Baseball

“I wrote 63 songs this year. They’re all about Jeter.” Just kidding. The game we love, the players we hate, and more.

Culture and Criticism

From Norman Mailer to Wendy Pepper — everything on film, TV, books, music, and snacks (shut up, raisins), plus the Girls’ Bike Club.

Donors Choose and Contests

Helping public schools, winning prizes, sending a crazy lady in a tomato costume out in public.

Stories, True and Otherwise

Monologues, travelogues, fiction, and fart humor. And hens. Don’t forget the hens.

The Vine

The Tomato Nation advice column addresses your questions on etiquette, grammar, romance, and pet misbehavior. Ask The Readers about books or fashion today!

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Articles in Stories, True and Otherwise

The Subheroes Chapter 7: Bedtime
September 3, 2004 – 9:18 AM | No Comment

Shelley told Olivia to sit on the brown couch in the office, so Olivia is sitting there, rubbing the strap of her bag with her thumb, watching Marie stick Post-It flags on a take-out menu. …

The Subheroes Chapter 6: Driver In Exile
August 23, 2004 – 9:15 AM | No Comment

Outside, the light has guttered down to the horizon behind the scrub pines, and the air is cool and soft like a sheet.
Inside, it’s warmer. A loaf of bread is sitting on the counter, cut …

The Show Did Go On
August 16, 2004 – 9:14 AM | One Comment

It’s the day of opening night, three-thirty in the morning. Your desk is a Brady Bunch card house of drafts and books and Post-Its, and you slump on the couch, twitchy with reheated coffee and …

The Subheroes Chapter 5: The Kid Enters The Picture
July 26, 2004 – 9:12 AM | One Comment

The first thing she notices about the bar is that it smells funny. It doesn’t smell bad — but that’s what’s funny about it. There isn’t that fug of slopped beer and secondhand cologne. Everything …

The Subheroes Chapter 4: The Plan Falls Apart
July 19, 2004 – 9:12 AM | No Comment

Diz hands the hen back to me and holds his hand out to —
Okay, can I — I’m sorry, I need to just stop you here for a second.
Shelley freezes, hen under her arm lineman-style, …

The Subheroes Chapter 3: Henhouse of Buggin’
July 5, 2004 – 9:10 AM | No Comment

Diz frowns. “Do you think we need The Nose?”
“I think we might need The Nose, and I think better safe than sorry.”
“Sure, but if we don’t end up using her and she has to” — …

The Subheroes Chapter 2: Soup To Nuts
June 23, 2004 – 9:07 AM | No Comment

Slam! goes the phone, rrrrrump go the wheels of my desk chair, sssswish goes my messenger bag over my shoulders, and I’m halfway across the outer office when I see the baby, and I swear …

The Subheroes Chapter 1: Distraction
June 16, 2004 – 9:06 AM | No Comment

Every job, you need a different thing, a different combination. Sometimes, you only need Ro Jin. Sometimes, you need The Nose and Jenny, or The Nose and Jenny and a Driver and a Navigator and …

Today’s Box Scores
May 24, 2004 – 9:03 AM | No Comment

Sears 1, Sarah’s dread of having to deal with buying an air conditioner 0
And thank God, because I had a terrible experience the last time I bought an air conditioner. For starters, in my old …

The Famous Ghost Monologues, No. 24: Emily Bricker Skelton
May 17, 2004 – 8:48 AM | No Comment

One night, she wakes up for no good reason. She doesn’t remember dreaming, and she isn’t hungry. But she wakes up, and instead of going back to sleep, she gets up and puts a robe …