"I wrote 63 songs this year. They're all about Jeter." Just kidding. The game we love, the players we hate, and more.

Culture and Criticism

From Norman Mailer to Wendy Pepper — everything on film, TV, books, music, and snacks (shut up, raisins), plus the Girls' Bike Club.

Donors Choose and Contests

Helping public schools, winning prizes, sending a crazy lady in a tomato costume out in public.

Stories, True and Otherwise

Monologues, travelogues, fiction, and fart humor. And hens. Don't forget the hens.

The Vine

The Tomato Nation advice column addresses your questions on etiquette, grammar, romance, and pet misbehavior. Ask The Readers about books or fashion today!

The Vine: September 15, 2004
September 15, 2004 · No Comment

Dear Sars,
So there's this boy.Psych.Actually it's a man.Actually it's a professor.
No, it's not that kind of problem.I just figured you needed a break from the
usual opening.
So I'm in the midst of a year-long directed studies …

The Vine: September 14, 2004
September 14, 2004 · No Comment

Hey Sars,
I love your site! I have a word that's been bothering me for years but I've
always been too lazy to actually find out if my annoyance is valid. I'm
referring to the overuse of the …

Still Here
September 13, 2004 · No Comment

It's still here. Things still happen on it. You've got a friend's birthday party written in it, and another friend's wedding. You know that a whole day can't go anywhere, really, but it seems like …

The Cape Cod League
September 9, 2004 · No Comment

Ninety-five percent of the ping-pong I've played, I've played on a single table. The table is in the basement of my aunt and uncle's house on Cape Cod, in the laundry room, and the house …

The Subheroes Chapter 7: Bedtime
September 3, 2004 · No Comment

Shelley told Olivia to sit on the brown couch in the office, so Olivia is sitting there, rubbing the strap of her bag with her thumb, watching Marie stick Post-It flags on a take-out menu. …

The Vine: August 27, 2004
August 27, 2004 · No Comment

Hi Sars —
This is in response to the baseball rookie looking for answers to stupid baseball questions. The New Dickson Baseball Dictionary by Paul Dickson is AWESOME. I've found the answer to every dumb baseball …

The Vine: August 26, 2004
August 26, 2004 · No Comment

Hi Sars —
My problem: I have been dating a great guy for over four years. He is incredibly loving and sweet. I love spending time with him and want to spend the rest of my …

The Vine: August 25, 2004
August 25, 2004 · No Comment

O Sars, answerer of questions grammar, cat, and relationship:
There's this boy. But, surprise! The problem isn't with the boy, or any boy, for that matter. The issue is with my roommate. I'm in college and …

The Vine: August 24, 2004
August 24, 2004 · No Comment

Hi Sars,
I have a grammar question for you involving "toward" vs. "towards." Which is correct: "I'm heading toward the buffet" or "I'm heading towards the buffet"?
I've always wondered
Dear While You're Up, I'd Like Some More …

The Subheroes Chapter 6: Driver In Exile
August 23, 2004 · No Comment

Outside, the light has guttered down to the horizon behind the scrub pines, and the air is cool and soft like a sheet.
Inside, it's warmer. A loaf of bread is sitting on the counter, cut …