A pitch meeting I wish I’d attended
Submitted by Sarah D. Bunting on August 9, 2007 – 3:35 PM23 Comments
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Dear Sars,
Welcome back! Dear cracking dry hands season, not so much. I’m here to ask you/the readers about a product I could swear I saw mentioned on the Vine ages ago, but I can’t find …
I’m glad you’re ok. The weather in Brooklyn had me worried. The existence of that show is practically iron-clad proof of the doctrine of free will.
Because God likes to watch Darwinian Selection at work just as much as we do. When Johnny Fairplay goes up, I’m rooting for the bull.
Because bull riding is oddly fascinating and super for the short attention span. We’ll watch celebs cook, play hockey, dance. Do you remember how popular the Battle of the Network Stars was? Apparently some celeb (Woody Harrelson, no, I think Thomas Hayden Church) was injured in the competition. It’s going to be a train wreck but in watchable 8 second bursts!
Why, indeed. On the other hand, I can think of any number of “celebrities” I would like to see trying to ride bulls. Paris Hilton, Carrot Top, Moby, Rachel Ray, Dr. Phil, Flava Flav…the comedic potential of this concept is limited only by the potential for liability.
Aaand there’s already video up of Stephen Baldwin getting stomped on TMZ.
http://www.tmz.com/tmz_main_video?titleid=1133257204
I saw a full-page ad for that “show” in the latest EW. Then I looked at the fine print of the “celebrities” included and when I got to “Johnny Fairplay” I turned the page and prayed it would just go away, no TWoP recapper deserves that.
Because rednecks need crappy reality shows too?
Every time a ridiculous show like that comes around, I picture the pitch meeting is basically like when Jerry and George sat at the coffee shop and George was pitching him the most ridiculous ideas (“you run an antique shop,” “you’re a gymnastics coach”) before he came up with “nothing.”
Doing that amuses me to no end.
Maybe the guy (of course it’s a guy!) who green-lighted it wound up as the rodeo clown. There’s some karmic payback for you.
Hey Sars,
I hate to admit this, but I set this one up on my DVR. Seriously, how am I supposed to resist a title like that? Watching D-list celebutards do face plants in a dusty arena appeals to the uglier side of my nature I guess. Anyway, I can’t wait! Cindi
Oh dear. Even the prospect of Tobey Maguire (or other scrawny-but-kind-of-cute-but-STILL-he’s-TWELVE celebrity of your choice) atop an angry bull makes me chuckle. A lot.
But then, it’s CMT. I shudder to think what celebrities they have in mind.
We can only hope that the “contestants” will do us all a favor and get in the way of the bull! Sounds like Darwin-award contenders to me!
Depends on who they get… If I can watch Carrot Top, Paris Hilton, and Nancy Grace get kicked off a bull, I’m making popcorn for that shit. And I’ll send the bull some… Purina Bull Treats?
In general though, the shows some of these stations come up with simply awe me with their stupidity.
Carrot Top is scary ripped, y’all. I don’t think I could watch that. Paris Hilton would be kinda’ hilarious, though.
… And this is the day that I wish SO. BAD. that I still got CMT. Stupid Comcast. I liked my old cable monopoly better.
Because after making them live together in a house, live together on an island, dance, sing, spell, drive racecars, hunt, make paper airplanes, and and memorize the dictionary, there are still things we need to see D-list celebrities do?
Oh, boy. I went and looked at the website. Apparently CMT defines “celebrity” differently than I do. Of the people (all men, too — no Nancy Grace, dammit!) on the show, the only one I’d really qualify as a celebrity is Stephen Baldwin (also known as “Oh, that OTHER Baldwin brother”). Vanilla Ice and Leif Garrett are more like “former celebrities”, and I don’t know who the hell those other guys are.
If America could vote for which celebrity would ride the bull next (out of all celebrities) this would be a hit show.
and a small, cynical voice in my head says “presidential debates? Elections?”
Should I just run over and make a preemptive strike in the TWoP “Guilty Pleasures” thread right now?
Also, I would seriously decimate my entire 401k to see Dr. Phil flung high into the air and then spun like a basketball on Ferdinand’s left horn-tip.
Because even after Married By America, several seasons of Big Brother, and the Amazing Race Family Edition, Miss Alli still hasn’t worked off her bad recapping karma.
I would pay all kinds of money to see Lindsay Lohan and Paris Hilton get thrown by a wild bull. Unfortunately, both of them know that and are probably demanding large sums of money from CMT, which is why we get Vanilla Ice and Jonny Fairplay instead.
Vanilla Ice… oh sorry Robert van Winkle as he prefers to be known these days…
Did he put all his money into Enron or something? Because we’ve neither seen nor heard from him for ten years and now suddenly he’s Eddie McEverywhere.
As for Johnny Fairplay… I hope the bull sticks his horn where the sun don’t shine. After watching that show Kill Reality I barely class him as ‘human being’ much less ‘celebrity’
Wait, Vanilla Ice? Seriously? CMT might get the cobwebs shaken off of it at my place.
One of my relatives is a rapper, and the word among his “colleagues” is that Vanilla Ice puts on the best show the men have ever seen. Because it features lots of topless women on stage. So nice to know professional talent is appreciated by one’s peers, isn’t it?
And we HAVE seen Van Winkle within the past ten years, although not in any spectacular function. Rent “The New Guy,” and you’ll see him and a lot of other musicians in cameos.
My question: who the hell is “Cowboy” Kenny Bartram, and why should I care about his bullriding skills any more than an actual cowboy?