The United States government needs to legalize marijuana for recreational use, and they need to do so as soon as possible. For those of you who might have trouble reconciling this statement with my snippy …

Last night, I went to see Todd Solondz’s new film Happiness. When it ended, I strode purposefully out of the theater and down the stairs to the ladies’ room, locked myself into a stall, and …

EPISODE 3b: FLUFFY’S FAREWELL
Audiences learn what really happened to the Brady girls’ marmalade cat when a Buick Skylark flattens the hapless feline during the Bradys’ honeymoon. Everyone learns a valuable lesson about not getting too …

I voted for Bill Clinton twice. Well, actually, I voted against his opponents. George Bush seemed like a nice enough guy, but he used to run the CIA, and also he lied about the whole …

Okay, people, can we get started? Okay. I hope someone remembered to get me some cigarettes – okay, thank god. Pass that ashtray down here and let’s get this over with.
The first order of business …

It probably hasn’t escaped the notice of even the most casual Tomato Nation reader that I have a lot of hostility. I get annoyed easily; in fact, I get really annoyed really easily. But when …

On August 29, the Academy Of Television Arts And Sciences will dole out this year’s Emmy Awards. Let’s not discuss the fact that typing the words “Academy Of Television Arts And Sciences” gave me a …

In general, I dislike making generalizations about men, because it seems as though every time I take a swallow of my pint of Bass and gesture importantly with my cigarette while expounding on the similarity …

Last week, after two years as a proofreader, I quit my job at Penthouse Magazine. Yes, “that Penthouse Magazine.” I have had some exceedingly random jobs in my life – from stable hand to church …

I heard of Linda McCartney’s passing from my mother, who sent me an e-mail saying she felt very much saddened by Linda’s death. “It seems to be the beginning of the end of an era, …