Dear Sarah,

I was invited to a wedding by a childhood friend of mine who I haven’t been in touch with or seen in four years.My entire family is attending although I don’t feel like going.There’s no love lost between us, but I know that my family will let me have it over this.My husband says, “So what?We barely know her.Why are we invited?”

I ask you, how long are childhood friends important?Because you share history with people, does that bind you to them and obligate you to attend their functions indefinitely . . . aggghhh!Come on . . . enough already!Why can’t some people just let go?

Kuchitabi in the Bronx

Dear Kuchitabi,

I’m unclear on what you’re asking me, here.Do you want me to tell you that you don’t have to go the wedding?Do you want suggestions on how to decline the invitation?I don’t have a pat answer for your stated question, “how long are childhood friends important,” because it depends on the childhood friend.Most of my girlhood pals have scattered to the four winds, but one of them lives eight blocks away from me and she’s still one of my dearest friends.

Not to sound like too much of a cynic, but the long-lost friends who will come out of the woodwork when there’s a gift registry involved never cease to amaze me.That said, if it doesn’t involve prohibitive travel arrangements, maybe you should just suck it up and go to the wedding to keep the peace with your family.As an invited guest, you’re now obligated to buy the couple a gift anyway, so you might as well get a party out of it, but if you’re opposed to this on principle, decline the invite, donate money to a charity in the name of the bride and groom, and explain to your family that you barely know this woman anymore and you don’t feel like pretending that the two of you are still close.

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