Dear Sars,

I recently moved back home after finishing up my degree. I will be here for about a year while I apply to grad programs. Problem? The mattress in my “old” room is killing me. My mom redecorated while I was gone, instead of the twin I now have a full-size bed and it’s a new mattress. I should be happy, right? Well, said new mattress is KILLING me!

Most mattresses hurt, I have always had back pain, ever since I was a scrawny teen. Doctors said I had a slight spine curvature, not enough for them to do anything about it other than recommend exercises. My back pain has never been my lower back, but has always been my upper back, around my shoulder blades (as far as height, I mean) down to mid-back and it lessens slightly when I play sports.

I tried to do research as to whether I need a harder mattress or a softer one, but I’m reading conflicting things. Some say a hard mattress is better, others think a waterbed is the way to go. Can anyone with similar back pain offer a good opinion or advice as to how to find the right hardness? I would really appreciate it!

Slept well on a mattress once, looked for the tag but couldn’t find it, damn it

Dear Matt,

It sounds to my inexpert ear like the problem is actually your pillow, so I have two suggestions: 1) try sleeping with different pillows (or without any at all; my grandmother did this and never had a stiff neck in her life), and 2) consult a chiropractor or other medical professional; the problem may be your posture, but if it isn’t, s/he might be able to advise you on what firmness to go with, whether you should try sleeping in a different position, and so on.

Readers, let’s hear it.Email subject line: “comfortable sleep.”

Dear Sars,

I have been a reader of The Vine for several years and am excited to finally have a question even if it isn’t a very serous one.I live in New England and I find winter to be a very harsh time on my skin.While I’ve found products that help with drying effects of the cold outside air and the indoor heating on my skin and my hair, I have yet to find a good lip balm.My lips get severely chapped during the winter and tend to split and bleed several times during the season because they are so dry.It seems like every Chapstick or lip balm I only temporarily moisturises my lips and then ultimately dries them out more.So I was hoping that you or your readers have a suggestion of a lip product that would help cure this unattractive and painful problem.

I would like to have kissable lips this winter

Dear Kiss,

I just use whatever balm my Secret Santa put in my stocking the year before — right now it’s a peach-flavored Blistex Fruit Smoothie — but I’ve also had good luck with regular Chapstick, and with the Body Shop’s Vitamin E Lip Care Stick SPF 15.

You could also try exfoliating your lips in the shower, putting regular lotion on them right afterwards, and then coating with a layer of balm afterwards.

Readers, pucker up.Email subject line: “lip balm.”

Sars,

My family is Christian and omnivorous.I’m inviting a Hindu vegetarian to Thanksgiving.She’s a pretty worldly girl, and the family aren’t Bible-thumping, wild-eyed zealots, so I don’t expect the religion issue to come up, except in a getting-to-know-you, conversational kind of way.

The real concern is that she won’t have anything good to eat.My mother, whom I love dearly anyway, is an astoundingly mediocre cook.I’d like my friend to be able to enjoy something better than soggy stuffing, lumpy mashed potatoes, and canned cranbelly jelly slices.She would almost certainly be content to load up on sides, but I’d like her to have some worthwhile turkey alternative.

Can you (or the readers) recommend any Thanksgiving-appropriate vegetarian main courses I could make myself and take along?Suggestions for Indian dishes that the family would enjoy are also welcome — cultural exchange goes both ways, after all.

Thanks,
At Least She Doesn’t Put Nuts In The Stuffing

Dear Nuts,

Thanksgiving is the one day a year I eat something that walked on land, so I don’t actually have any suggestions off the top of my head, but I think an Indian dish might be the best way to split the difference — it can work as a side for the rest of the family, but a dish with potatoes or chickpeas will be substantial enough to serve as a main course for your friend.So, hunt up a recipe for aloo ki sabzi or pindi chana masala, or make a vegetable korma with seitan or chickpeas.

Readers, any thoughts?If you can cook tofurkey so it doesn’t taste like plastic, we’d love to hear about it.Email subject line: “veg Thanksgiving.”

[11/10/06]

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