"I wrote 63 songs this year. They're all about Jeter." Just kidding. The game we love, the players we hate, and more.

Culture and Criticism

From Norman Mailer to Wendy Pepper — everything on film, TV, books, music, and snacks (shut up, raisins), plus the Girls' Bike Club.

Donors Choose and Contests

Helping public schools, winning prizes, sending a crazy lady in a tomato costume out in public.

Stories, True and Otherwise

Monologues, travelogues, fiction, and fart humor. And hens. Don't forget the hens.

The Vine

The Tomato Nation advice column addresses your questions on etiquette, grammar, romance, and pet misbehavior. Ask The Readers about books or fashion today!

The Vine: June 12, 2004
June 12, 2004 · No Comment

I'm going to spare you the gory details of this one and stick to the short
version.I hope I manage to include all relevant details.
Last year I was
visiting my parents and "friends from home" for the …

Girls' Bike Club II: The Girls'-Bikening
June 11, 2004 · One Comment

Wing Chun: Okay — not to obsess about Girls' Bike Club over here, but you know who we forgot, and who's the GBC president emeritus?
Sarah: Who?
Wing Chun: Billy Joel.
Sarah: Ohhhh yeah. Man, he just wrecked …

The Vine: June 10, 2004
June 10, 2004 · No Comment

Dear Sars,
Maybe you can give me an outsider's opinion and some advice regarding one of my best friendships:
I met my friend, C, when we were kids — specifically, he was 10 and I was 12. …

The Vine: June 9, 2004
June 9, 2004 · No Comment

Thanks for all the responses on "octopodes." The consensus seems to be that it's a word adopted from the Greek "octopous," so it's really the only word to which the rule applies in re: a …

The Vine: June 8, 2004
June 8, 2004 · No Comment

Hi Sars,
I have a big ol' 20-pound maine coon named Frank. He's 6 and a half and
loves to rule the household. He has lived with a cat before, but it never
especially agreed with him.
I'm pretty …

Girls' Bike Club
June 7, 2004 · No Comment

Sarah: Do you happen to know if there's a planet in retrograde?
Wing Chun: Why, because Reagan died?
Sarah: You know, I hadn't even thought of that. I could totally count that. My hair, Hobey's teeth, J.Lo …

The Vine: June 4, 2004
June 4, 2004 · No Comment

Dear Sars,
I have longed to be lambasted by you but my common sense works pretty well so I haven't had anything to ask you. Until now, and even now my common sense says I have …

The Vine: June 3, 2004
June 3, 2004 · No Comment

Hi Sars –
I have a problem and I need advice. Okay, let's start
from the beginning. There was a Boy who worked with
me…and we hooked up. Months went by and we were
discreet, no one knew. No …

The Vine: June 2, 2004
June 2, 2004 · No Comment

To The Grammar Goddess,
Someone in my office insists that everyone use the word "finished" when a
task is complete. Every time one of us says, "We're done," she says, "Meat is
done. You are finished." We're all …

The Vine: June 1, 2004
June 1, 2004 · No Comment

Hi Sars!
A couple of months ago I was browsing in a used
bookstore and bought a massive, unabridged, library-style dictionary.I cannot tell you how many hours I
have spent looking up words and being a big dictionary
dork …