PRELUDE
When I moved to New York, my father offered me two pieces of advice — don’t leave the cap off the toothpaste because the roaches will hop on your Crest, and don’t register to vote …

Clearly, the penal code has some problems that it needs to work through. Take, just as an example, the recent hardware store shoplifting case.Some highly-evolved guy nicked a number of items from his local True …

Yesterday, I went to the grocery store.I don’t like to go to the grocery store, for several reasons.First, most ofthe other shoppers assume that nobody else in the store has anything better to do than …

Well, you probably missed it.It didn’t appear in your Dayrunner’s list of bank holidays.Hallmark neglected to promote it.And while you may have inadvertently celebrated, you probably didn’t mean to.That’s right, folks.I mean National Masturbation Day.
According …

Return with me now to those thrilling days of yesteryear, when mere mention of the word “boner” could send Young Sarah into a paroxysm of hysterical giggling.In fact, nearly any mention of the male penis …

This week has progressed fairly uneventfully.I would have to say, aside from heat and humidity so thick that the miracle of evolution has begun in the primordial soup of my towel rack, that this week …

It’s like a breakup, it really is. You know it’s for the best, because the relationship doesn’t make you happy anymore, but as soon as you decide to end things? All you can think about …

Moving house sucks, no question, but the silver lining to the whole agonizing, cuticle-ravaging process is that, every time you move, you get to start over. You get to launch a hundred grand organizational and …

When you first hear the old saw about never discussing sex, religion, or politics in polite company, you think to yourself, my God how dull. Your mother explains to you the reasoning behind the principle …

Dear Thanksgiving: Bunting Camp Attendee,
Congratulations on your admission to Thanksgiving: Bunting Camp! It’s the participation and support of alcoholi– er, “campers” like yourself that have made T:BC the proud holiday tradition it is today, and …