Baseball

"I wrote 63 songs this year. They're all about Jeter." Just kidding. The game we love, the players we hate, and more.

Culture and Criticism

From Norman Mailer to Wendy Pepper — everything on film, TV, books, music, and snacks (shut up, raisins), plus the Girls' Bike Club.

Donors Choose and Contests

Helping public schools, winning prizes, sending a crazy lady in a tomato costume out in public.

Stories, True and Otherwise

Monologues, travelogues, fiction, and fart humor. And hens. Don't forget the hens.

The Vine

The Tomato Nation advice column addresses your questions on etiquette, grammar, romance, and pet misbehavior. Ask The Readers about books or fashion today!

The Vine: May 6, 2005
May 6, 2005 · Comments Off on The Vine: May 6, 2005

Hi Sars,
I love your site, and I especially love the Vine. Thanks for making my
workdays more pleasant!
I've been reading through your old archives recently, and I came
across "Down, Boy!" Now, I'm a grown woman, so …

The Vine: May 5, 2005
May 5, 2005 · Comments Off on The Vine: May 5, 2005

Hey Sars,
I'm a pretty solitary guy by nature.I just finished college, and afterward I moved
back to the city I ran away from, the city I grew up in.I made some wonderful
friends in college, but few …

The Vine: May 4, 2005
May 4, 2005 · Comments Off on The Vine: May 4, 2005

Hi Sars, I have a question for The Vine.Hopefully someone can laugh
at our misery, because it used to be funny for us, too.
My husband and I live in a ground-floor one-bedroom apartment.The
building is only two …

Girls' Bike Club VIII: You Had Me At "Heh"
May 2, 2005 · One Comment

Wing Chun: Hello?
Sarah: …Dude.
Wing Chun: …I know.
Sarah: Dude.
Wing Chun: I know.
Sarah: You know that scene in Jason and the Argonauts with the skeletons?
Wing Chun: I…don't think so.
Sarah: With the, where they're swarming?
Wing Chun: I'd remember …

The Vine: April 28, 2005
April 28, 2005 · Comments Off on The Vine: April 28, 2005

Hi Sars —
I have a question, but no idea who else to ask about
it. My boyfriend and I have been dating for about
four years now. We want to get married, but due to
lack of finances …

The Vine: April 27, 2005
April 27, 2005 · Comments Off on The Vine: April 27, 2005

Dear Sars,
I work in academic research, and recently, to my pleasure, my boss has started relying more heavily on me to edit her writing for journals, grant proposals, and reviews. I've used a couple of …

The Vine: April 26, 2005
April 26, 2005 · Comments Off on The Vine: April 26, 2005

O divine Sars,
I'm a senior in high school — turning 18 in less than a month — and I'm what could be considered a pretty good kid. My GPA is above a 4.0, I do …

The Laws With No Names
April 25, 2005 · One Comment

It's not often that a date that starts with margaritas strays into Googling the phrase "Nazis end argument," but hey, it's not that often that a date includes a blue Cosby sweater and Algerian conspiracy …

The Vine: April 22, 2005
April 22, 2005 · Comments Off on The Vine: April 22, 2005

Hi, Sars,One of the things I like about your advice is that you have no problem telling people when to step off and mind their own business. So obviously, my question is about whether I …

The Vine: April 21, 2005
April 21, 2005 · Comments Off on The Vine: April 21, 2005

Dear Sars,
I have only the highest admiration for you, truly. Which opening
sentence, of course, will alert you to the fact that I'm about to
disagree vehemently with something you've said and probably insult you
somewhere along the …