Dear Santa,
I know that you receive millions of letters every year, but perhaps mine will catch your eye. Please forgive me for failing to observe correct letter-to-Santa protocol; I couldn’t find a red crayon. I …

This Tuesday, I get the entire day off in order to vote. This might sound ridiculous in light of the fact that, even in a Presidential election year, voting takes the average citizen a grand …

Here in New York City, we have a so-called humor publication called The Rotten Apple. TRA models itself on (read: rips off without much success) magazines like The Onion and the Lampoon, but between the …

Hobey, Warrior Feline
The occupants of the ninth floor lead tranquil lives, until an unmistakable jingling sound heralds the approach of pure evil, and the long shadow of terror falls over their happy hallway. Fuzzy Mousie …

Recently, the Disco Biscuit moved from New York to Boston to begin his law school studies. Simply put, this kind of bites, but since I don’t have a choice, I’ve tried to make the best …

I just don’t get some stuff. I don’t mean the complicated mysteries of the human body or the nature of the deity or anything lofty like that. I mean little everyday things. I’ve had a …

I don’t eat meat very often, because I can’t really afford it. Also, I don’t cook very well, and if I spend money on a nice piece of beef, I don’t want to ruin it …

The United States government needs to legalize marijuana for recreational use, and they need to do so as soon as possible. For those of you who might have trouble reconciling this statement with my snippy …

Last night, I went to see Todd Solondz’s new film Happiness. When it ended, I strode purposefully out of the theater and down the stairs to the ladies’ room, locked myself into a stall, and …

EPISODE 3b: FLUFFY’S FAREWELL
Audiences learn what really happened to the Brady girls’ marmalade cat when a Buick Skylark flattens the hapless feline during the Bradys’ honeymoon. Everyone learns a valuable lesson about not getting too …