The Vine: January 13, 2010
Ask The Readers moves to Wednesday this week; I’ve bought a house (yay), but have to move again on Friday (boo), so TN will likely go dark for a few days.
*****
Hi Sars,
So, I have a question for you and your readers.I have been trying to figure out this movie for ages and I can’t seem to find it anywhere on the net.In the 1980s, a movie was shown on St. Patrick’s Day on a local Seattle channel after the St. Patrick’s Day Parade.It was a part of “Movie Matinee” sort of programming.It was only shown that one day every year.
Here is what I know:
- The entire cast had Irish accents.
- The main character is a little girl (somewhere between the ages of 8 and 13) who lives at a big white house where there is a major party at some point.
- There is a super creepy porcelain doll that is haunted by the ghost of the girl’s dead mother.
- The doll floats up out of the well out back where it has been sitting on a ledge but not getting dirty for who knows how long during the aforementioned party.
- The doll wears a white dress, has black hair, and can talk to the girl in one of those skin-crawling sort of voices that dead women have in movies where they possess dolls.
- The doll belonged to the girl’s mother when the mother was a little girl.
- The little girl keeps the doll in a trunk.
- At some point in the movie there is a Banshee, A Ghost Coach, and the old man and the doll end up on this carriage.
- There is nothing fairy or fey in the movie except for the traditional Irish death stuff and the haunted doll.
Here is what I suspect:
- It was made in the 1950s.
- It takes place in Ireland but may or may not have been filmed there.
- The little girl’s best friend was a boy who was a servant on the property, but she spends most of the movie alone talking to the uber-creepy doll.
- The old man is the little girl’s grandfather and he sacrifices himself for the girl.
- The girl felt out of place at the party (which is why she goes out back by the old well).
- I’m really not sure of this one but at some point, I think she falls into the well, sees the doll and wakes it up somehow but she hit her head and her friend rescues her so they forget about it until it floats out of the well in the night as creepy haunted talking porcelain dolls who have spent years in a well not getting dirty are wont to do.
So, Sars and dear readers of Tomato Nation, I would appreciate your help if you would.
Thanks muchly,
Christina
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So, here’s one for the Vine.
About 6 or 7 years ago, I saw a short film online and have not been able to find it again.I’ve exhausted every permutation of search terms that I can come up with and have found nothing.
The basic plot, without giving too much away, is that it’s a suspense/mystery/thriller short. A woman is at a train/aboveground-subway station and she’s taking pictures.She sees a man walking down the tracks and takes pictures of him as he approaches.She gets scared, bolts, forgets her keys, gets the film developed, and as she’s flipping through the photos at her house, the denouement happens.
It was black and white, very creepy.Any help would be, well, helpful.
It’s called a bookmark
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Hi Sars,
Well, I’ve exhausted Google and IMDb, pestered everyone I know via Facebook and Twitter, and so I come to you and your readers, hoping someone out there can identify this ridiculous sci-fi spoof from that scared the crap out of me when I was 8.
I’m afraid I can’t give you much to go on here, but it’s about a superhero, or former superhero, who works in an electronics store, or pawn shop. Here’s the key plot point, though: One night, some alien overlord steals the hair off everyone on earth, and they all wake up bald. (This is what frightened me. I was a very vain child.) I distinctly remember a scene showing hair being beamed up to a spaceship.
I saw it on TV at a friend’s house in the late 1980s, so I assume the film is from the ’80s, though it could be a ’70s movie.
I’m keen to track it down because I’m overdue for a bad movie night, plus it’s time to face down this absurd childhood fear. Hope someone recognizes it.
Keep Your Alien Tractor Beams Off My Hair
Tags: Ask The Readers popcult
Ms. Sars!! Congratulations on the new digs!! Way to get that government credit and a comfy place for you and the fur balls! I wish you the best of luck in your new abode!! Just keep thinking, “I won’t have to move again for a very long time!!” WOO HOO!!
Sorry I can’t help with the questions.
Christina, is there any chance that the film you’re thinking of might be Darby O’Gill and The Little People? http://tinyurl.com/ydl22o7 It’s been a long time since I’ve seen it, so I’m not sure about the dolly down the well but it definitely has a banshee, and a ghost coach – in fact, I have very clear memories of being terrified by that bit of the film!
Sars – many congratulations on the house, I hope the move goes smoothly for you!
Oooh, the first one – I remember a cool spooky movie with a doll and a girl in a well, but I don’t think I’ve got the right answer for this one, as what I’m thinking of was, I think, made in the 70’s as a Wonderful World of Disney thing, adapted from a Richard Peck novel … yep, WWD did “Child of Glass” in 1978, based on “The Ghost Belonged to Me.” It was set in Louisiana.
As a side note, I think it really watered down the character of Blossom Culp and focused on Alexander, which is lame, but I haven’t seen it in 30 years, so I may not remember it fully.
Anyway, I hope someone finds the correct answer – I rather like haunted dolls and wells. :-)
I’m no help with the questions either, but congratulations on buying a house! There is nothing quite like the feeling of moving your last box into your own place! (When my parents finally bought a house, after the last box came in Mom turned to Dad and said, “You can go wherever you want, whenever you want. I’m staying here!”) Enjoy your new home.
I’m a dead wash with the questions (although the banshee and the death coach reminded me of the infamous “Darby O’Gill and the Little People) but awesome news on the house! Remember, when you move in: set up and make the bed FIRST THING. Yes, sheets, blankets, pillowcases, the whole nine yards. Than unpack your towels, shampoo and soap and put them in the bathroom. Lastly, lay out a pair of jammies on the bed.
Than, that night when you’ve wearily downed your takeout and are ready to collapse, you’re all set for your hot shower and sleepytimes with no hassle. It makes getting up the next day and facing the houseful of boxes a whole lot easier.
Congratulations on the move! Hope the cats are as cooperative as cats can be expected to be in these situations….
…Aliens stealing hair?
I’m of no help with the questions but congrats on the house! I suggest you name it something incredibly grand. Bonus points if you can shorten the grand name to something not repeatable in polite company.
Oooh! Congrats on the new house. We bought our first home about 2.5 years ago. It’s hard work, but it’s nice knowing we don’t have to pay rent anymore (even though we still catch ourselves saying that the “rent is due” or something.)
I have no idea on any of those creepy ass movies though. Good luck to the askers!
@Amanda: The current baronial name of the house is Far Thill.
…Give it a minute.
Could the hair stealing be from this? http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0170513/
It looks like it was a TV show from the SCTV crew, but there were only 5 episodes, so that would make it movie length.
Totally stuck on the movies, but congrats on your house! And BWAH on the name-is that because of Hobey or Little Joe? Speaking of which, does the house have a deck and can we get another essay?
I too thought of both Darby O’ Gill and Child of Glass, and wanted to add that in those nascent days when Disney was a premium channel, you could easily have seen those consecutively any time during any March in the mid-’80s. (They were really predictable–I saw the Disney’s Halloween Treat special about a dozen times per October for a while there.)
I’ll have you know I was sitting at my desk at work reciting “Far Thill” over and over until, lo and behold, I got it.
Oh, Sars.
(Hilarious. And Congrats on the new home!)
@Sarah D. Bunting: Don’t you mean Henfar Thill?
You must, must dish on the house ASAP. And pictures!
I don’t know what this movie is but it sounds like the scariest movie I’ve ever heard of. All you need now is clowns and it would give me permanent nightmares.
And congrats on the house, Sars!!!
house! WOOOOOT!!!
@Sars, a thousand congratulations on your new house! There is nothing quite like the feeling of knowing that everything around you is yours, all yours! And when it breaks, its yours! Incidentally, 4 months after my husband and I bought our first house, one of the pipes burst and flooded the whole thing. 3 months and $60,000+ in repairs later, it happened again — that time a toilet tank cracked. By that time, the contractor and insurance adjuster were on speed dial. Thank goodness for homeowner’s insurance! Moral of the story, have a plumber check your toilets and plumbing, replace any parts that seem suspect, and turn off your water main if you’re going to be away for any length of time (although both of our floods happened when we were just away for a few hours. Can you believe it? Over $60,000 in damage after 4 hours…)!
@bookmark, I hope you find out what that one is, because now I want to find out what happens!
Ok, OT, but THANK YOU Liz in Minneapolis…I’ve been trying to remember the name of the author of the books about Blossom Culp and Alexander for, like, 5 years now.
Unfortunately I can’t help with the movies. Although I am now very curious about the Alien hair-thieves.
Oh, Sars, congratulations! Now at least somebody I “know” (i.e., a total stranger on Teh Innernets) has been able to take advantage of the Housing Bonus (for which I was just a tad too early, boo wah hoo).
So, I gather your new house has gas heat?
And, really, unpack. Listen to someone who … hasn’t. I should probably just THROW OUT the boxes I haven’t unpacked, if it weren’t for the occasionally irreplaceable items scattered throughout Boxland.
Congrats Sars!
Mystified by all three movies, this week, but HOUUUSE! Huge congratulations, Sars…and where are you headed? Still in the city, or will you be speaking of Far Thill with a nice suburban-lockjaw accent now?
…Which, actually, you should do anyhow.
@Elizabeth: Henfar Thill cries out for a family crest, don’t it?
Now you’re definitely all growsed up Sars. To think I read you when… well, now that I think about it, I think it’s been about ten years. Wow.
Anywayyyy. Congratulations!
And. Those were the most hilariously creepy stumpers ever. Hair-stealing aliens and dolls. Yeesh. No idea.
The banshee and the ghost coach also remind me of Darby o Gill and the Little People, but there was no doll plot in that. I was OBSESSED with DoGatLP when I was little. I would drag my baby sister around wailing “Katie! Katie!”
Good times.
I wish I could ID the alien hair movie for you, because I was completely traumatized by another hair loss movie, the infamous The Peanut Butter Solution, which, if you haven’t seen it, I recommend for hilarity. (But if you’re a kid it’s completely frightening.)
“Far Thill.” I’ve said it about 50 times now, and added the “Hen” and I? Still don’t get it.
Could that first one be “Talking Tina” from ooh, Twilight Zone or Outer Limits? The doll had teeth. “Hi! I’m Talking Tina and I don’t LIKE you.” Creeped me out for LIFE, that one!
Congratulations, Sarah D. Bunting ESQUIRE!!!! Now you can drop something heavy on the floor at 3am & not have to holler “Sorry!” downstairs! (which I did, then cackled like a hen for ten minutes. Good times.) Also – you can stop hoarding quarters to do laundry. It is the AWESOME!!! I’m so happy for you!
(Hen Fart Hill, no?)
@Shonda – it took the reference to “gas heat” a few posts up for me to get it.
Congrats on the house, Sars! Can’t wait to hear the tales of two cats at Far Thrill.
Please publish pics of the house, both overloaded with boxes, and as it gets organized.
Congratulations Sars! Owning your own place rocks!
Hee! Congratulations on becoming a homeowner, Dame Bunting of Far Thill. You are in for so much…well, fun, and also repainting and fixing. Because those things go with having a house. Do let us know if it turns out to be haunted in any way, won’t you? (Our first house had things in it. That weren’t bugs, and that didn’t chip in for groceries, but still put in appearances and made noises.)
It also sounds to me like the first one is an mash-up of Darby O’Gill & the Little People and Child of Glass– I was totally obsessed with both of these movies when I was a kid, and had some nightmares about that doll down in the well and the banshee. They did used to come on Disney back to back…man, now I want to go watch both.
I’m no help on the movies, but congratulations, Sarah of (Hen)Far Thill! I hope the move goes smoothly.
The only problem is that I know both Darby O’Gill and the Little People and Child of Glass and it isn’t either of them. I also didn’t ever receive the Disney Channel. I almost wonder if it was actually an Irish film that has fallen into the black hole of time. Keep guessing people and I’ll keep checking the films (I re-watched both today inorder to make sure). Thank you for your help everyone and please keep making guesses. Thanks! ~Christina
@ bookmark: Dang, now I really want to see that online short film! I hope someone figures it out for you. It has a kind of Twilight Zone or Night Gallery vibe the way you describe it; was it made 6 or 7 years ago, or could it have been older? I guess I’m asking if it was black-and-white because it was old, art-house, low-budget, or all of the above? Was the camera she used in the film modern by 2003-ish standards or did it look older?
Since you saw it online, and it was a short, I was wondering if it could have been a reel from either a film competition, film school, or a film production house of some kind. I’ve seen some cool stuff on director’s reels when I was part of selecting a director for TV commercials. Anything jog the memory there?
I don’t know any of the answers, but the first one sounds kind of amazing.
Congrats on Far Thill, Sars. I had to say it at least 10 times before I got it.
Congrats on the home-buying! My husband and I closed on our house on Monday and we move at the end of the month–terrifying and yet thrilling, all at the same time! The best part about the whole thing? Not being forced to look for a place that takes cats or paying an extra pet deposit!
Also – Congrats! And no help with the questions…
OMG, congrats on the house! We want to hear all about it!
@Shonda re: Far Thill, type the words all lowercase, remove the space.
I wish I could help with the movies except to say that when I was about a year old (1984), my aunt bought me a cute little doll with a plastic head, fabric body, a bowtie and a jumpsuit (it’s all since fallen off). I named him “D’arby” and I still have him today. My mom says it was because of “Darby and the Little People.”
Congrats, Sars!
I, too, am no help w/ the movies, except to say it is probably somethign I would never watch. (I’m not so good w/ the tense situations)
Gratz on the house! Unfortunately, I’m rather un-clever when it comes to naming my homes. I name my rentals, too… all after either the location of the house (street name) or color. I have the Red House, Green House, Blue House, and then the Austin St. Apartment, and Cedar St. Apartment… except for the House That Got Away. That was a) begging to be bought and b) begging to be named. driving up you only saw the first story, so it looked like it maybe had 1 bedroom and you prayed for a decent sized kitchen. Turns out that was the TOP floor!!! It had 2 levels below one floor of 3 bedrooms, a shop and a “living room” space, and the bottom floor a big empty storage area. (We were going to name it TARDIS, because it’s bigger on the outside than the inside) Unfortunately, the lady was crazy, and it was not Meant To Be… Now I live in New House.
Far Thill. Awesome. Congrats on joining the landed gentry! I am also no help with this week’s movies, but I’d love to know the answers. (Except the hair thing. That sounds unspeakably creepy.)
What is it about baldness that’s so terrifying to a kid? When Theo shaved his head on the Cosby Show, I was scarred for life. I still shudder when I think about it.
Needless to say, I’m no help on the movies, either. Just joining the chorus of hair-related PTSD sufferers.
@Carena: I hear you on The House That Got Away. I have one, too. There was Wonderful House, which … I could probably afford these days, if I hadn’t gotten This House, and there was The House That Got Away – the one that had the right amount of room for my stuff, and a place for everything. That’s where I live, in my head.
Sars, congratulations on the house, that’s awesome!
Sars, cnogratulations on your new house. Welcome to the hobby that never ends.
Whoopsy, that’s supposed to be: _con_gratulations.
Congratulations on your new Casa de Tomates, Lady Hen of Far Thill. Very exciting news!
Congratulations!! And just think, the cats will be batting those freaky foam peanuts for weeeeeks to come as you unpack.
“Far Thill” indeed. Awesome!
@MizShrew. Although in black and white, the short was recent. I think I saw it on iFilm (or some other repository for short films). It took place in winter and was probably only about 7 or 8 minutes long. As a horror/suspense buff, I remember being bowled over by this. I hope I can find it again.
Maybe I should renew my search. Who knows, maybe the interwebs search engines can find it this time. BTW, just plugging in random plot point brings up some truly bizarre results.
Dear Cristina,
I am not sure about the movie version, but the plot sound a lot like a version of A Candle in Her Room by Ruth M. Arthur. The evil doll, Dido, haunts generation after generation of women in a big old manor house in Wales.
We bought our first house last year. It is named Ernest. My grandfather’s name is Ernest. When I told my grandmother that I had used a gift from them toward the “earnest money” on the house, my grandfather overheard bits and pieces and said “Ernest? Are they naming the house after me?”
Grandfather Ernest is in much better shape than House Ernest, although slightly older. And I suspect his maintenance is much cheaper.