"I wrote 63 songs this year. They're all about Jeter." Just kidding. The game we love, the players we hate, and more.

Culture and Criticism

From Norman Mailer to Wendy Pepper — everything on film, TV, books, music, and snacks (shut up, raisins), plus the Girls' Bike Club.

Donors Choose and Contests

Helping public schools, winning prizes, sending a crazy lady in a tomato costume out in public.

Stories, True and Otherwise

Monologues, travelogues, fiction, and fart humor. And hens. Don't forget the hens.

The Vine

The Tomato Nation advice column addresses your questions on etiquette, grammar, romance, and pet misbehavior. Ask The Readers about books or fashion today!

Grieco Is Burning
April 11, 2005 · No Comment

How often do you end up talking about Richard Grieco three times in the space of a week? Not that often — fortunately — but please, dear readers, allow me to give you a short …

The Vine: April 8, 2005
April 8, 2005 · No Comment

Dear Sars,
There's a guy in my class at school — I'm the
equivalent of a senior — who I'll call Bob. We're in a lot of classes
together, and up until maybe two years ago I didn't …

The Vine: April 7, 2005
April 7, 2005 · No Comment

Dear Sars,
My problem is my life. I am 23 years old and just finished a post-graduate
teaching qualification. I don't have a job yet but plan on doing supply
until the right one (when a school says …

The Vine: April 6, 2005
April 6, 2005 · No Comment

Hi there,
When I went to school for my Bachelor Degree in journalism (Carleton
University, Ottawa), we were taught by a veeery particular professor
to go with this option when verbally indicating a quotation:
"The defendant stated quote I …

The Juice Is Loose
April 4, 2005 · No Comment

When spring training started, so did the emails, asking if I planned to write about steroids in baseball. I didn't plan to; I didn't want to. Like many baseball fans, I didn't want to think …

The Vine: April 1, 2005
April 1, 2005 · No Comment

Here's the deal: I've been going to a particular waxer, at a particular
spa, for over a year now. The prices are a bit steep, but honestly, this
particular waxer is worth it; if you've dabbled in …

The Vine: March 31, 2005
March 31, 2005 · No Comment

Dear Sars —
I'm getting married in about nine months (which is great!), and I have a sticky question about wedding guest etiquette. Unfortunately, the question also involves some screwy family politics.
My older brother is mentally …

The Vine: March 30, 2005
March 30, 2005 · One Comment

Hey Sars,
Love reading The Vine, and I'm always glad I don't have something so tragic
as to have to ask advice.
Anyway, I am a certified test counselor for HIV in Michigan, and I had a
thought after …

The Vine: March 29, 2005
March 29, 2005 · No Comment

Dear Sars,
After an exhaustive internet search, my friend and I have been unable to find the origin of the saying "Jinx! Buy me a Coke."
Any ideas?
Phrase origination challenged

Waking Up Is Hard To Do
March 28, 2005 · No Comment

Everyone has his or her own system of prying the old carcass out of bed in the morning. Mine involves careful placement of the alarm clock — not right next to the bed, but not …