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“I wrote 63 songs this year. They’re all about Jeter.” Just kidding. The game we love, the players we hate, and more.

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From Norman Mailer to Wendy Pepper — everything on film, TV, books, music, and snacks (shut up, raisins), plus the Girls’ Bike Club.

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Stories, True and Otherwise

Monologues, travelogues, fiction, and fart humor. And hens. Don’t forget the hens.

The Vine

The Tomato Nation advice column addresses your questions on etiquette, grammar, romance, and pet misbehavior. Ask The Readers about books or fashion today!

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Articles in The Vine

The Vine: January 11, 2006
January 11, 2006 – 3:37 PM | No Comment

Hey Sars,
I work with this girl at my college in a part-time job. She eventually was hired full-time at another place of business, but still decided to work weekends at the college. She lives quite …

The Vine: January 10, 2006
January 10, 2006 – 3:25 PM | No Comment

Dear Sars,
This story involves a Boy — but, happily, Boy is not
the problem. Mom is the problem. Fasten your seatbelt;
this will be a long one.
Boy and I met in April ’03 and got serious fairly
early; …

The Vine: January 6, 2006
January 6, 2006 – 8:21 PM | No Comment

Sarah:
Pork’s still a red meat; pork just has better advertisers.
That ad campaign you mentioned wasn’t based on any scientific study; instead, it was based on the fact that red meat, before Atkins, was labeled “bad” …

The Vine: January 5, 2006
January 5, 2006 – 1:35 PM | No Comment

Great Baseball Goddess Sars,Tell me, O Wise One, why is it that during the regular season, some games do not go the whole nine innings? I tried Googling this AND asking Jeeves, but I wasn’t …

The Vine: January 4, 2006
January 4, 2006 – 1:27 PM | No Comment

Dear Grammar Goddess,I recently heard someone use the phrase “endless ago,” in the sentence “I
wanted it endless ago.” I guessed that the sentence meant either “I’ve
wanted it for a very long time,” or possibly “I …

The Vine: January 3, 2006
January 3, 2006 – 11:27 AM | No Comment

Howdy Neighbor,Great site! I need your sage advice. I recently got
back together with my ex-girlfriend, Ellen. We
haven’t had sex yet, but it’s happening soon, and I’m
confused about something.
Previously, Ellen and I dated for a year. …

The Vine: December 16, 2005
December 16, 2005 – 3:35 PM | No Comment

Sars,
I was married the May before last. As my wife and I
are both atheist,
it was a wholly secular wedding. My very religious
parents did not
approve — to the point where they refused to attend.
We pleaded,
cajoled, and …

The Vine: December 15, 2005
December 15, 2005 – 8:43 PM | No Comment

I have a question that’s sort of the opposite of a
question in a recent Vine.The person asked
if she should make an effort to engage in asking more
questions during conversations.My question is, what
do you do when …

The Vine: December 14, 2005
December 14, 2005 – 8:13 PM | No Comment

Hi Sars,
You might have answered a similar “just moved to a new city and now my life is an existential mess” question a while back, but hopefully mine’s got a slightly different twist to it…
About …

The Vine: December 13, 2005
December 13, 2005 – 7:56 PM | No Comment

Hi Sars,
I met a guy one night while I was cocktailing.As
tends to happen when one is a cocktail waitress, he
and his friend started chatting with me.Since I had
had like, the best day ever, I was …