"I wrote 63 songs this year. They're all about Jeter." Just kidding. The game we love, the players we hate, and more.

Culture and Criticism

From Norman Mailer to Wendy Pepper — everything on film, TV, books, music, and snacks (shut up, raisins), plus the Girls' Bike Club.

Donors Choose and Contests

Helping public schools, winning prizes, sending a crazy lady in a tomato costume out in public.

Stories, True and Otherwise

Monologues, travelogues, fiction, and fart humor. And hens. Don't forget the hens.

The Vine

The Tomato Nation advice column addresses your questions on etiquette, grammar, romance, and pet misbehavior. Ask The Readers about books or fashion today!

The Vine: March 25, 2005
March 25, 2005 · No Comment

Some friends and I translate anime into English as a hobby, and being the
sticklers we are, we like to make sure that everything we do is as close
to being perfect as possible without going too …

The Vine: March 24, 2005
March 24, 2005 · No Comment

I've been casually dating X for about two months. This weekend, I got drunk with his roommates and some of their friends while he wasn't around (he knew I was doing this and was cool …

The Vine: March 22, 2005
March 22, 2005 · No Comment

Dear Sars,
I have a gross question and I want to apologize in advance for the gross-ness. I just started a new job about six weeks ago. I like it and can see myself being here …

Vanity Farewell
March 21, 2005 · No Comment

"VF pile" is currently an item on my to-do list. A chore, in other words. Current number of issues in the pile: two, a twelve-month low.
In order to afford anything advertised within, I would have …

The Vine: March 18, 2005
March 18, 2005 · No Comment

Dear Sars,
Since sometimes I can't tell when I'm reading Vine letters, let me say
up-front that I'm a 23-year-old girl. About three months ago, I met and
started dating a friend of my cousin, who has recently …

The Vine: March 17, 2005
March 17, 2005 · No Comment

To avoid future claimants of "I thought he was a jerk, but maybe he's
just autistic," you may want to clarify a few things about Asperger's.
Autism isn't just poor social skills/learning disabilities. In fact,
many people with …

The Vine: March 16, 2005
March 16, 2005 · No Comment

Hey, Sars,
I read the last letter of yesterday's Vine with interest, because it pertains to
my own career. Your advice to Beer was certainly correct, as far as it
went, but I think there may be a …

The Vine: March 15, 2005
March 15, 2005 · No Comment

Hi Sars, O Goddess of All Things,
I have one younger brother and one older half-brother. Said
half-brother never lived with us until he was about 13 and I was about
10. Half-brother had, at that point, a …

Girls' Bike Club VII: Your Friends And Neighbors
March 15, 2005 · No Comment

Wing Chun: Hello?
Sarah: Hi. Okay, here's the thing.
Wing Chun: Oh, dear.
Sarah: I know Kid Rock should go in the Girls' Bike Club. I know this.
Wing Chun: But you don't want him in it.
Sarah: No, I …

The Vine: March 11, 2005
March 11, 2005 · No Comment

Dear Sarah-with-an-H,
In response to Suzy's letter about unwanted nicknames and your point about
spelling names right, I was wondering if you have any advice
about how to respond when people spell names wrong, especially in email.
I don't …