"I wrote 63 songs this year. They're all about Jeter." Just kidding. The game we love, the players we hate, and more.

Culture and Criticism

From Norman Mailer to Wendy Pepper — everything on film, TV, books, music, and snacks (shut up, raisins), plus the Girls' Bike Club.

Donors Choose and Contests

Helping public schools, winning prizes, sending a crazy lady in a tomato costume out in public.

Stories, True and Otherwise

Monologues, travelogues, fiction, and fart humor. And hens. Don't forget the hens.

The Vine

The Tomato Nation advice column addresses your questions on etiquette, grammar, romance, and pet misbehavior. Ask The Readers about books or fashion today!

The Vine: April 21, 2004
April 21, 2004 · No Comment

Dear Sars,
Hey there, I'm hoping maybe you can help me with a wee problem I'm having.
I'm 21, and in my final year of university. Last year I moved off-campus into a shared house (our university …

The Vine: April 20, 2004
April 20, 2004 · No Comment

Hi Sars,
I've a family problem that is really nagging me. A
little history first.
I am an only child of elderly parents, and going to
school for the arts at the most prestigious college in
my state. Frankly, I'm …

The Famous Ghost Monologues, No. 22: Minerva Jane Dominski
April 19, 2004 · No Comment

I played it on the piano, I played it for my father, after supper. It was a trick to get the pedaling right, the notes ran together if I wasn't quick at it, but I …

The Vine: April 16, 2004
April 16, 2004 · No Comment

Dear Sars:
My husband and I are inexperienced party-throwers, and after much
deliberation we've finally decided to try our hand at entertaining. We sent
out invitations to friends we know from several different places, so that
everyone will have …

The Vine: April 15, 2004
April 15, 2004 · No Comment

Dear Sars:
My mother-in-law is great — really. Okay, most of the time. We're super-close; we shop, we go to the movies, we work together. My own mother lives almost a thousand miles away and I …

The Vine: April 14, 2004
April 14, 2004 · No Comment

Dear Sars,
I hooked up with this guy last week. He's a good friend, and let's say for the sake of this letter, there's a very good chance said hooking up will occur again.
The problem was…he …

The Vine: April 13, 2004
April 13, 2004 · No Comment

Dear Sars,
My situation basically addresses the question: Is there ever an
exception to the butt-out rule? The one about interfering in other
people's consenting relationships?
I'll try to condense this as much as possible, while not leaving out
anything …

Nine Reasons To Give Baseball Another Chance
April 12, 2004 · One Comment

It's okay if you don't like baseball. Truly, it is. I didn't like baseball either, at one time in my life. Of course, at the same time in my life, I had a gigantic crush …

The Famous Ghost Monologues, No. 21: Monday Neely and Travis Barber
April 9, 2004 · No Comment

Barber: That Stevie girl — she don't talk much, and of course you got folks like that in the world. Prewitt, now, Prewitt got plenty to say, he just don't do it out loud.
Neely: Just …

The Vine: April 8, 2004
April 8, 2004 · No Comment

Dear Sars,
I suppose, when you get right down to it, mine is not a dilemma of the upmost importance, but the subject is really beginning to strain some of my friendships. The issue? Abortion. And …