"I wrote 63 songs this year. They're all about Jeter." Just kidding. The game we love, the players we hate, and more.

Culture and Criticism

From Norman Mailer to Wendy Pepper — everything on film, TV, books, music, and snacks (shut up, raisins), plus the Girls' Bike Club.

Donors Choose and Contests

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Stories, True and Otherwise

Monologues, travelogues, fiction, and fart humor. And hens. Don't forget the hens.

The Vine

The Tomato Nation advice column addresses your questions on etiquette, grammar, romance, and pet misbehavior. Ask The Readers about books or fashion today!

The Vine: March 30, 2005
March 30, 2005 · One Comment

Hey Sars,
Love reading The Vine, and I'm always glad I don't have something so tragic
as to have to ask advice.
Anyway, I am a certified test counselor for HIV in Michigan, and I had a
thought after …

The Vine: March 29, 2005
March 29, 2005 · No Comment

Dear Sars,
After an exhaustive internet search, my friend and I have been unable to find the origin of the saying "Jinx! Buy me a Coke."
Any ideas?
Phrase origination challenged

Waking Up Is Hard To Do
March 28, 2005 · No Comment

Everyone has his or her own system of prying the old carcass out of bed in the morning. Mine involves careful placement of the alarm clock — not right next to the bed, but not …

The Vine: March 25, 2005
March 25, 2005 · No Comment

Some friends and I translate anime into English as a hobby, and being the
sticklers we are, we like to make sure that everything we do is as close
to being perfect as possible without going too …

The Vine: March 24, 2005
March 24, 2005 · No Comment

I've been casually dating X for about two months. This weekend, I got drunk with his roommates and some of their friends while he wasn't around (he knew I was doing this and was cool …

The Vine: March 22, 2005
March 22, 2005 · No Comment

Dear Sars,
I have a gross question and I want to apologize in advance for the gross-ness. I just started a new job about six weeks ago. I like it and can see myself being here …

Vanity Farewell
March 21, 2005 · No Comment

"VF pile" is currently an item on my to-do list. A chore, in other words. Current number of issues in the pile: two, a twelve-month low.
In order to afford anything advertised within, I would have …

The Vine: March 18, 2005
March 18, 2005 · No Comment

Dear Sars,
Since sometimes I can't tell when I'm reading Vine letters, let me say
up-front that I'm a 23-year-old girl. About three months ago, I met and
started dating a friend of my cousin, who has recently …

The Vine: March 17, 2005
March 17, 2005 · No Comment

To avoid future claimants of "I thought he was a jerk, but maybe he's
just autistic," you may want to clarify a few things about Asperger's.
Autism isn't just poor social skills/learning disabilities. In fact,
many people with …

The Vine: March 16, 2005
March 16, 2005 · No Comment

Hey, Sars,
I read the last letter of yesterday's Vine with interest, because it pertains to
my own career. Your advice to Beer was certainly correct, as far as it
went, but I think there may be a …