Come on, too easy! The two songs from my graduation year (we voted on a class song) that divided the cool kids from the popular kids: “These Are Days” by 10,000 Maniacs and “So Hard To Say Goodbye To Yesterday” by Boyz II Men.

Dear Cool,

Many other readers mentioned both of those songs. I for one put the 10,000 Maniacs on every mix I made for two years, to the point where I really can’t stand the song now, but it’s perfect for this purpose.

Other suggestions appear below; as usual, if I got it more than once, it’s asterisked.

Adem — “There Will Always Be”
a-Ha — “Stay On These Roads”
Alexi Murdoch — “Orange Sky”
Alice Cooper — “School’s Out”
Alkaline Trio — “If We Never Go Inside”
Alphaville — “Forever Young” *
Anyone Can Whistle — “With So Little To Be Sure Of”
Barbra Streisand — “The Way We Were”
Barry Manilow — “Weekend In New England”
Baz Luhrmann — “Everybody’s Free (To Wear Sunscreen)” *
Beach Boys — “Graduation Day”
Beatles — “Across The Universe”
Beatles — “In My Life” *
Beatles — “Long And Winding Road”
Beatles — “Tell Me What You See”
Bette Midler — “Wind Beneath My Wings”
Better Than Ezra — “This Time Of Year”
Bill Medley/Jennifer Warnes — “(I’ve Had) The Time Of My Life” *
Bill Withers — “Lean On Me”
Billy Joel — “I’ve Loved These Days”
Billy Joel — “Summer, Highland Falls” *
Billy Joel — “This Is The Time” *
Bob Dylan — “Forever Young”
Bob Dylan — “You’re Gonna Make Me Lonesome When You Go”
Bon Jovi — “Never Say Goodbye” *
Boyz II Men — “End Of The Road” *
Brand New — “Soco Amaretto Lime” *
Bruce Springsteen — “Glory Days”
The Buggles — “Video Killed The Radio Star”
The Byrds — “Turn, Turn, Turn”
The Carpenters — “We’ve Only Just Begun”
Carole King — “Now And Forever”
Cat Stevens — “Oh Very Young”
Chantal Kreviazuk — “Far Away”
Chantal Kreviazuk — “Leaving On A Jet Plane”
Chantal Kreviazuk — “These Days”
Chris Isaak — “Graduation Day”
Crowded House — “Don’t Dream It’s Over” *
Cyndi Lauper — “Time After Time” *
David Bowie — “Ch-ch-changes” *
David Mead — “Astronaut”
Diana Ross — “Love Theme from Mahogany”
Dionne Warwick & Friends — “That’s What Friends Are For”
Dixie Chicks — “Wide Open Spaces” *
Eve 6 — “Here’s To The Nights” *
The Flaming Lips — “Do You Realize”
The Flashing Lights — “High School”
Fleetwood Mac — “Landslide”
The Fleetwoods — “Graduation’s Here”
Fountains Of Wayne — “Fire Island”
Garth Brooks — “The River”
Gil Scott-Heron — “The Revolution Will Not Be Televised”
Grateful Dead — “Truckin'”
Grayson Hugh — “I’ll Remember You”
Green Day — “Wake Me Up When September Ends”
Guster — “So Long”
Hoku — “Perfect Day”
Indigo Girls — “Closer To Fine” *
James Taylor — “Fire and Rain”
Jann Arden — “Good Mother”
John Lennon — “Imagine”
John Mayer — “No Such Thing”
Joni Mitchell — “The Circle Game” *
Keane — “Somewhere Only We Know”
Kelly Willis — “Reason To Believe”
The Killers — “All These Things That I’ve Done”
Lee Ann Womack — “I Hope You Dance” *
Louis Armstrong — “What A Wonderful World”
Macy Gray — “I Try”
Madonna — “I’ll Remember” *
Madonna — “This Used To Be My Playground” *
Michael W. Smith — “Friends” *
Michelle Branch — “Goodbye To You”
Natasha Bedingfield — “Unwritten”
Neil Young — “Long May You Run”
New Radicals — “You Get What You Give”
Nickelback — “Photograph”
Old 97s — “Friends Forever”
OMD — “If You Leave” *
Peter, Paul & Mary — “Leaving On A Jet Plane”
Phish — “Dog-Faced Boy”
Queen — “Friends Will Be Friends”
REM — “Find The River”
REM — “It’s The End Of The World As We Know It (And I Feel Fine)” *
Rent — “Seasons Of Love”
REO Speedwagon — “Time For Me To Fly”
Rise Against — “Swing Life Away”
Rod Stewart — “Forever Young” *
Rusted Root — “Send Me On My Way”
Ryan Adams — “Friends”
Sarah McLachlan — “I Will Remember You” *
Scorpions — “Wind of Change”
Semisonic — “Closing Time” *
Simon & Garfunkel — “Bridge Over Troubled Water”
Simple Minds — “(Don’t You) Forget About Me” *
Smashmouth — “You Are My Number One”
The Specials — “Enjoy Yourself (It’s Later Than You Think)”
St. Elmo’s Fire — “Love Theme (Just For A Moment” [totally my class song (hee!) (barf!)] *
Steve Miller — “Jet Airliner”
Styx — “Come Sail Away”
The Sundays — “Here’s Where The Story Ends”
The Sundays — “Homeward”
Talking Heads — “Once In A Lifetime”
Talking Heads — “Road To Nowhere”
Tarzan — “Son Of Man”
Tears For Fears — “Everybody Wants To Rule The World”
Third Eye Blind — “Graduate” *
Travis — “Follow The Light”
Trooper — “We’re Here For A Good Time, Not A Long Time”
U2 — “Walk On”
The Verve Pipe — “Freshmen” *
The Wannadies — “You And Me Song”
Weekend Excursion — “Moving On”
The Who — “Baba O’Riley”
Wicked — “For Good” *
Yeah Yeah Yeahs — “Our Time”

Pick songs that meant something to you and your friends, regardless of theme
Whatever the #1 song is the week of graduation
Check out other people’s iMixes on iTunes

Dearest Sars,

Dear Rock,

I found this self-test here that lists many of the classic signs of alcoholism. I can’t tell you how many “yes” answers you’ll give, but I think there’s a spectrum for this kind of thing, and while I wouldn’t say that you’re a full-blown alcoholic, I do think you have a problem. You’re becoming dependent on large quantities of alcohol to deal with emotional pain; alcohol is a depressant, which is not indicated given your other mental-wellness issues; you have a possible genetic predisposition towards the disease. And bottom line, it isn’t working. It isn’t doing what it’s supposed to. I’m all for a bout of self-medicating after a break-up, but medicine is supposed to help heal you. Booze isn’t doing that; it’s just making you feel shittier.

Does this mean that you have to start going to AA meetings, or check yourself into rehab? No, although if you think either of those things will help you, you can certainly look into them. But it does mean that this is not a good choice for you in terms of your mental health, and you need to talk to your therapist about it — and if you don’t have a therapist right now, you need to get one and get over this hump with some help.

Try not to be too hard on yourself about it; you’re trying to numb your pain. It’s only human. But it’s not working; it’s doing the opposite, in fact. Try something else.

I am a part of a group of friends of about 10-15 people. Every Sunday, we meet at Ashley’s house to play games. Now, these games usually involve running and diving for chairs in modified musical-chairs-type set-ups. The past Sunday was no exception and after Ashley insisted we play this specific game, diving and colliding commenced.

Dear Drama,

Let’s see if I understand this correctly. You sneer at Mary Ann for not understanding responsibility because she’s 19; you “drive over that instant” to collect every single item of yours that’s over there; you accuse Mary Ann of wrecking your bathing suit, which, why would you “lend” someone a bathing suit in the first place; you bitch about giving Ashley clothes, even though 1) you don’t need them anymore, 2) nobody made you give them to her, and 3) it’s more of a way to keep score against her than a gift. Who’s petty, again?

I have a feeling you haven’t told me the entire substance of the conversation with Mary Ann; it’s possible that she handled it poorly, and yes, if they have rowdy party games like that going on, they should expect to see some damage — and, if a can of spackle is six bucks, to pay for it themselves. But your reaction is out of line with what happened, given that, again, a can of spackle is six bucks — if you’re so busy, and so much better than these people, why do you spend time with them at all?

I’m not saying Mary Ann should have asked you to pay, or accused you of making the hole, but I have to wonder why you’re this bitter about it; I don’t think you really resent this one thing. I think it symbolizes some inherent unfairness that you’ve been seething about since before this happened. Before you end two friendships over this, ask yourself whether it’s really about this.

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