The Vine, Anniversary Edition: April 29, 2010
Dear Sars,
Would love a little help figuring out what the heck I am remembering here.
It’s something I saw as a kid in the mid-to-late eighties on a children’s program. I’m pretty sure it was a televised short of the type often included in shows like Sesame Street. But I don’t think it was Sesame Street, in fact I think it was most likely a British show. This was in Australia, I should add, and I think I might even have watched it in class rather than at home on regular TV, just to make it even more difficult to pin down.
I seem to remember it being live-action with stop-motion/claymation elements, though I’m not entirely sure on that, it could have been regular animation. Also, the story might have been narrated via voice-over rather than playing out on its own.
The short was about a girl who goes to a supermarket with her mother, and while peering into the deep freezer she discovers a little person — a girl or young woman, I think — living in amongst the boxes of frozen peas and fish fingers. I can’t remember whether she actually talks to the freezer girl or not, but she worries about how cold it must be living in the freezer, and so when she goes home she makes (possibly with her mother’s help) a set of tiny knitted clothes, a hat, scarf, gloves, etc. The next time they go shopping she gives them to the freezer girl who puts them on and is very happy.
I remember being completely fascinated by this story, the girl living in the freezer, and especially the teeny tiny clothes, and I’ve never forgotten it. I just have no idea where it came from. I’ve tried Googling, but have found that searching the internet with the terms “girl,” “in,” and “freezer” is a bad idea if you ever want to sleep again. YouTube similarly turned up nothing (that wasn’t horrifying in some way).
At this point just a little validation that I didn’t completely imagine this would be appreciated, as no one I’ve ever mentioned it to has had a clue.
Mum Probably Had To Drag Me Out Of The Freezer Section For Weeks
*****
Hi Sars,
I am hoping some well-endowed readers can help me with this one. I am a 38I or 36J depending on the brand, and I am trying to find a sports bra that will let me run, do aerobics, do jumping jacks, etc. without extreme discomfort and mortification.
Specialty bra shops in NYC like Town Shop are great for regular bras, but have not been much help with the sport variety. I am currently wearing a Goddess sports bra that hooks in the back, in the correct size, under a Nike pullover T-back that’s a size too small to keep things, shall we say, compressed. It’s the best solution I’ve found so far but it’s not great. Any ideas? Thanks!
Melissa
Dear Melissa,
Try Bare Necessities; they have a good number of sports bras, and if you see a type you like, you can Google from there to find it in your size if BN doesn’t have it.
Readers, can you suggest a similar site or sites where it’s easier to search by sport or impact level? Athleta’s site lets you do that, but their bras only go up to DD.
*****
Dear Sars,
I’m going crazy trying to remember the name of a book I recall from my childhood, and I think the readers can help. The book was about two little girls, sisters, who were Jewish. If I recall correctly, their mother was very sick and had been hospitalized or was in an institution, but I can’t recall why. I think they were living with their father and maybe an aunt, and that the mom returned at the end of the book. I also think they might have lived in Brooklyn or some other part of the city, or maybe in your home state of New Jersey?
As a Catholic kid, the book made a huge impression on me because it taught me something of Jewish culture, which I didn’t know anything about at the time. The family kept kosher and I’m pretty sure there were descriptions of “meat meals” and “milk meals” as well as the separate plates they used. I think I recall a description of fruit — maybe sliced bananas — eaten with sour cream and sugar. I also recall the girls skating around and singing that song that goes, “Oh you can’t get to heaven / on roller skates / ’cause you’ll roll right by / those pearly gates.”
Please, please, I implore you to ask the readers if they can figure this one out, because it’s driving me insane and Google is not helping. Instead I’m compulsively reading Jezebel’s “Fine Lines” archive and reading about all the other children’s/YA books I’ve forgotten I once loved.
Thanks so much! I love TN and you once published a letter of mine, years and years ago, about my jackass ex-boyfriend. (And I should have taken your advice then, and didn’t, and boy was that ever a mistake! Take heed, readers!)
C
Dear C,
Can’t help with the book, but I’d love to know what I said about your jack-ex. Feel free to throw us a link.
Readers, any thoughts on the book?
*****
Hi Sars and Nation —
I am going nuts trying to track down a short story I heard some years ago. It was read out loud for a group to discuss, so I never saw which book it was in (anthology or whatever) and can’t remember the author or title. It creeped me out but good and I’d love to read it again.
The best I can recall the story, it was told as if we are listening to a single voice speaking pleasantly almost through to the end, when we get a brief glimpse of the speaker’s thoughts just as the story closes.
The setting appears to be a primary-school classroom and the teacher is talking to her new students. She leads them, little by little, into doing something awful, maybe turning their parents in to the state or something of that nature. At the very end, the teacher looks over her class of little students innocently selling out their families, and observes that the entire process had taken only ten minutes.
Still gives me chills (and makes me angry) to this day, and I’m just dying to know what it was! Does this ring bells for anyone?
Just write me off as a Google failure
*****
Hi Sars —
This might possibly be the dumbest Ask The Readers question ever, but here goes.
Many years ago — let’s say, mid-to-late ’80s, I read a poem that was, essentially, an extended pun based on tree names. It began:
I pine fir yew, and also balsam
and continued in that vein for a dozen or so lines. Other snippets I recall include:
and evergreen it stays, when once cypress yew to my heart.
(A-hem)locked is that heart, only yew hold the key…
Please say…in April, May, or Juniper ’twill be.
So obviously this isn’t great literature, and I suppose it’s not terribly clever either, but when I was 12 I thought it was awfully charming. I remembered it a year or two ago and tried Googling it, but if it’s out there in its entirety, I haven’t been able to find it.
And while we’re at it, wasn’t there, in that same time period, some punny song about fish? In the ocean? With some line about “just for the halibut” and “Not now, I have a haddock”? (Which is how my daughter says “headache,” which is what brought this to mind.) This song got regular play on the Top 40 radio station in my hometown…which admittedly was out in the middle of nowhere (West Texas) and may have had little relation to what the rest of the country was listening to.
Thanks for everyone’s assistance.
Groan
*****
Hi Sars,
I’ve decided to finally ask you and the readers two questions I’ve had for quite a while.
1) I really miss the Fire Joe Morgan blog. Really miss it. Could you recommend a good, smart baseball blog? Preferably one that does not hate the Red Sox?
2) A very long time ago, as pre-teen, I read my way through my library’s collection of early-twentieth-century British mysteries (mostly Christie). I remember one particular short story about a detective who is asked to figure out which of four sons gets an inheritance, based on the clues in the father’s will. The answer was (spoiler!) the only son without a mustache, referred to in the will as the King of Hearts.
Many years later, I have tried to find this short story to no avail. I’ve searched all the short-story collections of Christie and Sayers, and a couple others, with no luck. I’ve tried Googling, but Google’s stupid popularity matrix made it impossible (I love Google, but I really wish they’d let me do complex Boolean searches). So perhaps you or your readers could help?
Beadgirl
Dear Bead,
The non-partisan baseball blogs I read include Circling the Bases, the Hardball Times, Rob Neyer’s Sweet Spot blog, and It’s About The Money, Stupid. I think you can subscribe to all of these on Twitter; follow their headlines, see which ones you like, and unfollow the ones you don’t end up reading much. I also subscribe to Bill James’s site, which is a bargain at $3 a quarter, and I don’t read their site that often but I like the Pitchers & Poets podcast.
I haven’t found a worthy replacement for FJM on the humor side, although following Ken Tremendous on Twitter helps…but only a little.
Readers — any general baseball blogs to recommend? or Bosox-centric ones?
*****
Hi Sars!
Congrats on the Vine-iversary! I have a Mystery Book that’s been bugging me for over 20 years now, and I’m hoping that the good folk of the Nation can help me put this one to rest.
It was a hardcover book my grandmother found at the library. This would have been in the mid-to-late 1980s, but what I remember of the cover (or perhaps the condition of the book) made me think it may have been slightly older. For what it’s worth, the cover had a picture of a girl, but done with a really lurid color palette (fluorescent pink, electric blue, bright mustard-y yellow. Oh, the ’80s!).
It was somewhere between a chapter book and a young adult novel. I must have been 7 or 8 years old at the time, possibly as young as 6. (It was clearly NOT a book for a 6-year-old — in fact, I was so disturbed by it that I made my grandmother return it to the library — but I was reading on a crazy-advanced level, so I can understand the miscalculation.) I doubt I was any older, because I could handle more mature/adult books at age 9, and at age 10, I was happily reading Tom Clancy novels and ashamed at my younger self for being horrified by something as prosaic as this.
From what I remember of the book, it was about two girls. The first was a modern-day girl, about age 14, complicated family life, bitchy streak a mile wide, etc. The second girl was probably around the same age, but some sort of prehistoric, Cro-Magnon type. Her story started out with a fairly graphic (to me, at the time) description of her giving birth in a cave. Afterward, one of the people attending the delivery pushed down on her stomach to bring out the afterbirth, and instead pushed out a second baby. As I recall, there was something horribly wrong with Baby #2, and the tribe elder was going to leave it outside to die of exposure.
The kicker is: THAT’S NOT WHAT BOTHERED ME. What wigged me out was that the first girl, the modern-day one, said the word “fuck.” Yes, “fuck.” I think she even wrote it in her diary: “I say ‘fuck.'” With that, I gave it back to my grandmother and told her it was too old for me and that I shouldn’t be reading it. Something I promptly regretted, because I never found out what happened. Did the cavewoman meet up with her future counterpart? Was there time travel involved? Were they related somehow? It’s been more than 20 years and I still want to know.
Does this ring a bell to anyone?
Little Did I Know It Would Become My Favorite Word
Tags: Ask The Readers Bill James Craig Calcaterra Fire Joe Morgan RIP health and beauty Jason Rosenberg popcult Rob Neyer Sesame Street sites
@Little Did I Know: If it’s not The Twelfth of October, it might be A Bone From a Dry Sea, by Peter Dickinson. I don’t remember a birth scene (though it was a while ago), so it’s a long shot, but it’s got the same modern-day/prehistoric setting and a complicated family life for the modern girl. I remember liking it a lot as a kid and when I reread it as an adult.
Echoing the love for Enell bras. They are called “The Last Resort” on Title 9, but you will probably need to order directly from Enell for mega-sizes like me. They are amazing!
I was going to suggest Junonia (www.junonia.com) for Melissa, but they only go up to 38G. I figured I’d mention it for others who were interested in sports bras / plus-sized workout clothes.
@Melissa – I have ginormous boobs too, and when I have to do the sports bra thing, I wear a regular underwire bra (admittedly, an old lady one – not the fancy Saturday night kind), with a non underwire sports bra over top. Yes, it gives me a kind of mono-boob thing, but it keeps the girls where they belong, and prevents them from flopping about.
It’s not ideal – I’m totally checking out Debi’s suggestion – but it’s better than nothing.
Hey TN! This is “C” from the third question above. Thanks to you guys for figuring out that I was looking for the “Amy and Laura” books! I never would have figured it out on my own and I definitely intend to track them down. It will be interesting to read them from an adult perspective since I was probably about 10-11 years old the last time I read them.
Melissa – I agree with everyone who suggested the Enell bra. You might try purchasing one at http://www.seejanerun.com. This month they have a 20% off special. They also have a 10% off discount for new customers (code: NEW10 at checkout) but I don’t think you can combine the discounts. I placed my first order with them last month and my bra got to me in two days, plus the customer service was excellent (I screwed something up and had to call about my order).
Sars – I was “Confused Chick” in the February 11, 2003 Vine. https://tomatonation.com/vine/the-vine-february-11-2003/ Yep, been reading that long. I clearly did not realize at the time that my boyfriend was a jackass. It took about 6 1/2 more years for that to penetrate as I ignored your advice and continued an on-and-off (mostly off) relationship with him. Oh, the trouble I could have saved myself! :)
Second the Shockabsorber bra! Man, that thing is TIGHT. It’s like wearing a (very supportive) vise. I don’t necessarily agree that you NEED to go up in the band, because I feel like the tightness is what makes it so effective, but you could give it a shot and see if it works for you if it will give you the extra cup space you need.
Melissa
You might also try http://www.breakoutbras.com – they have the Freyas that others have mentioned above, they also carry the Goddess brand one that I love. It looks like their sizes all go up to an H or an I. Plus, free shipping! :)
Thanks for all the suggestions for blogs, guys! I have a lot of reading to do tomorrow.
@Beadgirl
I feel like that story is at the edge of my mind too, but can’t come up with it. Wanted to say a part of a Lord Peter Wimsey story, but not according to my father (my go to expert on this stuff). He couldn’t place it unfortunately, but suggested perhaps Ellery Queen. Let us know if you do find it, it is going to bug me!
Melissa, I have a friend who loves bravissimo.com, and their entire thing is bras going up to, like, size K or something. She says the only thing is that shipping to the U.S. is kind of a pain.
You guys! You totally nailed it with The Children’s Story! Woooo!
I mean, I just read it online and it totally creeped me out afresh, but, thank you all. That’s been something on my list for years now.
@Renee: I’m working at the moment for an educational supply company that has a whole series of Reader’s Theatre products. Now I’ll have to go riffling through the stock tomorrow and see if they offer the Children’s Story script. I can’t imagine how to de-creepify enough that for grade school theatre, but then, how many of us loved The Lottery when we were little?
Thanks again everyone.
I’m wondering if C is combining memories of one or more of he All-of-a-kind family books (Jewish, Lower East Side in the early part of the century, very specific descriptions of things like keeping kosher etc.) with the Marilyn Sachs books (Jewish in 1940s NYC, but you wouldn’t know it except for subtle clues, as far as I recall. I don’t think I figured out they were Jewish until I read it as an adult. The olden-days Halloween celebrations, on the other hand, made a huge impression on me–hitting each other with socks filled with flour?).
Read both series a million times, as well as all the other Marilyn Sachs books (Veronica Ganz, the bully who pesters Laura, has her own loose grouping of books, including one where she is an adult, the mother? of the protagonist). http://www.marilynsachs.com/
Darn it, tricked by missing the “newer comments” button again. I see it was the Sachs books after all. Well, I do recommend the Sydney Taylor All-of-a-kind family books too!
I love my ShockAbsorber bras. They are tricky to get into but I play football, do Step and Aerobics in them with no problems.
I am loving the litany of books, but hating that most of the books I think sound awesome don’t come up when I search my local library online. Rats!
Kriesa, “The little girl and the tiny doll” was the freezer story I remembered. Fantastic. Either it’s the same one the OP was after too, or that particular publishing niche is a lot bigger than I thought…
Walkoff Walk is a baseball blog to check out.
Thank you all so much for the great suggestions on bras! I am grateful and the people in my aerobics class will probably be even more so :-)
Thanks too for the reminder of the Amy and Laura books – I loved those!
Thanks for all who supplied the “Wet Dream” answer…and now that I know that song actually does exist, I need never listen to it again.
@Gabbiana – Holy f**k, that’s IT! I can’t believe someone got it so quickly… and that someone else was looking for it, too. (You’re welcome, Steph!) The cover is even worse than I remembered, but I really enjoyed some of Norma Fox Mazer’s other novels when I read them in middle/high school, so maybe I won’t be so put off this time ’round. Yay!
(Oh, and thanks for all the sports bra recs–I nearly wrote in on that topic myself. A serendipitous Vine all around!)
@Beadgirl: Hate to break it to you, but that story about the detective, the four sons and the un-mustachioed “King of Hearts”? Not Christie, not Sayers, not any other veddy British crime-solver….
No, that was Encyclopedia Brown in “The Case of the Hidden Will,” from the collection “Encyclopedia Brown and the Case of the Dead Eagles.”
(Helps to have a school-age son to figure these things out.)
@Stephanie – two years ago when my as yet to be husband and I went to London I made an appointment for a proper fitting at Bravissimo the minute we arrived at the hotel. It was great and I am so happy I did it. The women in the shop were very helpful and actually surprised that an American was there, which surprised me.
Melissa,
Town Shop has gone horribly downhill since Mrs. K died, but if you haven’t been to Bratenders yet, try them. They outfit all of the dancers on Broadway, and are expert at really hard to fit sizes, including in sports bras. I’m a 32F, and I got my Enells there. They have other options too. They are on 9th Ave, at 44th Street. Appointment only. Totally worth it.
http://bratenders.com/
1888-GET-A-BRA
@RJ–Yup, they definitely pray to “Our Leader”, and it is just as scary as it sounds. We read that story when I was in 5th grade, and the only thing I remembered until this Vine was the part where they cut up the flag so everyone could have a piece and then throw the flagpole out the window.
A quick googling of the title and author pulled the full-text up for me online, and it’s a fast but creepy read.
I’m a 35H, and I just bought a sports bra, the Enell, and yes, they are wonderful. If your size is too easy to get on, try going down one. For bras, I’ve really liked Elomi, (which had a different style of sportsbra that was good, but I do like the compression style better) and I have found Freya to be a good line as well.
Do you have a specialty bra shop in your area? Where they don’t write down your size, but let you know that you’re an x size in this bra and y size in the other bra? That ask you what you’re looking for, and bring you several options to your change room and then check the fit for you once you’ve put it on?
I totally recommend this style of bra shop. I am now much, much better fitted bra-wise.
Jeff, I’m laughing here. I remember reading Encyclopedia Brown (the hitchhiker with the cold chocolate bar has stayed with me, and wasn’t there one about a town with only two barbers, one good and one bad?), and I’m guessing I read all of these mysteries all at the same time, and got them confused. Perhaps I was so convinced it was early 20th century British because it was fairly implausible in a modern legal setting (which it is, in an adult book.
Thanks!
Tanya: so . . . I guess it’s not Ellery Queen.
Speaking of Encyclopedia Brown, he has a cameo in Chelsea Cain’s Confessions of a Teen Sleuth, an “autobiography” by Nancy Drew. Highly recommended.
@melissa- I’m a 40K myself, but the 40J from Royce works for me. I pair it with an UnderArmour tank that has a shelf bra sewn in and a compression tank from UA over that. That combo has been the first thing that’s let me run without a decent amount of bounce. Personally, I *want* to be compressed, but not down low so that it hits my ribs/lungs so hard. Here’s a link to the Royce- it’s the best thing I’ve found so far and I can wear it just on it’s own with some bouncing, but not so much that there’s any pain when on the elliptical machine:
http://www.wizardofbras.com/roycesports826.aspx
@Kriesa Aaaaaaaaah! Thank you so much for finding that, and @Freezer thanks for reminding me of it. I’ve just dicovered TN for book recommendations – you guys are a treasure trove :)
Beadgirl: I read a ton of Agatha Christie books in junior high and I clearly remember reading a short story about a detective determining the heir is the son without a moustache. I would have bet a lot of money on it being a Poirot short story. Could it have been from a full-length Christie book? It has been so long I can’t remember if she ever had Poirot solve a little side case while working on the main storyline, but that sounds possible.
Around the same time (mid to late ’80s) I subscribed to Alfred Hitchcock’s Mystery magazine. It also could have been in one of those “5 minute mystery” books, they’re like an adult version of Encyclopedia Brown. Something like this:
http://www.amazon.com/Five-Minute-Mysteries-Challenging-Murder-Mayhem/dp/0894716905 (That cover looks VERY familiar to me, the others in the series not so much.)
Sorry I couldn’t be more specific. Those were my three main sources of mystery stories in the ’80s so my best guesses are Christie, AHMM, or something like the 5 Minute Mysteries. Good luck tracking it down if it was in AHMM. :(
—
I also loved the Amy and Laura books and the tiny freezer doll story, this post was a nice walk down memory lane for me. :)
@C, yep, it’s the Amy and Laura series by Marilyn Sachs. I LOVED those books!