I’ve been dating my befriend for nine months, but I have actually known him for
two years. This past weekend I took him home with me to attend the wedding of
my best friend from high school. We stayed at my aunt’s house, who raised me
from the time I was nine. She called me today to tell me that two of her
very expensive rings were missing. Well, you can guess who she suspects in
the disappearance of the jewelry. My boyfriend.

I have known this boy for a long time. He has never lied to me or to anyone
else that I know about. Nor have I ever heard of him stealing anything. He
comes from a strong Christian background, and though he is not longer
practicing, those kind of beliefs — learned in childhood — don’t just walk out
the door for no reason. Plus, he has a steady job making $12 an hour
(plenty of money when you live in the south). He has no pressing bills that
he can’t afford. The stupidity of the crime doesn’t fit either, since I
would obviously find out about it. My aunt seems to think that I might not
know him as well as I think I do. But damn, he fusses at me if I walk out
of the restaurant with their pen.

I don’t know what to think. Obviously, I
can’t do too much about it. I really love this guy, and I don’t want my
aunt thinking negatively about him. I also don’t want to be placed in a
situation where I have to choose between my aunt and my boyfriend. That
would just royally suck.

Anyway, I just thought I would throw this your way and see what you thought. Thanks a lot.

Rowan

I work part-time in retail, and there is a lady I work with, let’s call her “Carrie,” who is in a position of what would be equivalent to an assistant manager in our department. Carrie is known for giving lots of orders while not doing much of anything herself. Even the people who run the store know, but for some reason she has been there since the store opened. Since I started working there last May, we have had three different managers. The first manager, “Melissa,” had been in the department the longest, was aware of Carrie’s behavior, and occasionally would say something to Carrie when we came to her. Our second manager was much more responsive when we approached her, but all this did was make Carrie call in “sick” for a few days after they talked to her. Now we have a new manager, “Christina,” and she has let it be known that she does NOT want to hear anything about what Carrie does or doesn’t do.

To top this off, Carrie has now begun to take credit for things she did not do. For example, she will instruct us to vacuum or organize a section or what have you, and then when Christina comes in the next day, Carrie will tell her that “so-and-so and I did [insert project here].” When Christina came to the department, she implemented a “communications book,” anyone can write things that they want Christina to know. So now most of us have taken to writing down everything that we did during our shift and who did what; in case Carrie tries to take credit for something, what really happened will be in writing.

So what I want to know is, do you think that there is anything more we can do? Especially since everyone who is in a position to do something knows about the situation, but doesn’t do anything. It is very frustrating when everyone in the department is running around straightening and putting things away, and all Carrie does is stand there and say, “You go girl!” Like, shut up. She never pulls her weight, and I doubt she ever will.

Thanks in advance,
Annoyed in the Ladies Department

I was hoping you could help me with something. It’s about love.

I’m 23 and I’ve always had a boyfriend. Yeah, for the last eight years I’ve gone
from one dude to another, mostly long-term relationships, and seriously,
those guys are my best friends, the only people that really KNOW me. I have
a different sort of relationship with each of them, and I love them to
death. I don’t really have any close girlfriends; I never really got along
well with girls.

I’ve been in a relationship for a few years now with the same guy, living
together for the last couple years, blah blah. He’s 28, and wants to get
married next summer. I have conflicting thoughts about this. Primarily, I
don’t know for sure if I really buy into this whole marriage thing. I don’t
see the point of it, really. Or rather, I don’t see myself being good at it.
And secondly, when I talk to the-people-who-know-me-best about it, they’re
all very…skeptical. They don’t think I’d be good at it either, and that
kind of freaks me out. Honestly, I don’t know what to think of myself. Deep
down, I don’t think it’s right to believe that only one person can keep you
satisfied for the rest of your life; frankly, I don’t think it’s true. I
can’t put all my eggs in one basket and feel good about it, I don’t think.
But I don’t feel right about the alternative either, and I assume that’s
because I have no experience being single. I could want to live with this
guy for the rest of my life, but I can’t promise that I’ll always feel that
way — I mean, who could? You can’t promise that sort of thing.

However, given my track record, it seems I’m a firm believer in
partnerships. I love this guy, and I see a future with him. Besides the
obvious fact that I have doubts about the institution of marriage, what I’m
not sure of is whether these doubts are legitimate, and worthy of
considerable consideration? Everyone says, and it’s so cheesy, “You know
when you know” — what is that crap? Doesn’t everyone secretly have these
doubts?

The big question: Am I normal?

Capricorn

I have a huge problem. I am an undergraduate double major in philosophy and French. That’s it, that’s my problem. No…wait…there is more. I have a serious procrastination problem. It is so bad that I find myself doing one or two all-nighters EVERY WEEK. Literal all-nighters. Not one minute of sleep. I need to stop this, especially if I am going to grad school. (Why yes, I am a glutton for punishment, thanks for asking.)

So…any advice? What do you do when you don’t feel like writing?

Thanks,
Slowly going insane

My husband works for a very large and popular surf company; I’ll call them
“Trendy Brand X.” He has worked there for nearly two years, and in this time has
never received any kind of pay or merit increase — he is at the same salary
as when he started two years ago. Every year at the annual appointed time, the
company holds their reviews and doles out bonuses, increases, et cetera. For the
last two years, his department VP — I’ll call him “Evil Scum” — has told my
husband’s department that due to budget restraints, there would not be any
raises. Evil Scum said that it encompassed the entire department, even
himself, which totals about ten people.

This year, it was no surprise when my husband was told that yet again,
there would be no pay increases. Instead, his department was told that they
were lucky to be employed at all. I argued that a cost-of-living increase of 3-4% was due to these folks, but
my husband countered with the “he’s lucky to have a job” line, and so I sat
quiet. Plus, my husband LOVES his job — hates the people he works for,
doesn’t particularly even care for the company, but LOVES his job.

About two weeks after the announcement was made, Trendy Brand X released their
financials, which showed that the company had increased profits in the
hundreds of millions, year over year, 2001 included. It seems that not even
September 11th could keep people out of the Trendy Brand X stores. This angered
me…my husband shook it off.

About a month ago, there was a temp working in my husband’s department doing
clerical things, and she was asked by Evil Scum to retrieve some financial
documents from the company network. (If you ask me, company networks should
be password protected, especially for financials…but no one ever asks me.)
Of course, this girl did. She also went ahead and shared the document with
the department managers, who were astonished. While they were told that the
department pay increases were “frozen” and that the budget could not
accommodate even cost-of-living increases, Evil Scum and his assistant,
“Horrible Bitch,” gave themselves raises (each year) in excess of $20,000.00.
Evil Scum took an additional $50k in 2001, and Horrible Bitch took $20k…while the rest of the department got nothing. These raises brought their
respective salaries to over $250,000 and $100,000 (while the rest of the
department, including my husband, makes less than $30,000). This is morally
reprehensible, and also highly illegal.

Just a few days later, Evil Scum and Horrible Bitch were confronted about
the financials, to which they had no answer. They said (and I quote), “What
we do with our department budget is up to us. You’re lucky just to have a
job, and if you don’t mind your own business, you won’t have that either.”

My husband just accepted a new job offer yesterday, and will be leaving
Trendy Brand X in two weeks. In fact, when he gave his letter of resignation
to Horrible Bitch, she had just driven up in her new Saab.

Personally, I want to file a claim with the Labor Board to more or less get
these two greedy bastards caught with their hands in the cookie jar. With the
current economy and the way that the SEC is watching everyone like a hawk, I
think they may be interested to hear how the management is taking all of the
budget. My husband, unfortunately, feels differently. He feels that karma will
take care of the Evil Scum and Horrible Bitch and that it’s going to catch
up with them someday. He says good riddance to bad rubbish and wants to
start his new job and never look back. I, on the other hand, want to call
the newspapers, write letters to the President, take a billboard at a
football game…get the word out there! I am angry and full of hate and
have a taste for blood…my husband is just too calm. He’s happy just to
let the universe right itself…I want a lynching.

My question is: Is there any halfway point in this disagreement? Can we
find a happy medium here? What should I do? Keep my mouth shut and “stand by my man” or take Trendy
Brand X for a ride?!

Thanks,
Vindictive