Corona #1
It’s the end of a long week, it’s hot, I just put on deodorant and my armpits have chosen to take that as a challenge, and these goddamn Old Navy cuffed capris don’t have …

I tuned in to Oprah last Tuesday, as I try to do every Tuesday, because I love Dr. Phil truly and deeply and I don’t care who knows it. Dr. Phil rules all within his …

I feel like a child, still, often — what I eat, what makes me laugh, the way I live, as though adulthood is merely an unsupervised and occasionally disagreeable slumber party. Crossing the continent, spending …

Regina: Standard, garden-variety “normal and nice.”
Sarah: But not gooey, starry-eyed “normal and nice.”
Regina: No. Just “normal and nice.”
Sarah: And not the “he always seemed so normal and nice until the SWAT team broke down his …

Notice that bottom of underwear drawer is visible.
Let two days pass.
Notice that most of bottom of underwear drawer is visible. Also notice rather gungy appearance of bathmat.
Let two days pass.
Spend ten minutes searching sock drawer …

On this day seventeen years ago, my father’s company transferred him to a satellite office in Peru.
Okay, not really, but check it out.
After my parents “broke the bad news to me at the breakfast table,” …

Whenever I hear one of my contemporaries waxing nostalgic about childhood, I have to suppress a snort. It’s not that I had an unhappy childhood by any means; I grew up with a loving family …

I do not like to throw up. Okay, nobody likes to throw up, obviously — it’s not an activity people list among their hobbies in personal ads, and we’ll never see Alex Trebek interviewing contestants …

1. contradiction
The cats love to go outside the apartment — love it. The hallway is their favorite place, their one true love. Hobey likes to sit at the front door and stare at the crack …

Regina: Let’s say you could do anything you wanted.
Sarah: Oh, yes — let’s.
Regina: No, really. Let’s say you could do whatever you wanted and get away with it.
Sarah: Okay. Hee.
Regina: What?
Sarah: Oh, just thinking about …