“I wrote 63 songs this year. They’re all about Jeter.” Just kidding. The game we love, the players we hate, and more.
From Norman Mailer to Wendy Pepper — everything on film, TV, books, music, and snacks (shut up, raisins), plus the Girls’ Bike Club.
Helping public schools, winning prizes, sending a crazy lady in a tomato costume out in public.
Monologues, travelogues, fiction, and fart humor. And hens. Don’t forget the hens.
The Tomato Nation advice column addresses your questions on etiquette, grammar, romance, and pet misbehavior. Ask The Readers about books or fashion today!
Fig. 1: Puggelhoff
2. According to TV Tattle (also the source of the fine toy above), Variety reports that the Hoff will play himself on Tales from the Hoff: “[The] project stemmed from conversations Hasselhoff had with friends about how his life might inspire an interesting TV show.”
…Really.Because I believe that was actually a conversation I had with my friend.
I’ve (re-)discovered a few things over the course of the recent Days Of Rage. Some of them are great!
It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a lonely girl in possession of a library card must be in want of a twin. The child who spends a lot of time in books also spends …
Hey. I don’t know what we do now either. I DO know that we’ll need each other going forward, as we always have, for support, mutual aid, and information on where to get high-quality wide-calf …
The worst part of this is, besides all the other parts (ewww, those poor pugs), is that “Tales of the Hoff” is being produced by none other than the dinky and ubiquitous Ryan Seacrest.
And that is probably my favorite GBC – I still want a “Don’t Hassel the Hoff” t-shirt.
Is Kiefer already in the GBC – I don’t remember? Seeing how this is his third DUI, if he ain’t in already, he needs to be.
Dude, he TOTALLY stole it from you! BASTARD.
But GOD, that picture.
That’s . . . just . . . GAH.
(Oh – as a completely unrelated note – I crocheted a baby blanket for my cousin’s son, and I’m in the process of needlepointing his name, backwards, onto the blanket, and so right now it just says ‘HEN’. I was on the 7 train last night, thinking of you and giggling.)
Everyone gets thier best ideas from you, Sars. Don’t you know that?
I am afraid now…how many of those things do you think they sell? Gotta go hide from a world I no longer understand…
Methinks Sars and Wing Chun have a viable copyright lawsuit. But what fun would suing him be when you can have him seranade you with his awesome singing powers that apparantly only work on people in Germany… or something.
My eyes! My eyes!
I am incredibly amused by the image of the hoff reading gbc. Any chance of this making it into the next installment?
Seriously. That photo?
You should be ASHAMED.
I really enjoy the Hoff’s “as himself” appearances in various really bad movies. See: The Spongebob Squarepants Movie. See also: Kickin it Old School. (in which he wears his own “Don’t Hassel The Hoff” shirt. HAW. meta.)
Not that I, uh, WATCHED either of those movies…. [cough]
GAAAAHHHHH. The poseable paper Hoff has a hair dickie. Is it possible to be nauseated in your SOUL?
The paper Hoff will take his place of honor next to my paper doll bald Britney at work.
I can’t wait to be identified as the lady with the paper doll army.
Of COURSE the Hoff reads GBC. He’s just GOT to be Googling himself on a regular basis, no?
I always thought that “Germans Love The Hoff” thing was a joke until I was in a cab in Frankfurt last month. The driver grabbed a CD case off the front seat, popped the CD in, and cranked the volume. Yes, it was Hasselhoff. And this old German cab driver was happily singing along…loudly. It would have been cute if my ears weren’t bleeding.
Are those pugs, or sharpeis? They look awfully wrinkly in the body to be pug bebbies.
Sharphasselhoff? hoffpei? Shasselpei?
What is the statute of limitations on animal cruelty? Poor puppies. At least it’s not a recent photo. You wouldn’t be able to tell were the dog’s wrinkles ended and The Hoff’s began.
Krissa, I thought the same thing. It doesn’t make the picture less disturbing (or “Pugglehoff” any less cute), but I’m pretty sure those aren’t pugs.
Upon closer inspection — which I assume I may be forgiven for avoiding before — it appears that that is indeed not Puggelhoff, but Hoff Pei. My apologies.