I mentioned in an article last fall that, one day, I’d like to invent something. At the time, I didn’t know what in particular I wanted to invent; I just knew that I wanted to …

I must stop watching Animal Planet. Every time I flip to Channel 86, it puts ideas in my head about acquiring kooky pets that have no business sharing a Manhattan studio with a human and …

I helped my best friend move last Friday. Ernie had to move a bunch of stuff from her old old apartment, which she’d sold, to her more recent old apartment, which she’d vacated after a …

I know, I know. It’s got you up nights. You lie in your bed, staring at the ceiling, the minutes stretching into hours, and you toss and turn and punch your pillow and say to …

I need a haircut again. As always, I’ve put off getting the haircut for several weeks longer than I should have, and my split ends have transformed my head into a fuzzy bell. The cycle …

Last Saturday, I returned home from a much-needed trip to Florida, staggered into my apartment, kicked my suitcase to one side, gave the cat a quick pat, and peeled off every stitch of clothing before …

Over the weekend, I stopped in at my parents’ house – I’d gone on a road trip, and I needed to return my trusty car Shadow to the carport where she lives most of the …

In my socks, I stand five feet ten inches. Well, really only five feet nine-and-three-quarters inches, but my driver’s license says five-ten, and I’ve learned not to argue with the New Jersey DMV, especially since …

I have a question to pose to the readership, and if anyone out there can answer this question, I’d really appreciate it. I’d like to know what I have to suck to get five minutes …

Thank god the holidays have ended. I like the holidays, but I’d had enough. I’d had enough shopping, I’d had enough eggnog, I’d had enough Y2Krisis “news,” I’d had enough “Deck The Halls” and “Auld …