“I wrote 63 songs this year. They’re all about Jeter.” Just kidding. The game we love, the players we hate, and more.
From Norman Mailer to Wendy Pepper — everything on film, TV, books, music, and snacks (shut up, raisins), plus the Girls’ Bike Club.
Helping public schools, winning prizes, sending a crazy lady in a tomato costume out in public.
Monologues, travelogues, fiction, and fart humor. And hens. Don’t forget the hens.
The Tomato Nation advice column addresses your questions on etiquette, grammar, romance, and pet misbehavior. Ask The Readers about books or fashion today!
The current rounds of the N Cereal AA will close tomorrow; we’ll return with the Sweet 16 on Monday. While you wait, enjoy the Wimbledon Drinking Game I helped Joe R to craft, or vote in his brackets, the movie trailer tournament.
I’ve (re-)discovered a few things over the course of the recent Days Of Rage. Some of them are great!
It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a lonely girl in possession of a library card must be in want of a twin. The child who spends a lot of time in books also spends …
Sorry for the delay; Sweet 16 should go up by tonight at the latest.
Tell Joe R. that this year is a perfect one to update that game. Over the past three days, I’ve thought of half a dozen of them, most of which seem to revolve around the addition/return of Chris Evert to the ESPN broadcast team (feel free to revise, as you two are far funnier than I could hope to be):
+1 drink when someone in the broadcast center tells Chris how wonderful it is that she has rejoined the “ESPN Tennis Family”
+1 when Chris makes a reference to how tennis was back when she was playing in the Jurassic Era (add another drink if that reference happens to mention Martina Navratilova) (yet another if Chris ruefully chuckles about how many times she lost to Martina at Wimbledon)
+1 every time Chris gives a verbal handjob to one of the Williams sisters (double-fist if she praises both in the same sentence)
Others:
Waterfall for every match played on Court 18 when an announcer makes reference to last year’s Isner-Mahut 3-day marathon match (stop when the announcer admits that this year’s rematch was much shorter and duller than the original)
+1 drink for any reference Brad Gilbert makes to the “Big 4” of Nadal, Federer, Jokovich, and Murray (add a sip when he questions whether Andy Roddick deserves to be mentioned alongside them).
Something for every time John McEnroe says that Spot Shot has taken all the fun out of the matches because there’s no more arguing with the umpire.