
May 10, 2005 · Comments Off on The Vine, May 10, 2005

Hi Sars,
Long-time reader, love what you've done with the place.I've got a
roommate situation of sort.R., my roomie, is great overall.We get along
fine, the apartment is clean, the cat is happy…Living here is great.
The problem is …

Cirque Du Shut Up
May 9, 2005 · Comments Off on Cirque Du Shut Up

People: It is a bad mood of historic proportions over here. If a normal bad mood is…I don't know, a votive candle, then the current bad mood is the Hindenburg. And it's not even a …

The Vine: May 6, 2005
May 6, 2005 · Comments Off on The Vine: May 6, 2005

Hi Sars,
I love your site, and I especially love the Vine. Thanks for making my
workdays more pleasant!
I've been reading through your old archives recently, and I came
across "Down, Boy!" Now, I'm a grown woman, so …

The Vine: May 5, 2005
May 5, 2005 · Comments Off on The Vine: May 5, 2005

Hey Sars,
I'm a pretty solitary guy by nature.I just finished college, and afterward I moved
back to the city I ran away from, the city I grew up in.I made some wonderful
friends in college, but few …

The Vine: May 4, 2005
May 4, 2005 · Comments Off on The Vine: May 4, 2005

Hi Sars, I have a question for The Vine.Hopefully someone can laugh
at our misery, because it used to be funny for us, too.
My husband and I live in a ground-floor one-bedroom apartment.The
building is only two …

Girls' Bike Club VIII: You Had Me At "Heh"
May 2, 2005 · One Comment

Wing Chun: Hello?
Sarah: …Dude.
Wing Chun: …I know.
Sarah: Dude.
Wing Chun: I know.
Sarah: You know that scene in Jason and the Argonauts with the skeletons?
Wing Chun: I…don't think so.
Sarah: With the, where they're swarming?
Wing Chun: I'd remember …

The Vine: April 28, 2005
April 28, 2005 · Comments Off on The Vine: April 28, 2005

Hi Sars —
I have a question, but no idea who else to ask about
it. My boyfriend and I have been dating for about
four years now. We want to get married, but due to
lack of finances …