After deeming various personal problems just too embarrassing even to share
anonymously with a top-notch advice giver such as yourself, I’m finally
writing to you with a cat question.

My cat is a former stray who showed up at my door with no ID about seven years
ago. He was fully grown, already fixed, and looked relatively healthy, so
he’d obviously had a home at some point, but he decided to move in with me
and has been my pride and joy ever since. My concern is that his favorite
thing in the world is being outside. I tried putting a leash on him early
on, but he won’t tolerate it. He loves to run around and explore and climb
trees and kill little critters — and fight with the neighbor cats.

I keep a collar and tag on him at all times, and he always returns home
when he’s good and ready. He’s smart enough to avoid cars and people. But
we live in an area with a lot of other cats, as well as wild animals. He
has all his claws, but he’s still lost a lot of fights. It’s become a
routine: a scratch gets infected; kitty gets an expensive trip to the vet;
we try to keep him inside; he howls and whines and raises holy hell ’til we
let him out again; lather, rinse, repeat. So far he’s only been beaten up
by other cats, but whenever he stays out after dark, I worry he’ll have a
run-in with a fox or raccoon or skunk (all of which we’ve spotted around
our building).

So anyway. A few weeks ago he came home with one claw ripped completely off
and bleeding. After bringing him home from the emergency vet with his big
bandaged paw and funnelhead collar (the doctor says the claw will grow back
just fine), I decided that was the last straw. He’s been forced to be a
full-time indoor kitty ever since, and he is not happy about it. He stares
wistfully out the windows all day, cries and howls to be let out, tries to
make a break for it any time someone goes near the door. Everyone I know
tells me I’m doing the right thing by keeping him inside — it’s safer,
he’ll live longer, I know — but he’s miserable, and it’s breaking our hearts.

How can we help him accept being an indoor cat? We have another indoor-only
cat, so he’s not alone during the day. I’ve read that cats can get
depressed and possibly even die if they feel really neglected. I want to
make sure he’s happy and thriving, not just putting up with staying inside.
Are there specific things we can do to make it easier on him? Will he ever
get used to it and stop pining away for the great outdoors?

Kitty Prison Warden

I work for a large, profitable clothing chain in an outlet mall. While this is problem enough in itself, here are the specifics of my situation.

I was hired last October to work stock for said store, but two weeks later I found myself assigned almost exclusively to the sales floor without a word of explanation. My pay didn’t change, and I actually got more hours, so I just kind of shrugged and went along with it.

Fast forward through the holiday season, happily working an average of 35 hours a week. Then the second week of January hits and I find myself and most of the other part-timers taken off the schedule entirely due to “unexpectedly low profit margins.” Okay, I can see that; sales drop significantly at that time of year. Management promises that it will only last a week or two, and those who are patient and don’t complain will be the ones to get hours.

My first mistake was believing them. I have worked maybe 40 hours since the beginning of the year, and have been actively seeking a job elsewere, but so far, no dice. I did a little asking around, and found out that our store has 52 employees, and that they had actually hired more over the slow time. We now exceed the fire codes when we have meetings. Then I find out that they’re playing favorites, only working the same ten part-timers every week instead of rotating the staff to give everyone a few hours.

So they started putting me back on the schedule recently, for 5 to 15 hours a week. No, I’m not kidding. And ever since I’ve come back, I’ve been subject to personal snipes from management and fellow employees regarding my hair (short and neat), my clothes (nothing fancy, but all nice and up to dress code), personality (quiet but friendly), and even my surname (not particularly unusual or hard to pronounce). And to top it off, a couple of weeks ago I asked for a day off to see some friends who would only be in town for the day. I followed all the necessary procedures, but this week I got my schedule only to find that this is the only day I work, and it’s a ten-hour shift. When I tried to ask the manager about it, she told me that, for some unexplained reason, they expected it to be very busy this Saturday and they needed everyone to work.

Does this seem like a personal grudge to you? It’s certainly out of the bounds of “what a boss does.” I’m not the only one with these problems, but no one can seem to figure out just who in the company’s twisted heirarchy to complain to.

Unfortunately, I find myself caught between pride and the security of at least having a job when only about 55 percent of the people in my town have that much. I’m leaving the state in about two months anyway for the city where I’m going to go to college, and I really don’t want to ruin my references. If I do get another job, I’d have to give two weeks’ notice, which would make scheduling awkward, since I’d want to go ahead and start the new job. On the other hand, I’m getting very fed up, and close to losing my temper, which would get me fired and leave me no better off.

My question is, would you just suck it up and deal for the next two months, or leave before your patience finally reaches the breaking point and you end up making a scene?

Thanks for the time and the site,
Doesn’t Want To Be A Doormat Anymore

$100 and five miles of guilt

My parents are coming from Retirement Village to visit the old homestead, and asked if I might hostess some of their old friends for dinner. That’s not the problem; I’m glad to party down anytime. Here’s the rub — a certain family friend and his Mrs., whom I’ve known — and loved — since I was a tot, are coming. What I didn’t know as a child, but was only recently informed, was that Herr Uncle was a brown shirt for the Nazi party in the ’40s. Granted, he was only 18 or so, but I think that deep in his Teutonic gut, he still waves the flag.

I don’t want to exclude anyone from the guest list, but frankly, entertaining a Nazi in my own home gives me the willies.

Your input, please.

Thanks,
Les

I have a question, and this is really somewhat embarrassing. I just started a new job, and since I have been working here, I have done some really embarrassing things such as tripping on the stairs and landing with my skirt up and underwear showing, my stomach rumbling like thunder during an office meeting with the corporate office for almost an hour (not continuously), et cetera et cetera. Well, it all just has been one giant nightmare of embarrassing shenanigans and I swear they are all true.

Well, today, you guessed it…something mortifying happened YET AGAIN! I am so embarrassed, but nobody knows yet. I was in the bathroom, and used the smaller stall. There are only two stalls, as our company only has 14 people working here, and only four of them are female. Well, okay, this is gross, but I had my “movement” and all was well, I did the necessary functions of health, but when I went to flush the damn thing the water had been turned off. I swear, Sars, I am not lying. I am so embarrassed. I just left it, and have not told anyone.

I have done so many embarrassing things while working here that I am afraid they will all laugh at me, and I want to be seen as a professional. What on earth should I do? I can’t stand the thought of telling my boss or any coworkers, and have them come in to try to fix it — I mean, my stuff is in there. Should I just leave it? Or should I suck it up and let someone know? HELP ME PLEASE!

Signed,
A Mess