One evening last fall, the Disco Biscuit and I walked out the front door of my building to find the entire block bathed in the glare of klieg lights. Other residents of the building stood …

When I log into my e-mail account at work, I know exactly what I will find there. I work as an alumnae records assistant, not exactly the top rung of the academic ladder by any …

The other day, while giving my apartment a long-overdue spring cleaning, I found a number of things – a handful of small change lodged in between the cushions of my couch, a dry cleaner’s receipt …

I don’t go to church anymore, except on Christmas, and I only go then because I like to listen to the Christmas carols, and I also like making snide comments to my father and brother …

Victoria’s Secret sucks. All the men who lovingly tote the catalog into the bathroom with them for a little light reading might disagree, but I don’t care. Vicky can bite me, and furthermore, I won’t …

Back in the day, “going to the bathroom” meant squatting over a chamber pot, then tossing its contents out of an upper-story window and onto unsuspecting passersby on the street. (Sometimes, when I stay over …

I can’t wait until the Academy Awards. More precisely, I can’t wait until the Academy Awards end. If I have to see one more “news” item on who plans to wear what designer’s dress to …

On Sunday, March 22nd, I will celebrate my twenty-fifth birthday. Not only does this mean that an entire quarter of a century has passed since I made my bald, underdressed, and typically hostile debut into …

I remember the first time that I really became aware of Madonna’s existence. During my elementary school and junior high school years, my parents did not allow me to have the radio on while I …

Back in college, after a night of standing around in some taproom or other, occasionally I had the good fortune to bring some unsuspecting boy back to my room for a little bit of smooching. …