"I wrote 63 songs this year. They're all about Jeter." Just kidding. The game we love, the players we hate, and more.

Culture and Criticism

From Norman Mailer to Wendy Pepper — everything on film, TV, books, music, and snacks (shut up, raisins), plus the Girls' Bike Club.

Donors Choose and Contests

Helping public schools, winning prizes, sending a crazy lady in a tomato costume out in public.

Stories, True and Otherwise

Monologues, travelogues, fiction, and fart humor. And hens. Don't forget the hens.

The Vine

The Tomato Nation advice column addresses your questions on etiquette, grammar, romance, and pet misbehavior. Ask The Readers about books or fashion today!

The Vine: January 15, 2005
January 15, 2005 · No Comment

Thank you so much for your answer to Vegan. I've been a vegetarian my entire 40 years (not a vegan — need the cheese) so certainly qualify to comment. In those 40 years I've inadvertently …

The Vine: January 13, 2005
January 13, 2005 · No Comment

Dear Sars,
I have an extremely close family. We see each other daily, have a family business together, et cetera.
My sister, who is a lot older than me, got divorced two years ago from a guy …

The Vine: January 12, 2005
January 12, 2005 · No Comment

I can really feel for Mr. Feminist — I was his feminist friend. I still
own two copies of The Natural Superiority of Women, though I couldn't tell
you where they are. I attended Radical Lesbisan Feminist …

The Vine: January 11, 2005
January 11, 2005 · No Comment

Dear Sars,
I am curious to hear your thoughts on my Christmas dilemma.
I will start by giving you some background on all the players. I got married earlier this year to someone whose parents live several …

Us, Weakly
January 10, 2005 · No Comment

Let me just say right up front that I don't have a problem with celebrity journalism per se. I don't disapprove of gossip, God knows, or think that it's any particular shame that movie stars …

The Vine: January 7, 2005
January 7, 2005 · No Comment

Here's the deal. I was kind of dating this guy for
about eight months, then he got back with his
ex-girlfriend. I'm having his child, but he doesn't
want anything to do with it (he already has two …

The Vine: January 6, 2005
January 6, 2005 · No Comment

Dear Sarah,
I have a problem with a co-worker. Or to be more precise, she has a
with me.
We are both members of a small, close-knit department.
Although she
is senior to me in age and status in the …

Auld Lang Whine
January 5, 2005 · 2 Comments

So, I decided to move the week before Christmas, which, who in this fine old world has better timing than I? Nobody. No. Body. Well, maybe my own sinuses, which — coated in a shag …

The Vine: December 16, 2004
December 16, 2004 · No Comment

A question for the Grammar Goddess:
I work in chemistry lab, and we have a softball team called "The Degenerate HOMOs."
This is really funny if you're a chemist, I promise.
Anyway, my question regards the HOMO bit. …

The Vine: December 15, 2004
December 15, 2004 · No Comment

Wedding etiquette inquiry for you, o wise one.Okay, here's the deal.I've been dating the girlfriend for about a year and a half.We're not engaged, but pretty much as soon as I find some time to …