Out With The Crowd ventured into the NL East late last week when I interviewed Lauren, the head rodeo clown at LoveMyBravos.com, about bullpen-management issues, stupid baby names, and J. Hey’s new look.

Sarah D. Bunting: Who’s your favorite acquisition for the Braves since last season?

Lauren: Our roster barely changed from 2011. We had a great club last year but never had it firing on all cylinders. Most fans would say our greatest change in the offseason was dealing Derek Lowe to the Indians…in spite of us being responsible for $10MM of his $15MM salary this year.

We have a rookie shortstop — Tyler Pastornicky — who is doing exactly as expected. Otherwise, there haven’t been any significant changes.

So you don’t have a least favorite acquisition either? Or is that where Pastornicky comes in? …The clubhouse guy probably isn’t a big fan of his. “It’s as bad as Saltalamacchia!”

Ha ha, poor Salty. You know, I don’t have a least favorite. I didn’t think I was going to like the additions of Livan Hernandez or Chad Durbin to our bullpen, but Durbin’s been great in his last few outings and Livo is hilarious. He has a lipstick-red glove and uses Pitbull’s “Give Me Everything” as his intro song.

What was your favorite departure?

While Derek Lowe amused me when he wasn’t pitching, I am glad we found a taker for him. As is to be expected with the Braves, we have too much pitching and there just wasn’t a spot for a repeat of his 2011 performance.

One of our former starters, Kris Medlen, is stuck in the bullpen because we don’t have a spot for him in the rotation. Luckily he’s one of the few pitchers out there who really is great at every role. Derek Lowe had a horrible 2011. 9-17 record with an ERA over 5 and a WHIP over 1.5. We didn’t want him back. Medlen can start, spot-start, throw one inning or 6 in long-relief, or close if we need him to. He’s a fantastic asset.

I’m sorry, I’m a Mets fan. You’re going to have to explain to me what that is. Use small words. …What about unwanted departures. Anyone you were sad to see go?

Hmm…unwanted departures… Well, our team is pretty solid. Tim Hudson only missed a few weeks with his off-season back surgery and no one expects Chipper Jones to play full-time this year. I’ve heard a major clubhouse presence is Peter Moylan, our Aussie sidearm reliever. He’s still in extended spring training recovering from another surgery. He’s only signed to a AAA contract this year, but I’d expect to see him called up when he’s physically ready.

It sounds like you’re pretty content with the team’s makeup — what’s your biggest worry about the 2012 Braves?

Fredi Gonzalez overusing the bullpen again. Can our Rookie of the Year closer Craig Kimbrel throw in 79 games again and stay healthy? Can our all-star setup man Jonny Venters trot out for 85 games again? Our 7th-inning man Eric O’Flaherty pitched in 75 games. Luckily Fredi has eased off the big three and put a little more weight on the shoulders of the rest of the bullpen, but without Venters and Kimbrel I don’t see us in the post-season.

Sidebar: Do you think that’s the biggest contributor to how Atlanta’s season ended up last year?

I think last September came down to two things: we never got everything working at the same time (pitching, offense, defense), and I think some players were worn down and wouldn’t admit it.

By “some players” do you mean J. Alias Heyward? And do you agree with my pet theory that there’s something still off with him? Understand: I love that guy. I want him to kill it. But something ain’t right still.

Yes. And Martin Prado, and the back end of the bullpen. Heyward’s doing better this year. He lost something like 20 lbs. in the off-season and worked a lot on his swing with the new hitting coach. He’s doing great in the stolen base department (I think he’s 8 for 9? let me check that) and he’s making more plays in the outfield.

I haven’t had a good look since spring training.

I think getting back to a healthy weight as well as making some mental changes has helped him improve this season.

Yeah…he was looking, like, frightened at the plate last year.

I saw the same thing. (Yes, 8 for 9 in SBs.)

Where do you see the team finishing this season? NL East isn’t quite the scrum of haplessness in years past. (Flushing excepted, sigh.)

Poor Mets.

As an eternally optimistic fan, I think we have all the tools to finish in first place. There are a few things we have to do, though: stay healthy, give our regulars enough rest to make it down the stretch, and win within the division. We seem to play on the level of our opponents — by that I mean, a sub-.500 team comes into town, and we can’t beat them. We play a division leader, and we win. A huge key will be having a winning record against the Nationals, the Phillies, the Marlins, and the Mets. If you can’t beat your own division, do you deserve to be in the playoffs?

That answers my next question — who do you see winning the division — so who do you see in the World Series this year?

I’d love this World Series to be Braves vs. Rangers, even though it would be hard on the Rangers to lose three years in a row.

Ha! If it’s not your boys, who would get to the Classic out of the NL?

I think the Nationals have a great team. It’ll be hard to bump them out of first place. Hate that their closer Drew Storen is on the bench after elbow surgery (he’s such a fun one to watch) but they have a lot of excitement up in DC over Harper and Strasburg. The rest of their team isn’t bad, either. Michael Morse seems to kill us.

Any pleasant surprises so far this year? Can be a Brave-y thing or something elsewhere in baseball.

A wonderful surprise this year has been the continued success of a few of our young players. First baseman Freddie Freeman is absolutely raking and plays Gold-Glove-caliber 1B — last year he was the first player to ever get the rookie triple crown and not win Rookie of the Year. He should be the All-Star Game starter, in my opinion. If pitchers Brandon Beachy and Mike Minor continue to increase their innings, they’re going to be as well known as Maddux, Glavine, and Smoltz. They really are that good, and no one seems to know about them.

Any un-pleasant surprises?

I think everyone is a little disappointed in the fall of Jair Jurrjens. He went from being an All-Star in 2011 (and many thought he should have been the NL starter) to being sent down to AAA after a weak start to 2012.

Just one of many bombs on my fantasy team, so yeah.

He says his knee (which has given him problems) is okay and that his health is fine. No one seems to know the problem. So, he’ll work it out in Gwinnett. Sorry about your loss. We really don’t know what happened after the ASG.

He’s the least of my problems (Aubrey Huff, etc.).

Aubrey Huff is so weird and funny and gross. I like him.

Aubrey Huff needs to not go on the DL because he’s sad about his divorce. I’m trying to win some fuckin’ money over here.

Maybe he should give his wife back her red thong and they’ll be happy again. Or maybe he should stop going out after games so much.

Play through the pain, Daisy. I’ve got Bay out too. Anyway! If you could tell Fredi one thing, what would it be?

Honestly, nothing comes to mind. A lot of fans don’t like his bullpen management (among other things), but I think he’s doing a pretty good job considering the pressure he’s under. I certainly don’t think I would be better at it! I can just hear myself as manager: “You were rude that one time, so you’re not going to play. You’re cute, so you’re starting. Jonny, Meds, Prado, Delgado — you all have to wear your socks up today because that’s my favorite.”

Hee. I’d be the same. “Come here, Turner. I want to tell you something. About your hair, using scissors.”

Ha ha, I love Justin Turner. And I love that he and one of our resident redheads (Freddie Freeman) use the same walkup song.

Last question! Anything bugging you? Any recent stories circulating that are getting on your nads? Mine is Mo. That situation makes me very sad.

You know, the Mo story really is a tragedy. My first thought was, well, will he say “that’s it” and call it a career? Reminds me of Billy Wagner going down with the oblique tear at the end of 2010, and ending his career on the DL. Great players — closers or otherwise — should be able to leave on their own terms.

Sadly, athlete bodies just don’t hold up the way we’d like. The Julio Francos are few and far between.

I had to turn away from the photos. It was like seeing a racehorse pull up lame. You know what’s next and it ain’t good.

Exactly!

On a shallower note, though, at least we’ve all shut up about the goddamn Pujols Homer Watch for a little while.

I hoped that his move to the American League and the left coast would mean I’d hear less about him, but no. Watch him go on a Dan Uggla tear, though. New big contract, new city, sucks for the first little while. Then bam — 30-something-game hitting streak, end the year with 36 homers.

Also, he’s actually 51 years old. The old bones need time to warm up again.

Ha ha, he totally is. I mean, I’m younger than Uggla and obviously not in as good shape, and I have no idea how he still gets around so well.

Anything else on your nerves? Local sports coverage? Irrational opponent hatred? Ozzie? Let it out, girl.

Chip Caray is one of our local broadcasters and he’s surprisingly entertaining. He’s not quite as excitable as he used to be, but it’s great to hear him yell (example: McCann’s grand slam off Halladay).

The only soapbox-y thing that I could rant about all day is all the Chipper worship. I was never much of a fan (he once made my brother cry at a Make-A-Wish Foundation Christmas party) and while I appreciate his contributions between the lines, I’m so glad this is his last season. I’m so tired of hearing everyone talk about him like he’s a first-ballot Hall of Famer.

…Okay, he deserves that. I’m just ready to turn the page. He’s not the alpha and omega of major league baseball. (Follow-up question: who is, then? I don’t have an answer to that, but I don’t want to see his baked-bean teeth on my TV anymore.)

I hate him for the “Shea” thing.

A lot of people thought that was ridiculous.

When the kid gets a little older, he’s going to think it’s ridiculous. (Or she, I don’t remember what flavor it is.)

I think it might have been different if Shea had been a girl. The biggest uproar here was, “That’s a girl’s name! Did he really do that?!”

Could have been worse. Could have been the Vet.

Sun Life Stadium.

The Juice Box.

Lauren cheers for her Braves at LoveMyBravos.com. You can also follow her on Twitter @BravesLove, where I’m sure she’d be very happy to talk about the Moyer/Jones dust-up. (Not really. Also, cram it, LARRY.)

Tags:   and his name is DAN Uggla   Atlanta Braves   Aubrey Huff   Billy Wagner   Brandon Beachy   Brian McCann   Bryce Harper   Chad Durbin   Chip Caray   Chipper "LAAAAAARRRRRY" Jones   Craig Kimbrel   Derek Lowe   dillholery   Drew Storen   Eric O'Flaherty   Freddie Freeman   Fredi Gonzalez   Greg Maddux   Hateful Buntsy Should Never Have Signed Up For Fantasy Baseball   irrational baseball hate-ons   Jair Jurrjens   Jarrod Saltalamacchia   Jason Alias Heyward   Jason Bay   John Smoltz   Jonny Venters   Julio Franco   Justin Turner   Kris Medlen   Livan Hernandez   Mariano Rivera   Martin Prado   Michael Morse   Mike Minor   Out With The Crowd   Ozzie Guillen   Peter Moylan   Poo-Holes   Roy Halladay   Stephen Strasburg   Tim Hudson   Tom Glavine   Tyler Pastornicky