Dear Sars,

The letters over the past couple of weeks have made me want to ask a baseball expert a question that I’ve been thinking about for a long while now.And please, let me be clear and preface this by saying that I don’t mean any offense to you or your readers or anyone who follows the sport.

See, here’s the thing: I hate baseball.And when I say that, I don’t just think it’s kind of boring or slow or not really my cup of tea; I actively hate it.I think it’s an astoundingly unappealing sport — aesthetically, above all else — but physically, mentally, and on just about every other level anyone can come up with.I’ve tried — oh, how I’ve tried — to get into it, and there just isn’t one molecule of my brain that will ever give a shit about baseball, and that’s pretty much that.Live and let live, right?

But, no.I’ve realized the reason I hate baseball so much — because, ordinarily, it would just be one of those daily irritations that we all have to deal with — is because it is EVERYWHERE.I’m a Bostonian (yeah, I know!I swear, I’d move if I could), and while this year is exponentially worse than others, it’s the same thing every summer: baseball, baseball, baseball, every single place you go.You go out with your friends to a bar and everyone stares at the TV and talks baseball.At work, my co-workers give me a daily, eight-hour summation of the previous night’s game.(How on earth can a conversation about a game take longer than the actual game itself?)You ride home on the subway and that’s what people are talking about.You tell someone that you’re from Boston and they launch into a monologue about the Red Sox.You get woken up at 3 AM by people running up and down your street screaming about the Red Sox.

And — this is the annoying thing — it’s the de facto conversation starting point for practically EVERY interaction with someone whom you don’t know very well.A guy moves into the apartment below you, and the first words out of his mouth are, “You have to come downstairs sometime and watch the game.”Vague acquaintances greet you with, “Did you see that triple play last night?”Cashiers in stores delay ringing up your purchase to find out your prediction for that night’s game.And you hang out with the few friends you have who aren’t into the sport and try to find other people like you, and…they just don’t exist, really.Because baseball is IT.

I’m painting a grim picture, but seriously, it drives me crazy.I was trying to explain it to a baseball-obsessed friend the other night, and the only thing I could come up with was for her to imagine something that she’s not fond of (she picked mushrooms) assuming this monumental exposure in her life.A world in which everyone eats mushrooms at work all day long, and talks about them all the time, and goes out at night to eat mushrooms, and the mushroom section of the paper is three times the size of the book review, and complete strangers at parties want to talk about mushrooms for hours, and mushrooms are poetry in motion, and people meet a mushroom in the flesh and say it’s the highlight of their life, and the guy you have a crush on blows the whole thing by talking about mushrooms for 20 minutes without stopping for a breath, and people hate each other and get in fistfights because someone likes a different species of mushrooms than their own, and people will be in foul moods because their mushrooms got soggy last night, and when you walk out your front door in the morning, you won’t go more than 60 seconds, guaranteed, without hearing about mushrooms, and when you tell someone you don’t like mushrooms, they look at you like you’re the first such person they’ve ever met, and when you do meet someone who hates mushrooms too, you band together in a little secret society and try to sniff out other people to join your secret cult.My friend’s reply was, “Yeah, that would kind of suck.”

I realize baseball isn’t going anywhere; this is America, and this is Boston.Baseball makes so many people so happy, and I’m honestly happy for them.But I guess my question is: as a baseball fan, does the utter, utter ubiquity of baseball ever bother you?Does it bother you that people who don’t in any way care for it get bombarded by it all the time?Does it bother you that people like me (for whom baseball really was neither here nor there before I moved to Boston) now wander around longing for a mute button so that they could just go a few damn hours without having to hear about it?

Glad the Red Sox Won the World Series, Because At Least They Might Stop Talking About It in Five Months

Dear Glad,

No.It doesn’t bother me.

I have to tell you, I think your resentment of baseball’s “ubiquity” is out of proportion to the actual situation.It’s one thing to find various omnipresent aspects of the culture annoying, on their own merits or because they’re everywhere — I could have done with a lot less Friends, for example, because I never watched the show and just really didn’t care — but you’re kind of acting like we’re persecuting you on purpose.Which we aren’t.We’re just excited about the game.

You aren’t, and that’s fine, but all you really have to do is say mildly that you don’t follow baseball, or nod and smile and change the subject, or buy a Walkman.

I know you must get a ton of email but I really wanted to compliment you on your answer to J about getting involved politically.I’m involved with legislative issues concerning the elderly and am often asked how a person can become more politically involved. The only thing I would add is, when you pick an issue you feel passionately about do a little research as to how the funding works for that particular issue.As crass as it sounds, learn to “follow the money.”For example, I work on aging issues and can track how the funding starts in Congress and makes its way to my local office.This becomes important when budget shortfalls or cuts can potentially impede the services we provide to seniors in our area.

Also, try and learn how a bill is passed in your state, when the legislative cycle starts in your state (when do local legislators turn in their bill ideas for the next session, et cetera), and which legislators represent your particular area.You would be amazed at how many state legislators and their assistants are receptive to hearing ideas that could potentially become new bills, as long as you’re positive and have facts to support your ideas.National and state legislators hear so little from their constituents that studies have shown if five to six people contact a legislator regarding an issue, they will probably make it a “hot button” issue in need of further investigation.

I know that so many people are like me and feel so let down today.But, I also know you reach so many younger voters and hope you can remind them they’ve registered to vote in all elections.A study by the Citizen’s League of Central Oklahoma (the area I’m from) showed that in presidential elections, the over-60 population constituted 20% of the vote total.In off-years (non-presidential), the percent went up to 40%.This is probably typical of most areas of the country and this is why you see legislators focus on issues such as Social Security and Medicare.They know when the polling doors open, older people are going to be lining up to vote whether it’s an “important” national election or not.We younger people have to develop that kind of reputation in order for issues important to us to become important to legislators, too.Look, my state’s electoral college votes are never going to go the candidate I vote for unless there is a major shift.But, my vote does make a bigger difference at the local level and I plan I using my right every single time the polling doors open.

Thanks for your wonderful site and writing.It’s been bookmarked in my favorites file for quite a while and I can’t seem to start my workday until I’ve read The Vine.Just don’t tell my boss.

randommuse

Dear Random,

Excellent advice on both counts.It is essential to vote every year.Of course the federal government influences all of our lives, but our state, county, and municipal governments do, too, on a daily basis — and knowing how they work, and who is working, for or against you is vital.My Congressman, for instance, has consistently voted in a fashion that makes me want to kick him in the shins, so I voted against him this year.It didn’t work, but that isn’t the point — the point is that a Democratic challenger actually made a decent run at the guy for the first time in several election cycles, and the incumbent is going to have to look at that and think maybe he needs to shape up.

You should know your legislators; you should know what your ballot initiatives mean (around here, they’re written so confusingly that a lot of the time people vote against something they actually would have voted for had it not been in stereo-instructions-ese).Pay attention.You don’t have to watch C-SPAN 2 on Friday night instead of going out to dinner or anything, but…be aware.Get aware.Stay aware.

A few like-minded writers and I are gearing up on a project that will help you and other readers find resources to make a difference over the next four years (and beyond).In the meantime, remember that making a difference is possible.As a reader emailed me yesterday, “Right: suit up.”

Hi Sars —

As an animal shelter worker, I was moved by your volunteer suggestions to “J” to throw in my two cents.I’m a woman and a liberal and support all the causes that go with that (Planned Parenthood, et cetera).However, animal shelters just do not make it on the radar usually.Shelters almost ALWAYS need volunteers. Sometimes it’s for the “fun” jobs like walking and brushing dogs, cuddling cats — but sometimes it may be just doing laundry or answering the phones.But trust me — that HELPS.That means you free up an employee to spend more time doing stuff that will help the animals even more.If you don’t have time for that — lots of shelters could use your old blankets, bedding, and towels to make comfy beds for the animals.

Another great thing?Go to the Salvation Army and load up on stuffed animals for the dogs to play with.Discount and dollar stores are a great source for cheapie cat toys and rawhides (the ULTIMATE item for a bored dog in a kennel).If everyone reading this dropped off a bag of rawhides, or fake mice, or blankets to their nearest shelter — they’d be doing an easy and MAJOR service (plus most places with give you a tax deductible receipt for your donation).I don’t think our current “administration” is going to pass a shelter budget initiative any time soon — so won’t you help please?Aside from adopting it’s the best you can do.

On behalf of the furry homeless

Dear Furry,

Excellent suggestion.I used to volunteer at an animal shelter, and mostly I cleaned cages and did feedings, but the head of the cat section really needed us volunteers to deal with that so that she could work her magic on the feral cats and make them adoptable.Which she did.

Also: Please, please spay and neuter your pets.One of the services shelters provide is low-cost spay/neuter services; if you have fertile pets, take advantage of those services, and if you give a donation to a shelter, know that many donations go towards keeping those services affordable.

Hi Sars,

My youngest child had a great teacher in grade school who encouraged poetry reading.The books used in the class should work for students learning English.Some of the books that were well loved were: Falling Up by Shel Silverstein, and any of his others, and A Pizza the Size of the Sun by Jack Prelutsky.There is also Poetry from A to Z, a guide for young writers compiled by Paul B. Janeczko.This last book has great poems in it and also some great hints on how to create poetry.I memorized one in that book and have recited it on occasion. I believe having a parlor skill is a welcome diversion in some cases.

Signed, Mutti

Dear Mutti,

Thanks for the resources.I loved Shel Silverstein as a kid, especially The Missing Piece.

Hi Sars,

How soon is it a good idea to tell someone you love them?I know, I know — you should tell them when you feel it, when it’s more important that they know than that they say it back, when you’re pretty sure it’s not just infatuation you’re feeling.All of those things are true.So.How many months are we talking?

I’m new here

Dear New,

It…doesn’t really work that way.It’s not like you pass an arbitrary time milestone and then it’s okay.Unfortunately.As you know.

You kind of know when it’s too soon.A week?Too soon.A month?Well, that depends — generally it’s too soon, but sometimes it’s not, and I can’t tell you whether that’s the case for you.I don’t know what’s the case for you at all; you haven’t given me anything to go on.

If it’s been longer than a month or so, and you feel it, say it.Holding it in doesn’t usually “help” anything anyway, so let it fly.

[11/4/04]

Share!