“Well, that’s a very sad story, and I feel for you, but it isn’t time for your lunch.”
“Get down. Get down. No, no, no — down on the floor. The desk is for humans. The …

Sars, another answer for Quoi Faire would be to check into refinancing the mortgage now that she has that full-time good job. Having the job is a substantial financial change for the positive, so a …

Hey there Sars! I’ve been reading your site for a while now and find you very astute, and very funny. I’m hoping that you can help me with another usage question…
A while ago, a friend …

Hey Sars! I love TN, especially the Collected Cat Rants, and when I realized I had a dilemma, I thought it should go to you.
Welcome to The High School Soap Opera. The key players are …

Sars,
I’m a 22-year-old virgin who has absolutely no desire to have sex. I’ve had two boyfriends in my life, one when I was 17 and one when I was 20, but again, no desire to …

It is the job of the fifth-grade girl to master all things Ew, Gross. She must seek out Ew, Gross tirelessly; she must react to Ew, Gross with melodramatic shrieking, squirming, eye-shielding, and simulated gagging; …

Hi Sars,
Okay. There’s this boy. I’ve known him for about two years, and I’ve been seriously interested in him — strongly infatuated with him, anyway — for a ridiculously long time now, a little over …

Sars,
An interesting (if by “interesting” I mean “infuriating and rage-inducing”) situation blindsided me yesterday, and I thought I’d run it past you.
Two of my closest friends are getting married in August (as in marrying each …

Hey there Sars —
I have a problem that I’m pretty sure has never been covered in your illustrious column. See, my otherwise lovely and well-behaved husband is a compulsive talker.
And when I say “compulsive,” I …

Sars —
Generally your advice is spot-on, but your comments to Closet Case resemble pretty much what most non-gay people seem to think is the best advice for people who are still in the closet: reassurance …