"I wrote 63 songs this year. They're all about Jeter." Just kidding. The game we love, the players we hate, and more.

Culture and Criticism

From Norman Mailer to Wendy Pepper — everything on film, TV, books, music, and snacks (shut up, raisins), plus the Girls' Bike Club.

Donors Choose and Contests

Helping public schools, winning prizes, sending a crazy lady in a tomato costume out in public.

Stories, True and Otherwise

Monologues, travelogues, fiction, and fart humor. And hens. Don't forget the hens.

The Vine

The Tomato Nation advice column addresses your questions on etiquette, grammar, romance, and pet misbehavior. Ask The Readers about books or fashion today!

The Vine: February 8, 2005
February 8, 2005 · One Comment

Hi Sars,
I have an ethical dilemma, and I'd really like an opinion from someone who doesn't know me.
I recently got a very wonderful, fantastic internship, that is fun, relatively prestigious, and is giving me a …

Perfect Together
February 7, 2005 · 2 Comments

If I could ban a two-word phrase from the English language, any two-word phrase, I would pick one in particular immediately and without hesitation. No, not "Bush administration," because experience has sadly proven that ignoring …

The Vine: February 4, 2005
February 4, 2005 · No Comment

Hi Sars,
I have an embarrassing quandary for you that I have mentioned to no one else.
I'm afraid my boyfriend is gay.
Back story: Tom and I met four and a half years ago, when I was …

The Vine: February 3, 2005
February 3, 2005 · No Comment

Hey Sars,
My friend C and I were friends for about four years. We lived in the same town
for a year or so and instantly bonded. We had the same taste in music,
clothes, we were both …

The Vine: February 2, 2005
February 2, 2005 · One Comment

Dear Sars,
I am currently a senior in high school and have been
having a problem that began during freshman year with
one of my classmates.
Every morning when I come to school, I make sure to
greet him and …

The Vine: February 1, 2005
February 1, 2005 · One Comment

I have a salary-related question for you. I'm a college student, and have been working with the company I'm at for over a year now as a medical writer/grant writer/ghost writer/editorial and research assistant…you get …

Girls' Bike Club VI: Here's The Story
January 31, 2005 · No Comment

Wing Chun: Hello?
Sarah: Oh, hello.
Wing Chun: Oh, dear.
Sarah: Heh.
Wing Chun: Well, that isn't a "we haven't spoken in the phone in a while" "oh, hello."
Sarah: No, no, it isn't.
Wing Chun: That is a "guess who's …

The Vine: January 28, 2005
January 28, 2005 · No Comment

Dear Sars:
Respect and admiration are yours, oh wise guru, especially if you can help me out with this little dilemma.
I've written you before, and thought I might as well give you a try here, since …

The Vine: January 27, 2005
January 27, 2005 · No Comment

Hi Sars —
This isn't earth-shatteringly important, but I thought it couldn't hurt to
ask anyway. You said in a past Vine that you don't like Dickens' writing.
I was wondering — why not? Do you think it …

The Vine: January 26, 2005
January 26, 2005 · No Comment

Dear Sars,
I am a 25-year-old woman with a major attitude problem. See? I'm the first
one to admit it. But I don't know what to do about it, and I'm really
scared that it's going to ruin …